Funniest lines

[Blake]

Whats the lines that always make you laugh or at least smile?

mines


tryin to hear that bump that cunt said why i snap back in that accent
cuz she kept askin me to quit callin a cunt I said I CUNT!

[HereHere]

"I said I cunt!"

"Mr Mischief with a trick up his sleeve, to roll up on you like Christopher Reeve"

[Devil'sAdvocate]

"i write a rhyme a day so its no wonder how come yo whole album sounds like a bunch of shit that i would say (CAGE!)"

[Sla]

Maybe not correct to post it here, but I laugh my ass off everytime I hear the interlude skit on Criminal:


[Dre] Aight look (uh huh) just go up in that motherfucker
get the motherfuckin money and get the fuck up outta there
[Em] Aight
[Dre] I'll be right here waitin on you
[Em] Aight
[Dre] Yo Em
[Em] What?!
[Dre] Don't kill nobody this time
[Em] Awwright... god damn, fuck...
(whistling) how you doin'?
[Teller] HI, how can I help you?
[Eminem] Yeah I need to make a withdrawl
[Teller] Okay
[Eminem] Put the fuckin money in the bag bitch
and I won't kill you!
[Teller] What? Oh my god, don't kill me
[Eminem] I'm not gonna kill you bitch, quit lookin around...
[Teller] Don't kill me, I have two kids at home, don't kill me
[Eminem] I said I'm not gonna fuckin kill you
Hurry the fuck up! {*BOOM*} Thank you!

[Ku53v]

My nine is like a guidin light at night shinin bright
my fuckin grip is tighter than my wife's vagina, sike

Maybe not correct to post it here, but I laugh my ass off everytime I hear the interlude skit on Criminal:

Almost every line in that song is hilarious

[VenomBlackViper]

I love that one part in soldier "LISTEN TO THE SOUND OF KIM AS SHE LICKS ON A COCK!!!" he just screams that shit & it's hilarious every time.

[randomgirl]

I was just thinking about making a thread like this.

From Devil's Night, "That's How"
Chokin' your wife all in front of your peeps,
She toss a brick through the window of your Jeep,
Get back together by the end of the week, that's so sweet
Slim and Kim argue too much!

I don't know if this counts, but the end of "Drips" when Obie says "Turn this shit the fuck--" then the song just cuts off, that gets me everytime. WTF was he so angry about? LOL.

Not sure if skits count but the "Criminal" skit is hilarious. The "Lounge" skit from SSLP, at the end some dude is like "Slim SHADY! Slim SHADY!!" Shit is hilarious. The "Soap" skit from SSLP, when Royce said "We were destined to be together, I met her on the beach!" LOL. Actually all the skits on his albums make me laugh.

From "Medicine Ball,"
All my West Side bitches throw it up,
Put a balloon inside your pussy, queef and blow it up!

LOL WTF. So random. Well, that's all that comes to mind at the moment, but I know theres many many more.

[Asd-ONE]

I remembered this magic trick
Ta ta ta ta tan...
Go go gadget dick!

[Willy]

I neverrrr meanntttt toooooo giveee you musshrrooomss girllll *random people cheering*

[Bananastyle]

Top 5 in no particular order:

-If Shady said it, Shady meant it
I stay demented
I'll throw a stroller at you, with a baby in it

-And my repertoire's running around in pink panties and leopard bras

-You talk a lot of shit but you were never ill though
I'm strong enough to beat you to death with a feather pillow
Tipped over some cows just for a joke and laugh
Jumped up choked a giraffe
Snapped his neck and broke it in half

-Throw down the cardboard
Let's breakdance if you think you're hardcore
(pretty much that whole verse is nonstop chuckles)

-Sorry Puff, but I don't give a fuck if this chick was my own mother
I'd still fuck her with no rubber
And cum inside of her, have a son and a new brother at the same time
And just say that it ain't mine

[randomgirl]

^ LOL Funny stuff guys!

The ending of "My Fault,"
My God I'm so sorry! I'M SO SORRY!
SUSAN PLEASE WAKE UP!!
YOU'RE NOT DEAD!

I'm paraphrasing, but you know what I'm talking about. Now that's comedy.

[Blake]

-Sorry Puff, but I don't give a fuck if this chick was my own mother
I'd still fuck her with no rubber
And cum inside of her, have a son and a new brother at the same time
And just say that it ain't mine

honestly that whole line is one of my all time favorite rhyme by em. idk what it is about it but i just love it.

[Heffernan]

new lines?
id bury my face in a stinky twat and go alalalalalalalla

old lines?

ermmm...idk id have to get back to you on that

[SliK]

"Motherfucker I'll show you pussyfooting, I kick a bitch in the cunt til it makes her queef and sounds like a fucking woopie cushion" - Cold Wind Blows

I pretty much laugh all the way through Can-I-Bitch, I know its cheesy but I love it.

There's way more but you guys will probably say them all.

[nandish]

That's why I ain't got no time, for these games and stupid tricks, or these bitches on my dick,
That's how dudes be getting sick, that's how dicks be getting drips , falling victims to this shit,
From these bitches on our dicks, fucking chickens with no ribs, that's why I ain't got no
time...

So we're off to Toronto and we're gainin' speed
[BOOSH!] (What was that? Oh) Jermaine Dupri
Fuck It, keep goin' no time to waste
Wait, backup hit him one more time in case
Okay .. fuck now he's draggin' under the car
Oh well, only 30 more thousand miles