My real dad may be living very close to me

[Atone]

I hate my fucking dad, but I do need to contact him for something very important. I looked him up and found an address with an approximate age around the same as my dad. But I haven't called yet. He's done so much fucked up shit I don't even know if I could speak coherently. I even found out that when I was in college, he only lived less than a mile away from my campus. Never made contact.

I'v always tried to ignore the entire thing when growing up, i even had a girlfriend who demanded to know about what ahppened and wanted me to find out more because she was related to ppl with the last name of Hughes (no we never fucked), we broke up becuase i refused to want to know any info about my real dad

but last night i was on skype with my friend who just found her real mom, so i decided to do some research, just to see if maybe my real dad was still in jail or dead by now, knowing he was a drug addict back then i thought maybe his life got worse, but now thati know there is 2 ppl with his name, and same age, living in the same city as me, it really creeped me out, cuz it had me thinking, what if he is trying to find me, and ends up finding me at work, or we bump into each other at Wal-Mart, idk what the fuck i would say, and i'm pretty sure the old me would come out and i'd end up beating his ass (i'v had strong anger issues in my past)

hopefully none of these 2 ppl are my real dad and it all just turns out to be a coincidence,

[BigBoss]

remember how em always says stuff like "dad u abandoned me wah" and stuff like that? the usually stuff he talks about when he talks about his dad...

but also rememebr that article that came up (somewhere on here, idk whre but i saw it on TR somewhere) that pretty much showed his dad's side? and apparently his mom got a restrainign order and shit like that so his dad really couldnt see him, like it wasnt his fault...

now idk if it was true or not, but if it was, that prooves that therees ALWAYS another side to a story

[trinell05]

I feel like, in a situation like that with a restraining order, I'd rather go to jail trying to see my son than to just pussy out and disappear. My uncle is going through the same thing with the mother of his children. She has a case on him, plus a restraining order. Does that stop him from trying to see his children as much as possible? Hell no. He came over on Thanksgiving and those kids RAN to him. I'm sorry, I just feel like love should be above all.

Now my dad can just suck my invisible dick and die for not even trying to come to my college graduation. But then again, had I not thrown myself into books in order to block out the horrible shit he did to my family while growing up, I probably wouldn't have had the motivation to go to college, so I guess we're even. That fucking guy.

[Atone]

My mom never got any tyoe of restraining order tho, and the way i feel about it is that i made it 24 years without needing him in my life, why should i let it change now? my mom had her reasons of not wanting him around, the guy i concider my dad now, the one that was there when i got kidnapped, and has been there for me whenever i needed him, has been in my life for all of the 24 years, i'm not going to bring some guy from my mothers past back into the picture, that would be very disrespectful to my mom.

and if my real dad is capeable of kidnapping me back then, and being on drugs like he was, than who knows what else he has done, what if he does find me, and i did hang with him, and out of pure revenge against my mom, he decides to take her son away and murder me?

due to the fact that i'v had alot of ppl from my past turn their back on me, and that i'v had ppl actually try to kill me, it's alot harder for me to trust ppl now, my friends see it when we hang, i'm always jumpy and keeping a close eye on everybody,

idk, it would be nice to know if i had a brother or sister out there, but at the same time, i don't wan the drama that would be involved.

[Sam.]

This is so sad.