These days he's clean and sober, but Eminem admits his chronic addiction to prescription drugs 'wiped out' more than five-years of his life before he sought help.
The 39-year old rapper - real name Marshall Mathers III - was fighting a desperate battle against drug dependency before eventually taking five-years off to resolve his issues shortly after the 2004 release of fifth album 'Encore.'
But despite making a successful comeback, he admits his substance abuse issues resulted in whole years of his life being wiped from his memory.
“I try to stay recording, because if I don’t, I get rusty. I’m very paranoid about writer’s block — I had it for four years, and it drove me f***ing crazy. No matter how hard I tried, I just couldn’t think of s**t,” he told Rolling Stone.
“The pills had a lot to do with it. Just wiping out brain cells. I don’t know if it sounds like I’m making excuses, but the absolute truth is a lot of my memory is gone. I don’t know if you’ve ever taken Ambien, but it’s kind of a memory-eraser. That s**t wiped out five years of my life.
“People will tell me stories, and it’s like, ‘I did that?’ I saw myself doing this thing on (TV network) BET recently, and I was like, ‘When was that?’"
The rapper admits he continued to write lyrics prolifically during the darkest days of his addiction - but looking back over those same rhymes with a clear head is a painful experience.
“It f***ing creeps me out. Letters all down the page — it was like my hand weighed 400 pounds," he said. "I have all that s**t in a box in my closet. As a reminder that I don’t ever want to go back."
Despite his loss of memory, Eminem can still recall the moment he started taking prescription pills.
“We were doing 16 hours on the set on (2002 movie) '8 Mile', and you had a certain window where you had to sleep,” he said. “One day somebody gave me an Ambien, and it knocked me the f**k out. I was like, ‘I need this all the time.’
“Then, when I got off probation for my felonies (in 2003), and I didn’t have to drop urine anymore, the reins came off. On the Anger Management 3 tour (in 2005), I was f***ed up every night."
By Jason Chester and Nikolaj Vraa / Starlounge Photos: Getty Images, WireImage and Fame Pictures
Source : http://starlounge.ie.msn.com/gallery.aspx?cp-documentid=159527825
