Nice or Not?

[J.R.]

Simple question. Something I struggle with alot.

do you,

A) Prefer to be nice as much as possible.

or

B) Say what you want, be a total dick if you have to, and if someone doesn't like it they can get fucked.


and why?

[EminemBase]

Not entirely either but if I had to choose between A or B, then B.

I've always been more B than A anyway, and pretty much am that in life.

But, the reason I said 'not entirely' either is because... B suggests that you're a prick to people, for its own sake, which is just as bad as being falsely nice for its own sake.

Anyway - I just live by the idea of 'no-compromise' in respects to my beliefs and passions. My focus is usually on ideas or passions or concepts and... not particularly on people anyway but you can still be polite and respectable and have a dignity about you, and gain the respect of others and be liked, and still never compromise your views, personality or be false.

I'd never not say a view for the sake of company though. As in, I wouldn't hold my tongue on religion is a priest was in my company. In fact I'd probably be even more outright and provocative.

I'm never false anyway. So, if somebody asks me how I am and I'm depressed, I'll just tell them. Obviously I dress things in humour, sarcasm etc. as... if you didn't, not only would you be a bore, you'd just be a repulsive person to speak to most likely.

I'm struggling to completely encapsulate how I am or how I think I should be as... rarely do any of us totally live by our own philosophies 100% anyway. I'm sure there's been moments where I have been more pleasant than I felt natural being for the sake of the situation or society or whatever, but generally speaking: I speak my mind, I don't lick ass, I don't cow tow to people and... I'm just myself, I form my own opinions and, I'd rather live by my word, than die by somebody else's.

It's been said in many ways but essentially, I think it's better to be who you are and think what you think and reap the rewards or suffer the consequences of all that, on your terms... than it is to get any result on anything less. As, just think how brilliant it feels / would feel when you achieve something through your own merit, with no compromise.

And then just imagine how shitty it may feel to achieve success knowing you lied to yourself, knowing you sold yourself out. You may have the success, but you lose your integrity.

Money, possessions... it's all fabrication and the product of human innovation and creativity. What we really posses as individuals, is integrity. Our own viewpoints, our own experiences, these things can't be fabricated by others, they're truly our own, all of ours. No matter if others share similar views, nobody has the EXACT viewpoint you have and nobody has had the exact same experience you have (to anybody), so that is truly unique. So to trade that for anything, nevermind money or cars or the approval of other people? it's inherently... short-sighted, it's not worth it.

Not a good trade... so, B.

[J.R.]

No offense to you, EmBase,

B) Say what you want, be a total dick if you have to, and if someone doesn't like it they can get fucked.

That just says being a dick if you have to . Not for the sake of being a dick itself.


In my case, I don't give a fuck if people don't like me. if they do, i'm generally nice unless given a reason or shits been getting to me.

[EminemBase]

^ I know, but there's malice in "if they don't like it, then they can get fucked"

That implies an automatic / underlying anger or dismissal if not agreed with. Which isn't an entirely respectable mindset to have.

Even though in reality, I'm depressive and everybody annoys me and I flip and debate, and get angry and a lot, but just in theory... that's a bit childish.

But yes, in so many words - B.

[J.R.]

^ I know, but there's malice in "if they don't like it, then they can get fucked"

That implies an automatic / underlying anger or dismissal if not agreed with. Which isn't an entirely respectable mindset to have.

Even though in reality, I'm depressive and everybody annoys me and I flip and debate, and get angry and a lot, but just in theory... that's a bit childish.

But yes, in so many words - B.

You remind me a lot of myself, minus the fact I don't have as much intelligence as you.

[Amaranthine]

I'm nice to people if I like them, and if I don't like them then I just ignore them. I guess that would be A.

[BigBoss]

I'm going to expand on my previous comment because...I don't want to just sound like EmBase's echo (despite our haunting similarities...not the first time I've noted that either).

My answer is:

B) Say what you want, be a total dick if you have to, and if someone doesn't like it they can get fucked.

It's not 100% that though, I have tons of elements from A, however, I never sacrifice what I have to say and if someone doesn't like it then yes, they can fuck themselves.

As much as I really fuckin hate to say this, and trust me, I hate saying it or even thinking it, but my personality reminds me a lot of Em's. Kinda like...the warped humour, the overload of sarcasm/tongue and cheek shit and the purposeful pushing of buttons when I find out a chord has been struck (but only if I'm in an argument, if something bothers a friend I won't do it).

People interpret everything I say too literally sometimes..a lot..and therefore I look like a snob sometimes, but I'm really not. If someone likes old music from the 70's, I'd likely say something such as, "Oh, so you're into the oldies like reverse pedophilia?" and instead of just seeing it as a simile, they interpret it as "you like pedophilia"

Have you heard people ask how school/work is or how you're doing? The typical, general response is just, "I'm good/great, how are you?". I don't do that, I'm usually just brutally honest - though lately I've been neutral, "Could be better, could be worse". But yeah...lol everything I say sounds like a less intelligent version of EmBase's post, damn it.

I really don't know how much further to expand this...just that every friend I've made thought I was an asshole when they first met me because of..not the things I say (I'm generally quiet), but because of my monotonous facial expressions. I find it hard to just...laugh/smile at random stuff. You know how any movies or moments in class where everyone is laughing and I'm just sitting there...even if it IS funny, I'll appreciate it with maybe a smirk but it has to be left-field hilarious for me to just start laughing..or I gotta be drunk.

So without further ado, I don't know what else to say considering EmBase and I are probably the same person with severe schizophrenic traits.

/stan

[JamaicanPattlez]

I'm in the middle. I mean, before I used to be A to the max. Then I was B. Now, I like to think I'm in the middle. I mean, if I HAD to choose, I'd say B, but it's always good to be as nice as possible. It's not so cut-n'-dry.

[Slim Fiasco]

I'm leaning more towards A. I'm extremely easy-going and rarely get into any conflict, specially physical ones; matter of fact I' haven't been in a fight since age 10. I guess I mind my business too much, and I don't want to get stressed because it's rarely worth it. I often find myself in group conversations where somebody is being bad-mouthed and I hate that shit. Like, why do you have to focus on the negative so much? It's much better to look for the good in people, and in situations in general. I also hate worrying about something that's out of our hands. For example failing an exam, if you fail it you fail it, wait for the results and think about it then. And it's not like you could do anything about it anyway, so fuck it.

I may come off as an optimist, but I am a realist when it comes to understanding situations. I just choose to settle down so to say, and make the best out of bad things.

As for stating my opinion, it depends on the person I'm talking to. If he isn't someone who will dismiss anything different, I'm willing to describe my point of view; and if it's the other way around, my attitude is - "that's fine if you say so". I never change my opinion or am ashamed to say how I feel though, if someone asks me and stuff. To point out a simple example, my favorite TV show is The O.C., and if you think that that makes me girly or something, then I don't give a single fuck.

[Guess_Who]

^ LOL @ lifting your shirt I'd probably be laughing my ass off if you did that in public.

Yeah, sometimes my mouth shoots before my mind. On the bus, some guy in a wheelchair who was missing a leg like..punched me to move and I'm like, "You fuckin cunt, I thought you lost your leg and not your manners"...in retrospect, I'm still glad I said it but meh, I would have rather not looked like such an asshole.

I also am the same when you said around 15 and a half you started leaning towards B, except I was 16.5.

you make me feel like a Sister of Mercy, I would be unable to say that.


About the question be nice or not ? I just use my brain. you can't plan things like that. Is not about being always good or being all badass or how you want to say it.
Basically I say what i want, but i know where is the limit. I try not to offend other people if I have no real reasson.

[Kill You]

As much as I really fuckin hate to say this, and trust me, I hate saying it or even thinking it, but my personality reminds me a lot of Em's. Kinda like...the warped humour, the overload of sarcasm/tongue and cheek shit and the purposeful pushing of buttons when I find out a chord has been struck (but only if I'm in an argument, if something bothers a friend I won't do it).

Don't feel bad, I'm kinda the same way lol. Some of the things I do or say are just because I'm trying to push people's buttons...I love pissing people off. I got a warped sense of humor as well, I laugh at fucked up shit and I'm overly sarcastic 24/7 lol. Idk it's just how some of us are. Some of us enjoy that shit.

[J.R.]

As much as I really fuckin hate to say this, and trust me, I hate saying it or even thinking it, but my personality reminds me a lot of Em's. Kinda like...the warped humour, the overload of sarcasm/tongue and cheek shit and the purposeful pushing of buttons when I find out a chord has been struck (but only if I'm in an argument, if something bothers a friend I won't do it).

Don't feel bad, I'm kinda the same way lol. Some of the things I do or say are just because I'm trying to push people's buttons...I love pissing people off. I got a warped sense of humor as well, I laugh at fucked up shit and I'm overly sarcastic 24/7 lol. Idk it's just how some of us are. Some of us enjoy that shit.

Same/:

[J.R.]

It seems like everyone on this thread has that type of attitude/sense of humor.

Yup. I can't fix it.

[Kez]

B.

[Trimss]

People who know me are used to my humor. Like I can my (girl) friends fat and they'd react cool.