You will get caught (long read)

[Arrinef]

So im at work today, and this bankrobber comes in. I knew he was gonna try and pull something stupid even before he went to the teller. Let me explain why, this dude comes in wearing a black cap, black jacket (in the summer) and black jeans.

Keep in mind when bank security guards get certified, we go through classes and training, plus we have this handbook that pretty much goes in detail on all types of robbers, and what they wear down to how they act. The manual is based on all bank robberies from 1935 to 2007. So we have a general idea on what to look for, need be. Now we never get masked robbers with guns or anything, they rarely happen, its just movie type shit.

So yeah, this dude comes in all black, with a big envelope and a book. He goes to the teller and withdrawls cash, he then secretly tells the teller to put in an extra $250 in the envelope laying down, as to not make the envelope bulge. In situations like that, the tellers are trained to comply. Now most banks now a days took away the red button from under the counter, by replacing it with a button on the floor, so they can step on it without looking too obvious. As soon as the button is pressed, it sends my radio a beep that only the guards can hear through our headsets.

I laugh cause i knew this prick was gonna pull some shit like that, so as i start to get closer, he see me and my partners popping out of no where. He then finishes up, and walks to the lobby. We dont get him yet, we're cruel mother fuckers, and like to stretch the scenarios. So the guy is sittin in the lobby drinking coffee and "reading" the book he has in his hands.

The fucker waits till the bank almost closes to try and leave, which by that time i already got my men standing at both exits.

So this dude knows he's screwed, and tries to leave anyway. So my partner and i confront him. I tell him, "hey sir why dont you follow me to my office, i wanna show you something" By that time the dude is all embarassed, and says he did nothing wrong. This dude look like he was about to shit his pants. So he's in the main office, i sit him down. I said why dont we not waste our time, give me the money, and i'll just have you arrested. Or you can lie, not give me the envelope personally, and i'll slap on some good charges on you to make sure you stay nice and warm in jail. So the dude confesses, saying he needed child support money. I didnt feel for him, he could have gotten some loans, sold some shit, or maybe even sucked some dick for cash. But dont scare the tellers, and try to rob from us.

But dont come into my bank, and waste my time. So i cuffed him, had the local cops come in, i signed the report, he was booked and taken away. Now they dont tell us what happens to the perpetrators later, i could care less, as long as they take the fucker. And that my friends, is a class A bank robbery.

And i felt i had to share this with you, as this is the only sorta-exciting shit that goes on at work.

[Weather Man]

Dam that sucks feel sorry for the guy, but hey he fucked him self, nice work I would have probably felt sorry but I know I would have done the same thing you did..

- Edit

I can relate to this, I was at wal-mart one day & I wanted to get some headphones without looking around to seeing if anybody was looking at me, I was walking towards the cash register i bought some chips and a drink though ( but I didn't buy the headphones. ).. So after I bought my chips and drink I started walking towards the exit of the store and this security guy that works there tap me on the back and was like excuse me can you come with me and I was like oh fuck and he took me the back and he said hand over the headphones or we will call the cops so I gave him the headphones and he said why did you steal these and I was like I wanted some headphones ... & So in my mind I'm just still thinking like fuck man, I actually needed to get the headphones for this girl because I said I told her I have some extra headphones, but I got busted and the people now know my face at that wal-mart but the cops didn't come he just told me I wasn't welcomed back at that wal-mart but he did call my parents and when I got home I was fucked by them & myself.... So, I guess I learned my lesson, & hopefully that guy did but yeah shit happens...

[Arrinef]

I didnt feel for him, he could have gotten some loans, sold some shit, or maybe even sucked some dick for cash. But dont scare the tellers, and try to rob from us.

lmaooo

Good story though, sounds...intense

yeah man, he could have done a ton of other shit to the raise money, but instead he tried to be all hard and steal an extra 250.

[fopower]

wow, that is a very cool story . I can't believe he would do that for just $250

[Arrinef]

wow, that is a very cool story . I can't believe he would do that for just $250

we've had worse, once there was this one guy who attempted to rob us of 20 dollars in quarters. He withdrawled money, left the bank and came back saying he was short 20 bucks and we owed him.

[Solace]

Awesome read, lmfao you owned him

[Arrinef]

Dam that sucks feel sorry for the guy, but hey he fucked him self, nice work I would have probably felt sorry but I know I would have done the same thing you did..

- Edit

I can relate to this, I was at wal-mart one day & I wanted to get some headphones without looking around to seeing if anybody was looking at me, I was walking towards the cash register i bought some chips and a drink though ( but I didn't buy the headphones. ).. So after I bought my chips and drink I started walking towards the exit of the store and this security guy that works there tap me on the back and was like excuse me can you come with me and I was like oh fuck and he took me the back and he said hand over the headphones or we will call the cops so I gave him the headphones and he said why did you steal these and I was like I wanted some headphones ... & So in my mind I'm just still thinking like fuck man, I actually needed to get the headphones for this girl because I said I told her I have some extra headphones, but I got busted and the people now know my face at that wal-mart but the cops didn't come he just told me I wasn't welcomed back at that wal-mart but he did call my parents and when I got home I was fucked by them & myself.... So, I guess I learned my lesson, & hopefully that guy did but yeah shit happens...

damn dude, when i was 18 i had a loss prevention job at target. Though i only caught chicks stealing eyeliner and mascara and kids stealing the occasional toy. But yeah, in a big store like walmart, they got cameras everywhere. But its cool we all do stupid shit when were young.

[Weather Man]

Dam that sucks feel sorry for the guy, but hey he fucked him self, nice work I would have probably felt sorry but I know I would have done the same thing you did..

- Edit

I can relate to this, I was at wal-mart one day & I wanted to get some headphones without looking around to seeing if anybody was looking at me, I was walking towards the cash register i bought some chips and a drink though ( but I didn't buy the headphones. ).. So after I bought my chips and drink I started walking towards the exit of the store and this security guy that works there tap me on the back and was like excuse me can you come with me and I was like oh fuck and he took me the back and he said hand over the headphones or we will call the cops so I gave him the headphones and he said why did you steal these and I was like I wanted some headphones ... & So in my mind I'm just still thinking like fuck man, I actually needed to get the headphones for this girl because I said I told her I have some extra headphones, but I got busted and the people now know my face at that wal-mart but the cops didn't come he just told me I wasn't welcomed back at that wal-mart but he did call my parents and when I got home I was fucked by them & myself.... So, I guess I learned my lesson, & hopefully that guy did but yeah shit happens...

damn dude, when i was 18 i had a loss prevention job at target. Though i only caught chicks stealing eyeliner and mascara and kids stealing the occasional toy. But yeah, in a big store like walmart, they got cameras everywhere. But its cool we all do stupid shit when were young.

Word..

[Kez]

You sound like you have a pretty badass job

[Arrinef]

You sound like you have a pretty badass job

i mean, it actually isnt. Aside with cool shit like this, its actually pretty boring, same routine daily. Its only every once in awhile we get the occasional drunk, or angry mom. Though the only perk is the pay.