by RainMan44 » Nov 14th, '12, 01:03
ANYONE KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT DEPERSONALIZATION OR DEREALIZATION????
Okay, long story short...about 6 days ago I had a meal at In & Out and then my chest started tightening up. My friend made a joke that I'm having a heart attack. When I searched the symptoms, I freaked the fuck out, and for a couple days thought I was going to have a heart attack. I didn't want to sleep at nights because I feared I wouldn't wake up.
Now, for about 5 days, I have been feeling like I'm dreaming. This is what DP/DR does. Like I'm in a movie. Everything looks/feels cartoonish. Shit I used to care about just don't seem as significant anymore. My HEAD FEELS SO FUCKING foggy. BEST WAY TO DESCRIBE IT, it's like I'm here physically but not mentally. Like I'm on autopilot and I'm just floating on by with life.
I know it's all in my head because dp/dr is a symptom of anxiety. But it's so fucking annoying. It's like I'm aware of stuff but don't really give a fuck about it. It's like nothing changes my mood. I'm permanently in a spaced out place. When I'm with my friends, it's like I got no excitement. I'll partake in w/e they're doing but it feels like...I'm just there. I'm just a single person and THEY are a group. I don't feel like I'm geling.
IT HAS GOTTEN BETTER though. I feel more in reality now. But that head fog won't go away. My mind is just...blank. You know when you're high/buzzed and you're watching something on TV and it just looks very animated/cartoony/vivid? That's how it is when I'm watching TV.
It's scaring the shit out of me.
Will this ever go away?
P.S, can weed be the cause of this? I've been smoking for about 4-6 days a week for the past 3 months. I'm fine when I smoke, I love it. But can this just be a result of too much weed?
Please, how do I get my old life back. I want to be myself again. It's not so terrible that I'd do something totally wacko, but it's just an uncomfortable feeling. MY BODY IS HERE, BUT MY MIND ISN'T. IT'S LIKE MY EYES ARE WHERE MY HEAD ENDS. THE REST ISN'T THERE. Lol.
:/
"This dude doing this interview wants me to spin a few,
Lyrics while I tie my tennis shoes in the nude
A romantic interlude in a livin’ room,
In an inner tube with a dude with a bit of lube
Fuck that I’m sniffin’ glue, sippin' gin & juice,
And a little bit of paint thinner with my dinner too,
You better pay me for my bars like your rent is due,
Now hurry up and finish dude before I finish you."
GOAT