NEW - Eruption (REVISING)

[Solace]

Been a while since I posted something...Considering to redo the second verse, wasnt written that well.

[Verse 1]
Make you have an Epiphany, other rappers don't listen to me,
Cause these pussys are too busy getting fisted to see,
So bitches are frisky, and when I'm gone, you'll miss me,
I may be tipsy indeed, so pass me another whiskey,
So hit me, jump me, kill me, my hearts pumping,
I'm so scared of your big boys coming to punch me,
Don't even need some back-up, I'll fight alone,
I'll use my resources, use some sticks and use some stones,
And break your bones, and I promise my words will hurt,
Think otherwise, my punchlines will make you eat the dirt,
I'm sick of you, done with you, I've had my fun with you,
Time to get my gun, y'all better be running before I shoot.

[Chorus x4]
I'm sick of this bullshit, it's making me go insane,
Running in with a full clip to blow out your fucking brain.

[Verse 2]
So think outside the box, stop with the cowardly acts,
The only time you got a weapon is when you stab people in the back,
Your unknown, no one ever gave you visual contact,
Keeping your crotch strapped, originality is what you cocks lack,
So watch that, keep your eyes wide open,
Learn a couple new words, i thought all your disses were joking,
Just wait till your choking, aint got no friends now,
It all ends here, your life ends now,
The eruption of a volcano kills, just dont forget it,
Catch it while its slipping off your mind, cause its deadly.

[Chorus x4]

[Slim Zaddy]

it' s nice man .. i liked your rhymes they were decent , nd the way it flowed ..it looks nice .. lyrically it's good .. over all good job bro .. keep the heat up

[Ka0t1c]

i think your 1st verse is pretty amazing but your 2nd one was lackin... ne ways for what it's worth, continue on with what you do, just keep building up your momentum... never half ass anything you do.

[MC Anonymous]

i think your 1st verse is pretty amazing but your 2nd one was lackin... ne ways for what it's worth, continue on with what you do, just keep building up your momentum... never half ass anything you do.

I agree with Kaotic on this one.

[Solace]

Wow thanks guys^^ Im definately redoing the 2nd verse, i need to be consistent

[Kez]

There are some great punches and lines in this shit.

Flow was consistent, and while the concept is played that doesn't mean it can't be done.

I agree the second verse lacked as much personality as the first; at times it was like it could have been any rapper saying it to anyone. Could have also used more metaphors, as most of it was mainly punchlines and bragging.

But it was a sick little thing all the same

[Solace]

There are some great punches and lines in this shit.

Flow was consistent, and while the concept is played that doesn't mean it can't be done.

I agree the second verse lacked as much personality as the first; at times it was like it could have been any rapper saying it to anyone. Could have also used more metaphors, as most of it was mainly punchlines and bragging.

But it was a sick little thing all the same

Thanks, ill try to improve on that, using more metaphors and try to push out the "im great" concept. Ill do it now in fact

edit: this any better?

So think outside the box, stop with the cowardly acts,
Only time you use a weapon is when you stab people in the back,
I aint bragging, your just lacking the skill to get contacted,
Keeping your crotch strapped, originality is what you cocks lack,
So watch that, keep your eyes wide open,
Cause I'm not joking with you "gangsters" who snort coke and,
Do heroin, I'm sick of it, I'm about to explode,
The volcano is erupting, ladies & gentlemen I hope you enjoy the show.