The Legend of James R.

[James R.]

• James R uses pepper spray to spice up his steaks.

• James R once kicked someone so hard that his foot broke the speed of light, went back in time, and killed Amelia Earhart while she was flying over the Pacific Ocean.

• The Great Wall of China was originally created to keep James R from having sex with all the relatively attractive women. It failed miserably.

• Most people have 23 pairs of chromosomes. James R has 72... and they're all poisonous.

• James R can win a game of Connect Four in only three moves.

• James R once ate three 72 oz. steaks in one hour. He spent the first 45 minutes having sex with his waitress.

• James R is the only man to ever defeat a brick wall in a game of tennis.

• A Handicapped parking sign does not signify that this spot is for handicapped people. It is actually in fact a warning, that the spot belongs to James R and that you will be handicapped if you park there.

• If you spell James R in Scrabble, you win... forever.

• James R has two speeds: Walk and Kill.

• Someone once tried to tell James R that roundhouse kicks aren't the best way to kick someone. This has been recorded by historians as the worst mistake anyone has ever made.

• Contrary to popular belief, America is not a democracy, it is a Jamestatorship.

• Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles is based on a true story: James R once swallowed a turtle whole, and when he crapped it out, the turtle was six feet tall and had learned karate.

• James R is not hung like a horse... horses are hung like James R.

• In the Bible, Jesus turned water into wine. But then James R turned that wine into beer.

• Time waits for no man… unless that man is James R.

• James R discovered a new theory of relativity involving multiple universes in which James R is even more badass than in this one. When it was discovered by Albert Einstein and made public, James R roundhouse-kicked him in the face… we know Albert Einstein today as Stephen Hawking.

• The James R military unit was not used in the game Civilization 4, because a single James could defeat the entire combined nations of the world in one turn.

• In an average living room there are 1,242 objects James R could use to kill you, including the room itself.

• According to the Encyclopedia Brittanica, the Native American "Trail of Tears" has been redefined as anywhere that James R walks.

• When James R goes to donate blood, he declines the syringe, and instead requests a hand gun and a bucket.

• James R once challenged Lance Armstrong to a "Who has more testicles?" contest. James R won by 5.

[Solace]

Now wasn't that creative?

[<Stiiccy>]

oh and dont foget about ur 7 foot long penis..and how you defeated 15 terrorsit with it

[Solace]

oh and dont foget about ur 7 foot long penis..and how you defeated 15 terrorsit with it

So THATS where Sajjad went.

[<Stiiccy>]

oh and dont foget about ur 7 foot long penis..and how you defeated 15 terrorsit with it

So THATS where Sajjad went.

dont tell a soul

[James R.]

oh and dont foget about ur 7 foot long penis..and how you defeated 15 terrorsit with it

So THATS where Sajjad went.

Hahahahaha you guys. Yooouuuu guys.

[Solace]

oh and dont foget about ur 7 foot long penis..and how you defeated 15 terrorsit with it

So THATS where Sajjad went.

Hahahahaha you guys. Yooouuuu guys.

Yeah. Us guys.

[Tash8]

that was disgusting

you forgot to mention the part of if James R. and Tash8 have sex, an milkywayquake will happen, destroying every life except that of james and tash.

[Slimm]

looks like you can almost beat chuck norris

[James R.]

looks like you can almost beat chuck norris

LMFAO psshhh he aint bout shit yo.

[Ka0t1c]

• A Handicapped parking sign does not signify that this spot is for handicapped people. It is actually in fact a warning, that the spot belongs to James R and that you will be handicapped if you park there.

one of my faves