These Tears I Cry

[Inzanity]

alright this is more like a poetic story then a song but watever just so u know it's a true story I hope everyone likes it.

(Verse 1)

It was 2004 mid august a rainy summer night
the rain was pouring down sparkling on the street lights
I was walking with my cousin Steven through the lightening and thunder
all we could see were cars driving by and people running for cover
trying to hide from the wetness of the rain
I was telling my cousin about the depression and the pain
that I was feeling at that time
It was getting late it was about half past nine
He took me to his friend Freddy's house
he said Freddy might be able to help me out
so there I am on the front steps of his porch
I told him wat was on my mind and he opened the car door of his porche
he told me "get in we'll go for a ride" so we left Freddy's house
we pulled up to this little church in Holyoke and he opened the door to let me out
I asked him y we were there
he said every saturday his pastor has prayer
so we went inside and I met his pastor
we prayed for a while and right after
the pastor prayed wit me one on one
I told him I felt like my life has come undone
like it's falling apart piece by peice
and if I don't get help I'll soon be decease

(Course)

Cause' these tears I cry
come from years of lies
and I can't face the fears inside
and I'm contemplating suicide
and every1 can see it in these tears I cry
Cause' these tears I cry
come from years of lies

(Verse 2)

he said "suicide's an honest risk"
thats when he noticed the cuts on my wrist
he asked me why I did it
he said "why would you take your life and risk it"
"why would you cut your wrist kid"
I told him "listen"
"I don't have a soul it's missing"
"all I got inside are torn emotions"
"I'm worn and hopeless"
then he asked if I wanted God to save me
I told him look "I think God made a mistake when he made me"
"cause' after all I've been through I'm convinced that God hates me"
he said "God don't make mistakes people do"
I said "yea well either way evil's crule"
then he said "God give's people choices and those people chose to hurt you"
"but God will never go desert you"
then he asked again "do you want God to save you''
he said "just ask him to forgive you for your sin's" so I did and he said "God forgave you"
and all of a sudden tears fell from my eye's and
he said "why are you crying"
so I told him

(Course)

these tears I cry
come from years of lies
but I can finally face the fears inside
I'm no longer contemplating suicide
I'm getting the pain out in these tears I cry
cause' these tears I cry
come from years of lies

(Verse 3)

it's been almost a year and 5 months since that night
I'm still at that little church in Holyoke and life has since been right
but I got a message from God telling me I gotta say goodbye
cause' I joined the service and their shipping me off in July
I don't wanna leave them cause' I know once I do it'll emotionaly damage me
cause' the people in that church are closer to me then my family
they've giving me a love no1 has ever shown me
and I know without them my life will be lonely
but it's wat God wants and I gotta do wat he say's
after all he know's best
I know he'll guide me through the struggles
and he'll carry me through the troubles
and when I die
and my life flashes before my eyes
and I look back in the sand of heavens beach
and for every struggle in my life I only see
one set of footprints in the sand
I won't ask him y cause' I'll know the footprints belong to the son of man
and it was during the struggles that he carried me in his hands
so I'll look back on that beach
and be proud to see one set of feet
knowing that those footprints didn't come from me
they came from Jesus
he was the only one who carried me when my life was being torn to peices


(Coruse)

and these tears I cry
may come from years of lies
but I can finally face the fears inside
I'm no longer contemplating suicide
so let these be the last tears I cry
cause' these tears I cry
come from years of lies

here read this poem it'll help u understand what I'm talking about in the 3rd verse:
Footprints In The Sand

One night a man had a dream. He dreamed
he was walking along the beach with the LORD.
Across the sky flashed scenes from his life.
For each scene he noticed two sets of
footprints in the sand: one belonging
to him, and the other to the LORD.
When the last scene of his life flashed before him,
he looked back at the footprints in the sand.
He noticed that many times along the path of
his life there was only one set of footprints.
He also noticed that it happened at the very
lowest and saddest times in his life.
This really bothered him and he
questioned the LORD about it:
"LORD, you said that once I decided to follow
you, you'd walk with me all the way.
But I have noticed that during the most
troublesome times in my life,
there is only one set of footprints.
I don't understand why when
I needed you most you would leave me."
The LORD replied:
"My son, my precious child,
I love you and I would never leave you.
During your times of trial and suffering,
when you see only one set of footprints,
it was then that I carried you."

Written by Mary Stevenson

[Ivy]

Oh my God....................

*grabs for tissues*

Me - What??

*Tissue Box is empty*

Me - Oh god, now I get to cry because there's no tissues....


Great Poetic/lyrics composition, I really liked it....

*Uses sleeves to wipe eyes...*

[MuNxMuN]

that was really sad. *sniff* the cutting part gave me the chills while i was reading

[Ivy]

that was really sad. *sniff* the cutting part gave me the chills while i was reading

It sent shivers down my spine....

[X-Ray]

wtf u aint depressive u dont no what its like when there is no light when u live in eternal light and no matter how much might you use it only abuses u
when not one day not one week of depression no nine yrs odf it stiiers u to the pain to start to go insane and want to slit you rists to get to bliss
b4 u start talkiing shit like that u need to have lifed with it every day i can remember was dark there was no spark to lghten it u i'm 14 and i feel like my my pain would be as big as from a 90 yr old do you know when its ur wingers going bald of wormth and the cold of death touchis you and conciels you what do you k nnow abaught cutting your own neck just for a lek of silence what do you know abaught everything you ever wanted going away and saying it hates you have you ever been near deatth not a day not a knife but a second away when everyone seems just to wana play with your feeling and yoour souls feels like empty peelins what do you know abaught getting bulid over your entier life the kids nort giving a fuck that you didn't want to fight and your sight for wormth just is destroyd slayd and dispached what do you know abaught trying to kill your self with a hachet.
when u can tell me that and you can tell me witch path im ment to take to feel ok pleas i'm open to it just don't give me some bulshit abaught that i have
otherwise it was good but cum on you wernt depressiv where you if yes tell me how to get rid of it pleas

[Inzanity]

wtf u aint depressive u dont no what its like when there is no light when u live in eternal light and no matter how much might you use it only abuses u
when not one day not one week of depression no nine yrs odf it stiiers u to the pain to start to go insane and want to slit you rists to get to bliss
b4 u start talkiing shit like that u need to have lifed with it every day i can remember was dark there was no spark to lghten it u i'm 14 and i feel like my my pain would be as big as from a 90 yr old do you know when its ur wingers going bald of wormth and the cold of death touchis you and conciels you what do you k nnow abaught cutting your own neck just for a lek of silence what do you know abaught everything you ever wanted going away and saying it hates you have you ever been near deatth not a day not a knife but a second away when everyone seems just to wana play with your feeling and yoour souls feels like empty peelins what do you know abaught getting bulid over your entier life the kids nort giving a fuck that you didn't want to fight and your sight for wormth just is destroyd slayd and dispached what do you know abaught trying to kill your self with a hachet.
when u can tell me that and you can tell me witch path im ment to take to feel ok pleas i'm open to it just don't give me some bulshit abaught that i have
otherwise it was good but cum on you wernt depressiv where you if yes tell me how to get rid of it pleas

listen buddy I've been through more then u can imagine I've been raped by my uncle my dad my cousin and my best friends dad I haven't been in church all my life I started going to church about a year and 5 months ago I was suicidal I sliced my wrists and I poped pills I used to do mushrooms and cokeanie and I smoked weed I needed some1 to turn to and that pastor was the only person who would hear me out. and how can u say that I haven't been through hard times u don't know me man I don't know how ur gonna get rid of ur depression but I know that pastor helped me get rid of mine u might need to take a different path then me mabe consuling will help u or mabey something else I don't know every1's different and church might not work for u but it worked for me so don't sit there and judge me alright cause u don't know me and I would never judge and I guarentee u've never been raped by ur own father. I've been through more things in my life then u'll ever go through I stayed at that church because those people showed me love they were the 1st people to show me wat true love was. I didn't write this song to insult anybody it's the story of how I got rid of my depression. I wouldn't judge u if u got rid of ur depression and wrote a song about it God was my way of stoping the pain u might have a different way and I respect that but God's my way and I ask that u respect that. and I do apoligize if somehow my song insulted u I didn't intend it to.

[Ivy]

I have Chronic Depression, so if I go into a depressive phase it last a minimum of 7 months....

[Inzanity]

I have Chronic Depression, so if I go into a depressive phase it last a minimum of 7 months....

sorry to here that I hope u can find a way to stop ur depression

[Ivy]

They say it's a Genetic illness...so it won't leave.....I can actually relate to a lot of the shit you said in that paragraph...

[Inzanity]

thank u sarah

[X-Ray]

wtf u aint depressive u dont no what its like when there is no light when u live in eternal light and no matter how much might you use it only abuses u
when not one day not one week of depression no nine yrs odf it stiiers u to the pain to start to go insane and want to slit you rists to get to bliss
b4 u start talkiing shit like that u need to have lifed with it every day i can remember was dark there was no spark to lghten it u i'm 14 and i feel like my my pain would be as big as from a 90 yr old do you know when its ur wingers going bald of wormth and the cold of death touchis you and conciels you what do you k nnow abaught cutting your own neck just for a lek of silence what do you know abaught everything you ever wanted going away and saying it hates you have you ever been near deatth not a day not a knife but a second away when everyone seems just to wana play with your feeling and yoour souls feels like empty peelins what do you know abaught getting bulid over your entier life the kids nort giving a fuck that you didn't want to fight and your sight for wormth just is destroyd slayd and dispached what do you know abaught trying to kill your self with a hachet.
when u can tell me that and you can tell me witch path im ment to take to feel ok pleas i'm open to it just don't give me some bulshit abaught that i have
otherwise it was good but cum on you wernt depressiv where you if yes tell me how to get rid of it pleas

listen buddy I've been through more then u can imagine I've been raped by my uncle my dad my cousin and my best friends dad I haven't been in church all my life I started going to church about a year and 5 months ago I was suicidal I sliced my wrists and I poped pills I used to do mushrooms and cokeanie and I smoked weed I needed some1 to turn to and that pastor was the only person who would hear me out. and how can u say that I haven't been through hard times u don't know me man I don't know how ur gonna get rid of ur depression but I know that pastor helped me get rid of mine u might need to take a different path then me mabe consuling will help u or mabey something else I don't know every1's different and church might not work for u but it worked for me so don't sit there and judge me alright cause u don't know me and I would never judge and I guarentee u've never been raped by ur own father. I've been through more things in my life then u'll ever go through I stayed at that church because those people showed me love they were the 1st people to show me wat true love was. I didn't write this song to insult anybody it's the story of how I got rid of my depression. I wouldn't judge u if u got rid of ur depression and wrote a song about it God was my way of stoping the pain u might have a different way and I respect that but God's my way and I ask that u respect that. and I do apoligize if somehow my song insulted u I didn't intend it to.

sorry i didnt know but how ever i damed well can think what you have been thru you think im depressiv for nothing not eaven the paster will here me out here shit i was ment to get medication but the world thot fuck it hes just a little git and i'm still w8 for it that with ur perents and oncel i feel sorry i don't knnow that one . but yeah i have been thro things like u i came to thhis world as a criple you finde that not hard i know damed well that its hard for you and dog im feeling you ok i just could not belive what u wrote but still i just want you to know that its just as hard having to go thro this world the way i have to ppl don't c me as krippeld they just think i take drugs and belive me if i could i would i belikve u now that u put it like that i'm glad your over it, but i never had friends to talk to all that i got wwas a mushed up back a fucked up nerve systeem and 4 kids trying to kill me

so mybe we should make some group for as depressed onnes then we could taalk it out, coz don't think i dont care abaught you ive been fighting for kids like me like you like tigg we all are the o nes atacked by society.

so all i can say is dog i'm sorry i apollagise and your damed right i don't know shit abaught you but i can imagine it and im sorryy it was meane of me sorry and i admire you for going to the pastor but he just laught aat me and sed i should go away

thanks Sarah

oh and Tiggi i hope it goes away my oncle commited suicide coz of that and my mums was also depresst and my cusen is depresst

oh and by the way empty did you try sucide i nearly killed my self but it didnt work but it was peacfull for like 2 secs till the rope broke and i was back on this fucking earth.

and to all depresst ppl in the forum

[Inzanity]

yea I tried suicide once my mom found me and she made me get counculing which didn't work cause the consuler thought I was crazy anyway suicide isn't the answer if u wanna talk I'm willing to hear wat u have to say. just pm me and turst me man I'll pray for you if u want me too?

[Ivy]

X I tried to commit suicide to escape it...but I'm over it now...I'm out of my depressive stage...and I'm fighting to keep it that way...but since I'm not depressed I now have Angermanagement Issues.....so I guess it's a lose lose situation either way

[X-Ray]

X I tried to commit suicide to escape it...but I'm over it now...I'm out of my depressive stage...and I'm fighting to keep it that way...but since I'm not depressed I now have Angermanagement Issues.....so I guess it's a lose lose situation either way

rofl sorry thats hard i know that 1

[em16]

it's some great lyrics and a great poem.. allthough they're pretty sad..