I don't think it's a matter of if they would have murdered Eminem or not. It's just how he felt at the time, at that point in his career. That it would have fucked up his career if he were to go at whoever was big, just for the point of them buzzing at that period of time, cause he was jealous.
I went away I guess to open up some lanes
But there was no one who even knew what I was going through
Hatred was flowing through my veins
On the verge of going insane
I almost made a song dissin Lil Wayne
It's like I was jealous of him cause the attention he was gettin'
I felt horrible about myself
He was spittin and I wasn't
Anyone who was buzzin back then coulda got it
Almost went at Kanye too
God it feels like im goin' psychotic
Thank god that I didn't do it
I would of had my ass handed to me
And I knew it but proof wasn't here to see me through it
Im in the booth poppin another pill tryna talk myself into it
Are you stupid? You gon' start dissin people for no reason?
Especially when you can't even write a decent punchline even
You're lying to yourself, you're slowly dying, you're denying
Your health is declining with your self esteem, you're crying out for help
Also, when I hear the whole thing -note the bold.. Must just be me, but I don't think Eminem means he would have just had his ass handed to him by a battle between them, strictly. Like it seems the majority are taking it. I think he means in a general sense. The fans of all sides, the music industry as a whole, himself, etc.. would of been upset and pissed if he were to diss them for such petty reasons. I don't think he means strictly in a battle/lyrical/skill wise sense.
With that said.. Note the lyrics are in past tense. He
used to think that way. He obviously doesn't anymore seeing how he got his self esteem, skill, everything back he was lacking at that point in his career. He's just trying to explain he was in such a shitty space he was ready to go at whoever was big because he wasn't doing shit at that time. Causing him to be jealous for no reason. It's not a matter of who's better or not.
