New 16

[Emadyville]

Your mouth did too much workin so shut the curtain,
I shouldn’t be such a person but I’m so certain,
That all your words-then will become a cut version,
Cause you forced me to write so nowhere is luck mergin,
For you, it all turned on you, these words are vital,
Goodbye you should wave cause my wave is tidal,
You killed yourself, I guess your verse was suicidal,
Now it’s time to drop the pen and pick up the Midol,
So here’s a response to stop the nonsense with comments,
My conscience is never wrong-lets bomb-less,
You hopped the wrong-fence so this song-tends,
To send the wrong-tense of verb usage and contents,
When I’m finished with this verse you’ll be out the game,
Before you talk big you should learn about the name,
Cause when I respond you enter the house of pain,
No way to stop my skill or ever douse the flame…

Feedback please

[Steve Spag]

Awesome drop man!
The structure for it was incredible. I loved your wordplay and all your multi-syllable rhyming.

So here’s a response to stop the nonsense with comments,
My conscience is never wrong-lets bomb-less,
You hopped the wrong-fence so this song-tends,
To send the wrong-tense of verb usage and contents,
When I’m finished with this verse you’ll be out the game,

^^
That was my fav. part.
Keeep it up man!

[Emadyville]

Thank you man. I appreciate it.

[DelinQuent]

its great, rhyming sound phenominal.

however i could find a good flow when reading this because it rhymed so much, so i think it may be difficult to record this and have a solid flow on it, idk tho, you wrote it so i'm sure you had something in mind. keep it up

[Emadyville]

its great, rhyming sound phenominal.

however i could find a good flow when reading this because it rhymed so much, so i think it may be difficult to record this and have a solid flow on it, idk tho, you wrote it so i'm sure you had something in mind. keep it up

Yeah you're right, I had kinda like a little scattered flow, which might be tough, but how I wrote it I think it can work. Like were you have 4 bars with the intense multi's would be a little faster. I hope that makes sense lol thanks for the feed.

[Ka0t1c]

its good, pretty clever

[Emadyville]

its good, pretty clever

Thanks man, any reason why you thought it was clever?

[Ka0t1c]

yes, this part proved it just by the words you used and the message it brought forth:

You hopped the wrong-fence so this song-tends,
To send the wrong-tense of verb usage and contents,

it's pretty smart

[Emadyville]

yes, this part proved it just by the words you used and the message it brought forth:

You hopped the wrong-fence so this song-tends,
To send the wrong-tense of verb usage and contents,

it's pretty smart

Damn thank you for clearing it up a little, i really appreciate it.

[Arabian Shady]

yes, this part proved it just by the words you used and the message it brought forth:

You hopped the wrong-fence so this song-tends,
To send the wrong-tense of verb usage and contents,

it's pretty smart

Damn thank you for clearing it up a little, i really appreciate it.

dammit you talked about my fav part man
no doubt good verse, no problem with the flows, anything looks easy after reading sumthin written by rain,his shit is a cypher in itself,lol
all in all sick drop
Peace

[Kez]

Loved it

[<Stiiccy>]

woah real real nice...
i think you could be an awesome battle rapper...

except fix this line

That all your words-then will become a cut version,

instead of "a cut version"
make it "the cut version"

[Emadyville]

woah real real nice...
i think you could be an awesome battle rapper...

except fix this line

That all your words-then will become a cut version,

instead of "a cut version"
make it "the cut version"

Ok yeah i see that, thanks sticcy.

[<Stiiccy>]

np