Tough to Illume

[Ka0t1c]

how can i lose to someone who doesn't belong to become
beyond my two shoes which i do walk in, respond, i'm calm
i want the good news but i picture you talkin what's wrong
well, there's nothin to bruise because i have gone numb

so here's a topic to choose and i'll share from bummed
Kaotic, "i swear, i often get blues for i suffer along
anywhere, i'm aware, i once was amused
plus knowledge i shared amongst a number of youth

now i've crumbled, i fear i'm gonna stumble, i'm runnin on fumes
i'm scared that my palms only fumble cuz my songs don't resume
am i impaired, i juggle all my loved tunes cuz i struggle to bloom
i'm sorry, tomorrow shall i dare to be done mufflin my wounds?

hell, i volunteer to uncover the truth but it's tough to illume...

[mcZu]

Great, one of your best that I've read.
Really liked the rhyme pattern, flow, and the deepness in it.
Enjoyed reading it man

[Ka0t1c]

thanx, i appreciate it

[neversnooze]

nice lyric/poem

if i read this correctly, your like a mentor giving advice using two different voices and the mentor is collapsing.

if you take out kaotic in the second verse, it will be much better and your meaning will be the same.
anyways good write

<im trying to leave good feedback, dont misunderstand me

[lilrossy]

good drop man. it flowed really nicely. keep up the good work.

[Ka0t1c]

nice lyric/poem

if i read this correctly, your like a mentor giving advice using two different voices and the mentor is collapsing.

if you take out kaotic in the second verse, it will be much better and your meaning will be the same.
anyways good write

<im trying to leave good feedback, dont misunderstand me

well, if i take out my name it wouldn't make sense because how i structured it and also the word bummed

it's s'posed to be bummed Kaotic (me)

[neversnooze]

nice lyric/poem

if i read this correctly, your like a mentor giving advice using two different voices and the mentor is collapsing.

if you take out kaotic in the second verse, it will be much better and your meaning will be the same.
anyways good write

<im trying to leave good feedback, dont misunderstand me

well, if i take out my name it wouldn't make sense because how i structured it and also the word bummed

it's s'posed to be bummed Kaotic (me)

thats true, and if you were to take out bummed and kaotic it wouldnt make sense at all, i should have put more thought into it

[Ka0t1c]

Lol, it's alright, maybe i should just fix it up and reword it different

[James R.]

Probably the best I've read from you. I like the flow and the rhyme scheme. I like the rhyming itself. Very good piece. Keep this level of work coming man.

[Ka0t1c]

thanx James, i most certainly will.