Sarah wrote:> Evil _ MoNkEy < wrote:im sorry... i just havent slept for 3 days....... and today i read sumthin, and it just felt like a dagger in my heart and i mean, it hurt me so bad i actually could not breath........ and its like, ive had this nausia and this lump in my throat for days........ and its all becus of... well... its a bit personal... i really cant say.... i dont know... but the thing is i really dont know.... im never informed of wats goin on nemore.... i dont find out about sumthin till 3 weeks later, and now im just devastated, cus its just proof that things rnt real, and that im just dreaming, and were never gonna be together, and he has his life, and im never gonna be a part of it and it just feels as tho im just wasting my time and energy and health over sumthin that i seem to be the only one remotely concerned about.... and it feels like my world is slowly crumbling beneath me... and im falling flat on my face, but theres no one there to catch my fall... and alls i want is to be happy.... just happy... but it might be all in my head.... but i dont know becus he dosnt tell me, and becus he dosnt tell me i dont know.... so until further notice, judging by this post u can tell i have officially had a mental breakdown....
Awwww, I'm so sorry to hear that......reallyI......I don't know what to say really. But I'm here for moral support Anna
it may not be much but it's all I can do. I really hope you do work things out and everything goes ok
but thats just the thing.... im not entirely sure if things need worked out at all.... i mean.... he seems to think everythings fine..... but i mean.... i feel so isolated from him, its just akward talking nemore..... its like things have changed.......... i feel like ive lost my best friend
and its like..... gay.... i mean, wen u truely deeply in ur heart wanna be sumone, but u cant.... and it just eats away at u, but it dosnt even seem to phase them the slightest bit (im not saying it dosnt... but i dont know if it does or not)
i mean..... i almost feel like theres this disease eating away at my brain, destroying it by leeching on parasiticly to every cell... one by one, i lose a little more of myself and who i used to be... and its like this misserable pathetic waste of life is slowly takin my place.... have u noticed i dont even bother with my signiture font nemore... and i barely use smileys..... i have slowly lost my fuckin will to live... wich is b.s. cus he said hed lose his w/o me..... but aparently i am the only one infected with the desease....... am i making ne sence at all?
. Shit I really don't know what to say. You said once before his just been busy. Maybe he doesn't have much internet time.....