1-2 liners that make you laugh

[Solace]

^^First line is "gas". But yeah both those lines are funny as FUCK; along with a buncha others mentioned.

[Berry]

Hit Jason in the face with a hockey puck and told him it's fuckin on

[Elision]

clap hands with the rap fans step on stage and give them a lap dance

What's this from?


... Don't tell me there's a track that I don't have on my playlist

[313]

No more threats, I'm doing drive-bys in tinted Corvettes... On Vietnam war vets!

From which song is this? I can't remember right now.

[shadyfreakzul]

clap hands with the rap fans step on stage and give them a lap dance

What's this from?


... Don't tell me there's a track that I don't have on my playlist

d12 tim westwood freestyle

[shadyfreakzul]

No more threats, I'm doing drive-bys in tinted Corvettes... On Vietnam war vets!

From which song is this? I can't remember right now.

cant remember off the top of my head but i think it was on the radio

"cuz I'm more tore / on droppin an accapella, to chop a fella to mozarella, worse than a helicopter propeller / got you locked in a cellar..."

"...i hid a secret letter inside of a word search / with smeared letters runnin together in blurred spurts...."

"...met a retarded kid named greg with a wooden leg / snatched it off and beat him over the head with the peg / go to bed with a keg, wake up with a forty / mix it with alkyseltzer and formula 40 4-D / forget an acid tab, i strap the whole sheet to my forehead / waited until it absorbed, bled, then i fell to the floor dead / no more said, case closed, end of discussion / we blowin up like spontaneous human combustion / leavin you in the aftermath of holucost and trauma's / blowin up your house, killin ya parents, and comin back to get ya foster mamma's / and i'm as good to keep this promise as nostradamus / cuz i ain't makin no more threats / i'm doin drive by's in tinted corvettes on vietnam war vets / i'm more or less, sick in the head / maybe more cuz i smoked crack today, yesterday, and the day before / sabatouer / walk the block with a labradour / salvator / foul style valour / verbal cow maneur / comin together like an eyebrow on al b. sure!"

i think its on an extra cd of slim shady lp. its called Greg.....the compilation of the three verses is called 3 verses.

[shadyfreakzul]

99% of aliens prefer earth

I come here to rule the planet,

I hang with male chauvinist pigs and perverts

Who point water pistols at women
and squirt shirts starting with your turf

Been a bad boy since diapers and Gerber's

My first words were bleep bleep and curse curse

Yanking out my stitches, and hollering "nurse nurse,

You said this shot would numb it,
chick it just hurts worse!"

I used to be a loudmouth, remember me? (uh-ah)
I'm the one who burned your house down (oh)
Well I'm out now (shit), and this time I'm comin back to blow your house up
And I ain't gon leave you a window to jump out of

"Slim Shady, his tape is dope, I love it
It's rugged, but he needs to quit talking all that drug shit."

Hello? (Billy) Aiyyo what's up (we're comin to get you)
STOP, THEY KNOW IT'S US!!

[Evan C.]

I drink more liquor to fuck you up quicker than you'd wanna fuck me up for sayin' the word (pause)

[OMEGA]

From Drop The Bomb On Em':

and I aint wearing zilch, zip, zero, nothing, no nada,
like your fa-da fucking ya mada

[Scrawl]

some I wrote on another thread

"You couldn't make the fans throw up their hands if they swallowed their fingers"

"I'll run your brain around the block to jog your fucking memory"

"I showered the slang, simple as ABC's / Skip over the D's and rock the microphone with ease (E's)"

"I've got miracle lyrical capability all in me
With the agility to escape a killer bee colony"

"Fuckin' felon, headed to hell in a handbasket"

"You ain't gonna sell two copies if you press a double album."

"I walked into a gunfight with a knife to kill you, and cut you so fast when your blood spilled it was still blue."

"Will Smith don't got to cuss in his raps to sell records, well I do so fuck him and fuck you too."

"Adrenaline shots of penicillin could not get the illing to stop.
Amoxacilin is just not real enough."

"Fuck money I don't rap for dead presidents
I'd rather see the president dead
It's never been said but I set precedents"

"Sixty slutz all of them dying from asphixia
after they sip piss through a christopher reeves sippie cup"

"And smack em' with the backward E the Eminem em-belem"

"So at night before I sleep I look in the mirror
The mirror glows lips and it whispers come nearer "

"you think your Tom Sawyer,
til I pull you out the fucking story book and stomp on ya"

"boy, I told you boy, Im a Soldier boy, Im DeShaun,
Holten in this Bitch, Im the Proof boy your a fraud"

"hopped up holding an axe and saw
jason mask is off but my face is plastered in tobasco sauce"

[PhilTh3thriLL]

Whoa nelly
Tell Angelina Jolie I'm ready
With petroleum jelly to smear it all over me belly
And tell her she can hit me on me mobily celly
Or meet in the salami section of the grocery jelly

[TheShadyest]

Whoa nelly
Tell Angelina Jolie I'm ready
With petroleum jelly to smear it all over me belly
And tell her she can hit me on me mobily celly
Or meet in the salami section of the grocery jelly

"Or meet in the salami section of the grocery deli"

[shadyfreakzul]

Chauvinist pig, drove in this big Lincoln 'til it went over the bridge
Jumped out and dove in a ditch
Broke in a mobile home and stole the stove and the fridge
Kidnapped the parents and left a randsom note for the kids

Under intense investigation for killing infants
While I sit in padded rooms doing shrooms
Having visions of dead pregnant women with brooms jabbed in they wombs

[MikeNUFC]

"im like a fuckin wasp in a hospital lost stingin the fuck outa everythin i come across in the halls"

I light a candle and place it up on the mantle
Grab a knife at the blade and stab you with the fuckin handle is the funniest line from that verse. One of his best of all time as well.

[embm]

yo yesterday i seen this girl from arnd the way
& she had nice titties & ass
& i said damn i cant let u pass
so i walked 2 her & said miss
can i giv ur asshole a kiss
she said yes she said no
then she said yes but spank me slo
so i did then the next thing u kno
she said heres my # holler @ the kid
i said holler @ the kid
i dnt undrstnd
holy shit the damn chick was a man

ya i like a girl 2
a girl tats my world
u kno the kind tat reminds me of a squirel
cuz she alwys got her nuts in my mouth
i mean her mouth
is wat i meant 2 say
i wont put my own nuts in my mouth cuz it wont fit hey
ok so listen 2 wat im tryin 2 say
let me rewind & regain my composure

those 2 freestyle r
the whole songs r jus gr8