"a hard headed nigga i was"

[ShAdY CaPo 08]

man for what so reason, i really suck at school
a fool who'd walk into home room in a bad mood
day dreamin' in 2nd period with a desk full of drool
bout to quit this, pick up 2x4's and a set of tools
nobody can tell nothin
teachers always on my case gotta be buggin
sayin i talk too much & nothin' but an interruption
imma volcanic eruption and quick at the jaw
"mr. leppek get out in the hall!
ill be out there to talk about all the rules you broke this fall!"
but i'd split as fast as i could, like they was the law
im jumpin fences in the woods, scratches all along my palms
thought i knew everything and bit the hand that fed
all i thought about was girls, money, and my death

fuckk... sometimes i really hate school...all semester long ive had time to write 15 papers on current events on chapters we studied in Psych. and i have 5 papers done and its do tommorow. i really dicked my self. i cant get shit done because im just day dreamin about drinkin' , gettin a piece of ass, playin xbox 360, and im randomly writing shit like that up therrrreeeeee^^..... somebody pleeeeeaaase help me, hehe i think jimmys goooooone craaaaazzzzzy... fuckk.

[lilrossy]

as much as i hate skewl 2, ima have 2 say i wasn't really feelin dis. the flow was off in parts of the verse , the rhyme scheme was prety bad. also 2wards the end it seemed like you lost focus. the idea was right and the story wasn't 2 bad, jus need a bit more pratice. keep postin man.

[ShAdY CaPo 08]

as much as i hate skewl 2, ima have 2 say i wasn't really feelin dis. the flow was off in parts of the verse , the rhyme scheme was prety bad. also 2wards the end it seemed like you lost focus. the idea was right and the story wasn't 2 bad, jus need a bit more pratice. keep postin man.

haha yeeeeeeaaaaa that shit was just me comin from top of the dome in 5 or so minutes fuccin around when i shoulda been typing these papers. i didnt give two squirts of piss about it and ended it randomly (i just noticed i kinda just stopped it and that was that) but hear i am at 2:42 a.m. still typing these papers about to blow my brains out. but shiiiiiiiiit thanks for actually reading it hahaha and voicin' an opinion... ill give you a , drink up buddy.

[lilrossy]

anytime, it's all good man.

[neversnooze]

damn man you sound like a bad student lol , get yourself motivated
this piece has a simple write and understanding to it. keep it up

[Solace]

Too simple man, but i liked what you were saying. you cant blame school considering your just sitting around shitting away the days. anyways, do more wordplay and multies. 5/10

[James R.]

It was very simple, the flow went off a lot, the structure wasn't as consistent which is probably why you had flow issues. You need to up the vocab and incorporate some multies, metaphores, similies, and not be so direct. It's a good start, but you can definitely build a lot on it.

[Ka0t1c]

ima be an asshole...

if u keep writing like that, you might as well stop...and FINISH YO GOD DAMN HOMEWORK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[lilrossy]

ima be an asshole...

if u keep writing like that, you might as well stop...and FINISH YO GOD DAMN HOMEWORK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

hahaha, i agree. but im not an asshole.

[ShAdY CaPo 08]

haha fuck you guys...it wasnt to take seriously, i guess imma not post random shit like that in creative writing when im bored in the library. blow the wood.

[James R.]

or just say it's not to be taken seriously so people don't waste time critiquing something you don't give a hot shit about.

[ShAdY CaPo 08]

thank you james r. im a james also. James L. to be exact.

[James R.]

Ill ass name