Guys I Need Your Help

[FAME]

So my brother is trying to "follow in my footsteps" of rapping. The problem is when I try to help him he dosen't wanna take lessons that I'm trying to teach him too well. I showed him one of Solace's raps about a week ago and he really liked it, so maybe this is a way to get through to him. I would never allow him to sign up to TR Shady (I might get banned and this place is too harsh for him) He's 13 and goes to a catholic school, but yeah. If you could give my brother any pointers on his rapping negative and positive please, I would love to show him. Maybe you guys can get through to him on how to get better. He showed me this rap about a week ago, guys please break it down.

The power of incineration
Makes my own imitation
I’m not an abomination
I’m a big inspiration
I will create my own population
I’m starting my preparation
I’m about to reach desperation
My life’s beyond agitation
I’m trying to get out of this situation
I’m about to get to my destination
I have my own imagination
It all ends with the same sensation
This is my one and only creation
I don’t like this cooperation
My life’s not a documentation
Your on my list of elimination
I don’t have an identification
I’m not having any hallucinations
I can’t handle this transformation
I need help getting through this modification

btw he did go to google and type in words that end in -tion I'm gonna have my hands full.

[FAME]

lmao at looking up words and where's that pic you promised us??

breakdown

he should make the lines longer and use stronger rhymes instead of tion which is only a small rhyme to begin with

good news he seems intelligent and that is good (trust me)

the more he writes the better he gets it's that simple, btw if he's only 13 tell him he'll be fire no time

Thank you soo much! I'll take one right now with my webcam just for you

[Yah-hah]

Wow um I think he's focusing on the rhyming complexity way to much. I think it helps so much better if you start off working on wat you gotta say, then focus on how you gonna say it. Unless he is tryin to go extra cannibus then in that case good job lol

[Most-Hated]

Actually at 13, I think this is a great start for him...

He understands that you must you use complexity to be relevent now-a-days...

I think this kid would be a great pupil if you showed him the ways of putting Swag in his rhymes lol..

[Arrinef]

damn.....i've never seen so many shuns in my life

[FAME]

damn.....i've seen so many shuns in my life

I didn't know they had this many either....lol

[Fa-Q]

Pretty good for a first piece...that catholic school is sure teachin him a good vocab...the best thing to do is to listen to good artist and tell him to develop his own style...that's what I did

[FAME]

Thank you guys, I'll certainly show this to him tommorow, maybe I can even get him to thank you guys in a video

[gutawafang]

The sentences are damn short but it still flows as a rap. Looking up for words at google isn't wrong.

I think your brother has a good vocab. And his storytelling is quite good.

[Strictt Ame]

Line length really isnt an issue..as long as it rides the beat the length doesnt matter..

tell him rhymezone.com will rot your brain lol..if anything I think hes trying TOO HARD..let the rhymes flow rather than forcing it words that will only make the verse have less meaning and make no sense..have him start simple, write about any given day, teachers, homework, the ride home..anything that will help him form everyday events into songs..I used to write paragraphs in school take the high points and turn them into raps at home..just make sure he knows a good vocab doesnt mean it will be a good verse..

[2sDay]

sing him up to TRshady.... so we can have another 13 year old

[FAME]

sing him up to TRshady.... so we can have another 13 year old

never, one I won't risk my account getting deleted because of the same ip's and two you guys have things like the porn thread and hottest girls thread, not that they are bad or anything. I just don't want my brother to see stuff like that.

[2sDay]

sing him up to TRshady.... so we can have another 13 year old

never, one I won't risk my account getting deleted because of the same ip's and two you guys have things like the porn thread and hottest girls thread, not that they are bad or anything. I just don't want my brother to see stuff like that.

where are these threads u speak of...