So I Got This Friend

[James R.]

Who's about to marry his girl. He's 19 and she's 18. Not only that, but the bitch has GOT to be the ugliest mother fucker in the god damn world. I mean she looks like Chunk from The Goonies if he had a kid with Jason and was dropped into a Krispy Kreme factory and was raised by sloths. Obese sloths I mean.

She's fucked. She's like 5'6" and has to be like 180 pounds. I know this because I'm 5'8" and like 180-190 and she thought it'd be cute to jump on my back one day and dear god my knees literally almost completely buckled. After weight training for 6 months I couldn't even lift her fuckin ass. I forget why I was trying to, but I hurt my back for like a week trying.

Now my friend; he's this average looking, 5'11", 145 pound white kid with red hair. He looks like Ron Weasly if I've ever seen him. They fuck. Imagine that for a second. They fuck. They have intercourse.

So they're getting married in May. Been together like 2 and a half yrs I think, but their relationship blows. She's already cheated on him. Their sex life CAN'T be good. I mean shit, she can probably only do missionary with her fat ass. And I mean, when you're fucking an ugly chick then it HAS to be easy to wonder what it'd be like to fuck an in shape, hot girl. I mean come on.

But yeah. I was supposed to be the best man, but now I'm designing their matching tattoos. The only upside to this whole thing is that I'm going to be possibly drunk at a reception with possibly some of her kind of average looking friends that will seem more and more acceptable as the night goes on and my blood and vision get more and more fucked with alcohol.

Thought you'd wanna be updated in the world of James

[ThomasAguanis]

Have you talked to your friend about it?

[Emadyville]

well the ugly part is ok...not always about looks

but fuck a cheating ugly bitch

Yeah I agree with Chet, but this does sound really fucked up, kinda young too but hey whatever floats your boat, overall I found it to be a fucked up story until the end, good luck with that James

[James R.]

Have you talked to your friend about it?

Yeah we almost stopped being friends because I told him how I thought he was being an idiot. Now just nothing I say in regards to the situation matters. I mean beyond the fact that she's fucked on the inside and out I've given him reason after reason why this is dumb. They were originally going to wait until he was outta school (she did some culinary school thing that was like 18 months) in 2011. Then it was 2010. And now it's May.

well the ugly part is ok...not always about looks

but fuck a cheating ugly bitch

Yeah I didn't focus on the fact that she didn't have ONE attractive feature about her until she cheated on my best friend with a guy she worked with at a grocery store that at the time was homeless and wearing clothes that were literally 4 sizes too big.

[ThomasAguanis]

That's fucked up. It's even more fucked up because she cheated on him before with Mr. paper or plastic, I'm homeless and wear over-sized clothes. Seems your friend needs a reality check, plus I think they're too young. They should wait until they're both out of school. Maybe try to go out with him and get him to find someone else, but that would be hard to do.

[James R.]

^^^ haha ok man I get you now

Yeah I'm all about hot girls, but when it's someone else I'm more about happiness and their well being.

That's fucked up. It's even more fucked up because she cheated on him before with Mr. paper or plastic, I'm homeless and wear over-sized clothes. Seems your friend needs a reality check, plus I think they're too young. They should wait until they're both out of school. Maybe try to go out with him and get him to find someone else, but that would be hard to do.

I completely agree with you. They are too young. He actually asked me if he should or shouldn't do this about a week ago (forgot until now) and I told him that if they were so sure about it then it wouldn't matter if they waited another 2-4 yrs. All it would do is make their bond stronger and/or give them time to realize if it's actually the right decision. Then he tells me they're doing it in May. He said "I think I just have the jitters" to which I replied "No fucking shit. You're 19 and NO 19 yr old is ready to be married."

I've tried everything though. Showing him how shit of a person she is, introducing him to more attracting (inside and out) women, introducing him to girls that had similar physical attributes but better personalities, taking him to enjoy the night life a little, but he loves her. As stupid as that may be on his part, he's going to be faithful to her until they're either dead or she completely screws him over.

I really hope someone on this board will find me and MURDER me if I ever start pulling some shit like this.

[theJFKshow]

James we all know you are talking about yourself and there is no 'friend' in this situation

[bom-bom]

James we all know you are talking about yourself and there is no 'friend' in this situation

hahahahahah, good one

hmm i think they are too young to get married, i mean, 18 and 19 years old, im almost 18 and i cant see myself married, they are way too young, they should think about it, like u sayd James if they are so sure about it, why dont they wait some years? it will be the same.
In life u gotta experience different things before u know what u wanna do, when ure 18 u havent lived that all, i think ure not mature at all to make decissiones like getting married, i mean, ure going to be with that person for the rest of ur life. Moreover, when the girl has cheated on him, i mean, didnt he care about it?? if i were u i would try to convince him to wait, to realize if he really wants to make that step. What does getting married means?? i mean u can act with ur gf/bf like if u were married when u arent married. u can life with ur partner and when ure sure that he/she is the person of ur life, thats when u get married
Tell him to wait until he's outta skool and he has job,thats when his life is going ot be more stable and thats the righ moment to take decissions like getting married imo

[heva]

That is fucked up, I got 2 friends already married from school too..1 already has baby..and I am 20 y/o!

[bom-bom]

2 of my old classmates have alredy been father/mother
the girl got pregnant had the baby like 1 year ago, and a guy found out that he was going to be a father when the girl was 5 moths pregnant, i saw him the other day with the baby
they've never been my friends, just classmates but..i was so fucking shocked when i heard about it

[heva]

well if you got baby comin it makes sense,you got to clean your own shit, but if someone wants to get married just cuz he loves his girlfriend..you got to be really desperate

[James R.]

James we all know you are talking about yourself and there is no 'friend' in this situation

*drop kicks you*
shut your ho ass up


@ Bom-bom- Well I completely agree. And I'll try the whole "you haven't experienced anything" argument today, but I'm doubtful it'll have any real effect. When she cheated she claims they only made out and a little bit of other stuff or smtn like that, but I don't believe her at all. And he didn't until "he got tired of fighting" and "realized he should trust her" which COMPLETELY blew my mind seeing as how she just ruined the trust in the relationship. But yeah they were gettin an apartment together and now they're just living with her parents. Which is just completely fucked. I swear to god he didn't used to be a retard. He was a cool, smart guy. No clue what happened.

[Sophie]

He was a cool, smart guy. No clue what happened.

He met her by the sounds of it. Or, he fell in love.

[ThomasAguanis]

When she cheated she claims they only made out and a little bit of other stuff or smtn like that, but I don't believe her at all. And he didn't until "he got tired of fighting" and "realized he should trust her" which COMPLETELY blew my mind seeing as how she just ruined the trust in the relationship.

That blows my mind too. There shouldn't be any trust left, at least in my opinion. Seems he is totally in love with this girl and thinks she can do no wrong, even if it means hurting him and their relationship.

[James R.]

Word Mr. Aguanis

@ Tru, yeah you're probably right. I've pretty much come to the cold realization that nothing I say is going to make a difference *sighs* Thankfully he's not throwing away his future. As of now he's still going to school and everything, so I'm commending him for that much. I dunno. I'll just take your advice. Go to the wedding (or at least the reception), and maybe get a hook up or smtn.