by the time you are reading this, I'm probably already dead. Eminem is long gone, hip-hop might be dead in your day and age too. And still, if that actually was the case .. if Hip-Hop actually was to fade into blackness, I wouldn't try to change it because everything happens for a reason and I believe that me singing to this forum, indeed, happened for a reason. Now, I won't be the pretentious dick right now like I usually am and say that me signing to this board made the community much better, but I do feel like I was a special part to .. this .. well .. this 'event'. As a matter of fact, it wasn't just me. It was every single one that signed up to this forum, even the ones that never posted but lurked, even the ones that never even posted once. You, no, WE, helped shape this forum, this board, this community, or simply, this family to what it is. I've seen people come, I've seen them go, just like the members before me did. I've seen people leave, that I, in some strange way, loved, admired, wanted to be like and yet, those people never meant much to me. I was always one of those guys to say that internet isn't real life, when in fact it is. It's as real as it can get, sure, some people might hide behind a profile picture, a signature, but like a wise man once said .. "Give a Man a Mask and He Will Show His True Face". On here, people have the ability to fade away, to escape from their so called "real life" where everybody knows them, where they have to adapt to a certain group, a certain culture or just a certain, well, lifestyle. On a site where nobody knows you, you can have a mask, but like the quote said, this said mask, will show you his/her true face. On here, even trolls I feel like, were them. No fabricated stuff, no people trying to change who they are so they can fit in a certain group. Nothing.
Now, you could make a case for people on here trying to fit in too, and even though I wouldn't say that this is false, it's different. On here, yeah, they might have tried to be someone else, but if they felt like they failed, they went back to being themselves, and people started to appreciate them for that. I've talked to people that have been through such a phase on this board. But I'm drifting away from what I was trying to get across ..
Kids, like I said, I'm probably dead already. You probably only found this stuff that I wrote after you read my last will, my last testament to the world. But don't get it mixed up. What I wrote for the lawyers and everybody involved, was not my last will, that was only made to satisfy certain people that want certain things out of me. This, this here is my last will. One last hoorah. Or simply ..
My final shoutout.
So, where do we start. Well, I gotta take it back to the start with something as corny as this was ..
my name is Notalius and I'm from vienna, Austria
i have been on this site since march i think but know im finally a member too
big shady fan and so on ...
i hope my english isn't too bad
Now that I look back on that, I'm realizing that I've lied. I was actually on this board much longer, it goes back to 2008 or 09, back when Menzo joined. This is the first thing I remember from that time period. Menzo signing up. For some odd reason, even though I didn't join until like 3 years later, I felt connected to him. He didn't know me, but I knew him, it's like I was finally able to meet up with a long lost friend again. I'll never forget how many times I confused him with Geno though. Great Memories.
Throughout the years I've had the chance to get to know so many people from around the world, that shared the same thing. We shared one love, and as corny (and gay, might I add) as that sounds, we shared the love for a man.
A man that we would kill for, a man that we would do anything for, and why ? I'll tell you why, because he not only defined an era, he not only inspired people, but he was always there. Think about it, how many of us grew up with listening to him and I'm not even talking about being fans of his, but rather the moments when we were several years old and remembering the beat of TRSS, My Name Is and other tracks that literally make the Stan in me feel like a little kid again, even today. I'm now close to being 20 years old, and even if Em was to die tomorrow, I know that I would always be a fan of his. If the day ever comes that I stop at least still loving the art he's put out so far, kill me. No seriously, kill me. If that ever occurred, it wouldn't show that I grew up, or moved on with my life, it would show that I went against everything that I stood for, that Em stood for. Eminem wasn't just a man, like I said, he defined a generation. And after all, he's the reason that we all signed up to this forum. He's the man that made all of this possible. He's the man, that without knowing, created ..
I'm not gonna go in depth about what Trshady meant to me, to us, since I've already done this several times, even during this shoutout. I just wanna do one more proper shoutout. I've always been complaining about people not putting in enough effort when it comes to this. Even if I was obviously joking in a way, I still felt like it was my duty to do a proper shoutout. I always wanted to mention the ones that I considered, well, my friends. Because you all made this a greater place, made me a better man and most definitely helped me in some rough stages of my life.
So this is it. The Final Curtain Call.
It all started with that infamous post by me, granted, it's not that infamous. It's just stupid and corny, but I wouldn't have it any other way since it represents me at that time, just like how this whole post will represent me right now and just like it will be my last representation to the world. In a few decades when you read this kids, I want you to know who I was when I was 19, who I've shared my life with and with whom I've created something so beautiful, words couldn't fully explain it. TRshady.
The first few days were rough for me on the forum. I was being picked on for being the 'new' stan. At that time I felt horrible but I was soon going to realize that everybody has to go through that period, to some extent at least. Being constantly shitted on made me think, maybe I've made a mistake. Maybe, maybe I shouldn't have signed up for this stuff. If it wasn't for one man at that time telling me that this is normal for a new guy to get picked on, I would have left and never been on this great ride.
That man was TRex.
Man, I don't even know if you remember all of that, but you are the reason why I'm still here, why I'm still writing this, why I'm shedding a tear right now. I wanna thank you for it. After that you always seemed to be the funny guy, the one that doesn't even have to try. He's naturally funny. I could go on and on about you the whole day, though, we both wouldn't have time for that. Rex. I just wanna tell you. Thank You.
Fast forward, I'm slowly getting my feet wet. People are starting to get nicer to me with each day passing. Until, people started to think I was gay lmao.
You thought I forgot about that ? Though, people would take that as an insult, for me, it even confirmed that staying on TR was the right thing. Because that had me laugh for minutes and minutes. I still giggle every time I think about it. You fucking faggot. On the real though, we are from two countries that hate each other, but politics should not shape people, and it damn sure didn't shape or change you. You were always fair to me and for that, thank you.
You know who else thought I was gay ?
That ugly, kinky, smelly, jelly little faggot. Or the short version. Sajn.
Man, you are one of the greatest of all time. Even after TR left you with a forum that you are not really able to work on, you pulled through. And here we are, the shelter is finished and we are running it together. Forget about Menzo, he can suck it. It's been a great ride, in fact, scratch that, the ride has just begun. On a side note, do you remember back when I was Tha God lmao .. Good times .. Good times. Really though, I love you man and again, congrats on your marriage. So, who else do we have here. Oh yeah, Menzo.
Already said everything I wanted to get off of my chest when it comes to you in the first or second paragraph. One thing I gotta add though. I miss every moment that you, eva, charlotte, rolly, CP, Raul, myself and many more had on that Skype chat. It was indeed great. And the swapping of our leg pictures will always be one of the most memorable things to me. You are the worst admin though.
Lets get to the man that gave me 4 warnings
Fuck you. K ? Bye.
Go get em'. Get that girl. You will need her. I love you though
You know, I could talk about each member individually, but that would take to much of your and my time. You all know who you are, you all know what you mean to me. And trust me, if you think I've forgotten you, you are wrong, I remember all of you and have ya'll on my mind, just like my #1 stan, xYnDart.
I gotta shoutout 2 more members that mean a lot to me. For one ..
The man, the myth, the faggot. CP. Without a doubt, the funniest person on TR. You've always been that and you'll always be. We still keep in contact a lot and I hope it'll never stop. There are some things I don't want to end, and one thing is your dick. (kids, I know that was an inapproriate joke but keep in mind, I was only 19). But for real, you are one of the goats.
To finish this off though, I have to shoutout one more guy. A guy that I would have done everything for. A guy that I would have banned the whole forum for. I know that I was joking about gay stuff all the time, but this is literally the only guy I would turn gay for. Or, at least was until he snitched on us.
You know, I was one of the guys that was pissed as fuck, but when you hit me up on Skype again and apologized, man, I don't know, everything came back again. The memories we've shared, the gifs, the shoutouts, the days talking to each other, the label game, Emma, everything. Everything came back. And all of a sudden, that disappointment was gone. I felt like I got my best friend back. I got Rolly back. And I ain't giving him away again.
So one last time ..
You're the blonde hair to my slim shady.
You're the thorns to my rose.
You're the pen to my paper.
You're the pencil to my sharpener.
You're the burning gas to my photons.
You're the glue to my glitter.
You're the microwave to my crappy dinner.
You're the ink to my sharpie.
You're the paper to my printer.
You're the server to my website.
You're the gun to my hot glue.
You're the water to my ice cube tray.
You're the scars to my body.
You're the blood to my veins.
You're the happy faic to my sad faic.
You're the chocolate to my hot. lol
You're the CD to my drive.
Without you there is no noddy.
Without all of you there is no noddy.
TRshady, the member, thank you for all of this. Will never forget this ride.
By the way, it wouldn't feel right without mentioning classtheking .. hah
So kids, this is it, the last thing you will hear, read, see from me. I wanted to share this with you, my life at the time. Everything I've experienced, everything I've witnessed and everything I've shared with people from all around the globe. And this kids, is only the short version. There are many more instances where we laughed, cried and hated each other. But at the end of the day, we all were and will forever stay a family.
This is what I was trying to get across. No matter how far away I am from you kids, I will always be there, I will always love you. Just like I know that the members from TR do. We love each other.
I learned a lot from this community. About friendships, family and life itself. This forum changed my life. And I hope it can somehow have an impact on yours too.
So let me ask you kids, am I worth it ? Did I put enough work in ?