Cursing

[CrashBand]

What made me think of this topic was that someone at a party in my flat wrote a very large 'CUNT' on one of our walls and one of the flatmates wanted it down. Not because of the graffiti (as there was other writing in other parts of the house) but because of the profanity.

Do you think it is okay to swear?

Now a lot of people will say yes because I can safely assume the majority of the forum swears pretty freely. But do you think it should be okay to swear in front of a teacher, a mother in law, a grandma?
Do you think these people should get offended.

Another point, if I said fuck or cunt in front of my grandma she would undoubtedly get offended. Does that mean I shouldn't swear in front of her? Would you want me swearing in front of your grandma?

I have a view on this but would like to see others first.

Discuss

[ShAdYTiLIDie]

IMO the answer is no, you shouldnt curse at/to somebody that is much older than you, not your friend, or a mom, aunt, uncle, grandparent Old people find cursing pretty offensive! The only time I swear at my parents is when I get extremely mad( which usually ends up in ass beating, or in the most recent case, $200 debt! lol) But if I'm in public and man or woman older than 30 is in my general area I will refrain from cursing at all. But other than that, like if Im hanging with my friends or at school or something like that I will cuss pretty freely! Its all in how you view it.

[Amaranthine]

IMO the answer is no, you shouldnt curse at/to somebody that is much older than you, not your friend, or a mom, aunt, uncle, grandparent Old people find cursing pretty offensive! The only time I swear at my parents is when I get extremely mad( which usually ends up in ass beating, or in the most recent case, $200 debt! lol) But if I'm in public and man or woman older than 30 is in my general area I will refrain from cursing at all. But other than that, like if Im hanging with my friends or at school or something like that I will cuss pretty freely! Its all in how you view it.

Pretty much this. I hold my tongue around anyone who's more than a few years older than me, or anyone related to me who isn't my brother. I don't see cursing as wrong or as a problem, I see it as more of a courtesy thing. I feel like it's rude to curse when people who might be uncomfortable with it are around, so I don't do it out of respect for them. It's not like it takes any effort to censor myself a little, it's not a great sacrifice.

[DanWS]

We all have the right to freedom of speech. Whether it's morally right to swear or not depends on the situation. Obviously swearing can be used in an offensive fashion, but that doesn't mean it's morally wrong to do so. If someone has been a cunt, then it's within your right, both from a legal and moral standpoint, to call them a cunt.

At the end of the day we have curse words in our vocab because they allow us express emotions which can't really be expressed as well by using non-curse words. You can't tell me any other word in the English dictionary connotes the passion/frustration/anger/humor that the word "fucking" can do when used in the right context. Some people like to say that means a lack of creativity on the part of whoever is swearing, which is of course absolute nonsense. Using swear words in normal conversation might offend some people, just like wearing certain clothes might offend some people. If you're swearing freely around someone that you know is offended by it then obviously by purposely offending them you're being a bit of a dick. Just like when you say/do anything offensive to anyone without good reason. But really, aside from that, tough shit... being allowed to say what we like (bar hate speech) it's one of the few benefits we have left living in a "free and open" society.

[Kill You]

What Dan said. Say what you like. It's your choice if you wish to cuss in front of a teacher or your grandmother. You just have to deal with the backlash from that.

[UofLCard]

Hey, people swear every now in then, especially when they're mad; but when people do it for the complete hell of it (no pun intended), then I just find it obscene.

[CrashBand]

We all have the right to freedom of speech. Whether it's morally right to swear or not depends on the situation. Obviously swearing can be used in an offensive fashion, but that doesn't mean it's morally wrong to do so. If someone has been a cunt, then it's within your right, both from a legal and moral standpoint, to call them a cunt.

At the end of the day we have curse words in our vocab because they allow us express emotions which can't really be expressed as well by using non-curse words. You can't tell me any other word in the English dictionary connotes the passion/frustration/anger/humor that the word "fucking" can do when used in the right context. Some people like to say that means a lack of creativity on the part of whoever is swearing, which is of course absolute nonsense. Using swear words in normal conversation might offend some people, just like wearing certain clothes might offend some people. If you're swearing freely around someone that you know is offended by it then obviously by purposely offending them you're being a bit of a dick. Just like when you say/do anything offensive to anyone without good reason. But really, aside from that, tough shit... being allowed to say what we like (bar hate speech) it's one of the few benefits we have left living in a "free and open" society.

I agree with the most of it but I feel you sort of contradict yourself. I think the clothes example was a great analogy. Some people will get offended by a women not covering every part of her body except her face and hands. That doesn't mean by not complying with this you are purposely offending them. The same goes with swearing. What I got from most of your post is that you think people shouldn't get offended by it. Then surely we should be able to freely swear in front of people even if the little old lady eavesdropping next door can't believe her ears.

I understand how words like N*gger, Jew, Faggot, Slut, Terrorist, Girly offend people. But I don't see how anyone would have a good reason to be offended by the words fuck, shit and cunt.

Like if I was to say "I had the worst fucking day today,". Why should an elderly person take offense. Just because they're still stuck in a early fucking 1900's mentality. What if that same person took the same offense in me dating a black girl. Should I stop offending them in that way also? Fuck that.

[DanWS]

I agree with the most of it but I feel you sort of contradict yourself. I think the clothes example was a great analogy. Some people will get offended by a women not covering every part of her body except her face and hands. That doesn't mean by not complying with this you are purposely offending them. The same goes with swearing.

If you consciously do something that you know will offend other people, then you're being offensive. Not necessarily wrong, but offensive; there's a key difference. If you're with someone who you know is offended by swearing, you might not be morally wrong for continuing to swear in front of them, but you're being offensive. Maybe the other person is wrong and stupid for being offended by swearing, but in the case of purposely doing it in front of someone who you know finds it offensive, you're consciously offending the other person. Even in the case of Iranian women who are not allowed to show their skin, to westerners it seems ridiculous that a woman baring skin could cause offence but in the theocratic regime of Iran it would be deemed so and any woman who chose to bare their skin would know that they would be offending people.

[CrashBand]

If you consciously do something that you know will offend other people, then you're being offensive. Not necessarily wrong, but offensive; there's a key difference. If you're with someone who you know is offended by swearing, you might not be morally wrong for continuing to swear in front of them, but you're being offensive. Maybe the other person is wrong and stupid for being offended by swearing, but in the case of purposely doing it in front of someone who you know finds it offensive, you're consciously offending the other person. Even in the case of Iranian women who are not allowed to show their skin, to westerners it seems ridiculous that a woman baring skin could cause offence but in the theocratic regime of Iran it would be deemed so and any woman who chose to bare their skin would know that they would be offending people.

Well yes, if it's offending people then it is offensive.

And if you are aware they find it offensive then you are consciously being offensive.

But I don't see your point. As you said, if swearing isn't necessarily wrong then this person theoretically not be offended. The same way as if you knew someone was offended by the word purple or by not wearing full body clothing or by black people . You would be consciously offending this person by saying the word purple or dressing this way or being black. That doesn't mean you should not do these thing or that person should be offended.

So I don't think you should have to bite you're tongue when swearing.

[DanWS]

Well yes, if it's offending people then it is offensive.

And if you are aware they find it offensive then you are consciously being offensive.

But I don't see your point.

How do you not see my point? You said in your last post "That doesn't mean by not complying with this you are purposely offending them." The point I'm making is that you are purposely offending them, and you just agreed with me, lol.

The same way as if you knew someone was offended by the word purple or by not wearing full body clothing or by black people . You would be consciously offending this person by saying the word purple or dressing this way or being black. That doesn't mean you should not do these thing or that person should be offended.

Well if your beliefs are strong enough and you have good reasons to purposely offend people, then go ahead. Like I said in my previous post, the question of whether swearing is morally right or wrong, is different from your decision to offend other people or not. It seems that you're saying we should be able to do what we like when it comes to swearing or how we dress, regardless of whether it causes offence or not. I think that's partly the right attitude, but there is always a line to be crossed and there comes a point when you have to be somewhat considerate to other people. Otherwise society would be like the wild west. Don't get me wrong, I'm all for freedom and freedom of speech, but if I was in a room with a relative or friend who I knew was offended by cursing then unless I had a good reason not to, I'd tone it down a little just because I'm not inconsiderate and I know that I would feel like a prick if I was consciously offending someone repeatedly.

This is actually a much greater argument than cursing and it's difficult to not get into broader topics of religion, race, philosophy and other things which are deemed offensive in different parts of the world. The whole basis of society comes into play here tbh.

[J.R.]

I just see it as a respect thing. If someone doesn't like it and I respect them or give a shit, I won't cuss.

[CrashBand]

How do you not see my point? You said in your last post "That doesn't mean by not complying with this you are purposely offending them." The point I'm making is that you are purposely offending them, and you just agreed with me, lol.

No not at all, lol. To be purposefully offending someone you have to have the intention to offend them. There is a difference between purposely offending someone and consciously offending someone. I am not cursing with the reason to purposefully offend people. The same way I'm not dating a girl from a different race with the reason to purposefully offend racists.

Well if your beliefs are strong enough and you have good reasons to purposely offend people, then go ahead. Like I said in my previous post, the question of whether swearing is morally right or wrong, is different from your decision to offend other people or not. It seems that you're saying we should be able to do what we like when it comes to swearing or how we dress, regardless of whether it causes offence or not. I think that's partly the right attitude, but there is always a line to be crossed and there comes a point when you have to be somewhat considerate to other people. Otherwise society would be like the wild west. Don't get me wrong, I'm all for freedom and freedom of speech, but if I was in a room with a relative or friend who I knew was offended by cursing then unless I had a good reason not to, I'd tone it down a little just because I'm not inconsiderate and I know that I would feel like a prick if I was consciously offending someone repeatedly.

This is actually a much greater argument than cursing and it's difficult to not get into broader topics of religion, race, philosophy and other things which are deemed offensive in different parts of the world. The whole basis of society comes into play here tbh.

Well yes, unfortunately I am hypocritical when it comes to this and tone it down also but I still feel people don't have a good reason to be offended by those words.

So I don't feel people should be offended by the word fuck. Therefore why should someone have to tone it down if they have no good reason to take offence.

[DanWS]

No not at all, lol. To be purposefully offending someone you have to have the intention to offend them. There is a difference between purposely offending someone and consciously offending someone. I am not cursing with the reason to purposefully offend people. The same way I'm not dating a girl from a different race with the reason to purposefully offend racists.

Come on, consciously offending someone and purposely offending someone are practically the same thing. If I'm consciously offending someone by my swearing it's not like I can go "well, im conscious that i'm offending them, but i'm not doing it on purpose" lol. That's just a cop out. I might consciously be raping a bitch, does that mean I can say "well i wasn't purposely offending you, I just think that rape is okay"?

Now you're probably gonna say "well that is completely different", and yes it is a far more extreme example, but where does the line get drawn? How about farting, if I've had a curry for dinner and I'm in a room full of strangers can I stink out the whole room and say "wellllll, yknow I was consciously aware that I'd be stinking the place out and pissing everyone off, but I wasnt purposely offending anyone - I just think that its okay so I'll do it!"

So I don't feel people should be offended by the word fuck. Therefore why should someone have to tone it down if they have no good reason to take offence.

Well lol, that's fine that you don't think people should be offended. I don't find cursing offensive either and unless someone I'm in the company of tells me they're offended by it I'll swear freely. But that's not the point. The point is that there are people who are offended by it, but from your last sentence it appears that you've already made the decision that nobody could have a good reason for being offended by it, which is a narrow minded thing to say. In that case maybe in my eyes the bitch I raped in paragraph one didn't have a good reason to be offended so I shouldn't have to tone down my raping, should I?

[CrashBand]

Come on, consciously offending someone and purposely offending someone are practically the same thing. If I'm consciously offending someone by my swearing it's not like I can go "well, im conscious that i'm offending them, but i'm not doing it on purpose" lol. That's just a cop out. I might consciously be raping a bitch, does that mean I can say "well i wasn't purposely offending you, I just think that rape is okay"?

This isn't a fair example at all. A rape can obviously be justified as being offensive as can racism, as can sexism, as can straight out insulting someone.

I don't think swearing can be justified to be offensive. Neither can using the word purple, neither can not covering the face of a female, neither can being a different race.

Also there is a problem with the semantics of "purposely offending" someone. It means you are doing something with the intentions to offend someone. I am not swearing with the intention to offend people, hell I wish they weren't offended

Well lol, that's fine that you don't think people should be offended. I don't find cursing offensive either and unless someone I'm in the company of tells me they're offended by it I'll swear freely. But that's not the point. The point is that there are people who are offended by it, but from your last sentence it appears that you've already made the decision that nobody could have a good reason for being offended by it, which is a narrow minded thing to say. In that case maybe in my eyes the bitch I raped in paragraph one didn't have a good reason to be offended so I shouldn't have to tone down my raping, should I?

And yes. I don't think people should be offended by it. It isn't narrow minded at all. As soon as I'm given good reason as to think swearing should be offensive then I am happy to reconsider.

[DanWS]

Also there is a problem with the semantics of "purposely offending" someone. It means you are doing something with the intentions to offend someone. I am not swearing with the intention to offend people, hell I wish they weren't offended

Well you might not be trying to insult them, but if you're aware that you're offending them and are continuing to do so, that shows a certain lack of respect, no? Again, where is the line drawn? Swearing, farting, picking your nose?

I don't think swearing can be justified to be offensive. Neither can using the word purple, neither can not covering the face of a female, neither can being a different race.

The conversation we're having is a lot deeper than what we personally believe, though. We're talking about consciously offending someone by doing something that we don't personally find offensive. I think it's silly to be offended by swearing, but I wouldn't wanna be continually offending someone I respected. Would you?