Am I Screwed?

[GenePeer]

Soon, I may get a gig writing news articles for a local website. The problem is I've never written a news article in my life and, honestly, never read a newspaper*. To get the job, I'm supposed to be "in love with journalism" ( ). So has anyone done this before? I mean faking a passion for journalism. Any tips to writing pseudointellectual articles in less than 10 min (or more lol)? God, I wish I was EmBase now!

Oh, and I already accepted the challenge, so it's too late for my huge-ass ego to turn back.

* I read wikipedia so don't you start calling me illiterate.

[GenePeer]

Who: Me
What: Journalist (poser)
When: Starting sometime this week

oh wait... you're telling me the format

[Blu]

If by screwed you mean nailed, and by nailed you mean hammered, and by hammered you mean fucked, then yes. You are fucked.

[Alex2012]

You don't know what topics choose or don't know how write.

You wrote God and Embase in the same sentence.

[GenePeer]

My friend who's trying to hook me up quit yesterday, lol... He's also like me; Just went in for the money but has been working there for like 3 months. If I can survive for at least one month, that's all I'd need to start partying again. Being broke sucks balls!

Who, what, where, when, why and how it is then.

You don't know what topics choose or don't know how write.

You wrote God and Embase in the same sentence.

I'll start worrying about topics (which I was told is a whole other problem) after I get the job and see others in action. For now it's about the how.

EmBase is the God of writing lots of shit

[Alex2012]

When you have understood how it works.
You can post your topics in Serious Debate, and maybe find some interesting things in the posts.

Sorry I cannot help you more.