"I'm afraid if I close my eyes, i might see her, shit"

[EminemInsider]

I don't think it has anything to do with suicide.

I think it's more a matter of Eminem saying he's afraid of "seeing" in a way beyond just "seeing" with his eyes, as in, if he really takes a step back he might see what he's doing to Hailie, and he's afraid of facing the truth.

In other words, he's afraid of "looking" deeper.