i'M Sorry

[Slim Zaddy]

okay this song i wrote for my girl ,, it's still not final ,, i did'nt master it ,, but i need ya feeds guys ,, tell me what do u think of it ,, all feeds will be returned ,,


(Verse1)
Baby, I’m here let me jus tell u ,
Let me take u to my chest & rest you
Let me just say I’m sorry,
For the words I have been say,
Baby don’t worry, yeah I’m insane
Sometimes I just say words like this,
I don’t think about em , I’m not blessed
Come here baby and give me a kiss
Give me a kiss I fee so sad
I let get angry I feel so mad,
You’re da only girl that I love that I had
Baby don’t leave me , don’t say that ,,
Ranad I love , I know you know that ,
Baby forgive me , come here and huge me ,
Come here baby let me jus hug u ,, ohh ranad I love u

(chorus)
So now to what I hve done , ranad plz I’m sorry
Baby plz don’t run ,, you know my heart is dyeing
Ranad i’m not lying, you’re heart I’m buying ,
Plz don’t say that you , can leave me here
Ranad you’re my dear , I love u so much ,
I’m ya mom and dad , me baby you had
U can leave me as,, a lover, but not as a brother or sister
Baby I miss ya

Baby come here , baby come here,
Come sit here let me wipe that tear
let it jus fall down , on my cheek
baby I need it , baby I need,
ranad come here baby , come here near
lay on my chest , let go of your fear
baby I’m soory , I did’nt mean
you’re my love , you’re my dear
baby come here baby give me your ear
come here closer , let me jus say
ranad to ziad means everything ,
one day without you , it feels like a heck
2 day without you , I don’t want to live
3 days without you , plz I need help ,
Anybody here anybody here, anybody here plz I’, sick
I need my girl where is she is ,
Baby I’m sorry ,, baby I’m soory ,,
I only have you, you got no clue ,
Ranad I need you , far or soon
Hey habooola and sanfooora ,
You know that zaid love for surea ,
So come here and giv me a hug , ranadI love so much

i_m sorry babay.mp3 - 2.40MB

[°[~CHR!$~]°]

i can imagine this track means much to you and i respect it for its content
but from the technical point it was very messy....your flow was unregular...
mixing was terrible...hook wasnt catchy to me..sorry
but as i said i respect the content and you spoke your feelings..this whats hip hop about...

[Slim Zaddy]

i can imagine this track means much to you and i respect it for its content
but from the technical point it was very messy....your flow was unregular...
mixing was terrible...hook wasnt catchy to me..sorry
but as i said i respect the content and you spoke your feelings..this whats hip hop about...

thanks bro ,, yeah still it's not mastered or mixed well ,,,,,,,,, for the flow ,, i think it's cool ,, lol ,, anyway ,,, thanks ,, for ya thoughts ,,,,

[TripleNineThree]

I agree with C-Riz, I could tell the song really means something to you. It seems like the structure of the verse and chorus was a little off tho. I think you should add some more effects to the hook to make it stand out more as an actual hook, you know what I mean? And the way you could the dooonneee and ruuunnn on the hook doesn't make it sound good IMO, I would figure out something else for that part of the hook. It was an alright track, just keep practicing man!!

Think you could return the feed? - viewtopic.php?f=38&t=86167

[hype]

one thing for sure, the girl it's aimed at would be heartless not to be touched by that.

[Slim Zaddy]

I agree with C-Riz, I could tell the song really means something to you. It seems like the structure of the verse and chorus was a little off tho. I think you should add some more effects to the hook to make it stand out more as an actual hook, you know what I mean? And the way you could the dooonneee and ruuunnn on the hook doesn't make it sound good IMO, I would figure out something else for that part of the hook. It was an alright track, just keep practicing man!!

Think you could return the feed? - viewtopic.php?f=38&t=86167

thanks bro ,,, i've returend the feed...

one thing for sure, the girl it's aimed at would be heartless not to be touched by that.

actually ,, when she heard it ,, she forgives me ,,, and now we're back ,, again ,,, ,,

much appreciated by those,, who left feeds

[Nick. Y]

I guess you put your heart in this, I understand, but it's wack anyway, and your girl may have forgiven you when she heard this, which is nice too, but it could've been out of pity, not because the song is nice. Sorry if I'm offending you son, I don't mean it...

[Slim Zaddy]

I guess you put your heart in this, I understand, but it's wack anyway, and your girl may have forgiven you when she heard this, which is nice too, but it could've been out of pity, not because the song is nice. Sorry if I'm offending you son, I don't mean it...

it's k ,, man ,, thanks ,, for the feed,,i dont mind harsh feeds if it's honest ,, so ya ,,, ,, and,, this song is for my girl ,, so i did'nt focus ,, on mastering it and mixing it,, rather than focusing on the content of the song,,,,, so ya ,,,

[gutawafang]

The chorus could be improved. The verse is all very good. I like the lyrics a lot man.

Maybe the flow is a little off at some parts. Or maybe it's the accent. It's not bad man, I think certain "methods of rapping" in this song is wrongly used. Cuz you see, the tone is wrong at most parts of this song.

And man, the intro of this song had some sound effects. It should be cut away. And also some parts of the song is not cut properly man. Like, SUDDENLY the vocal track stops and continue again, you get waht I mean?

But overall man, for lyrics, I'ma say it's good.

[Slim Zaddy]

The chorus could be improved. The verse is all very good. I like the lyrics a lot man.

Maybe the flow is a little off at some parts. Or maybe it's the accent. It's not bad man, I think certain "methods of rapping" in this song is wrongly used. Cuz you see, the tone is wrong at most parts of this song.

And man, the intro of this song had some sound effects. It should be cut away. And also some parts of the song is not cut properly man. Like, SUDDENLY the vocal track stops and continue again, you get waht I mean?

But overall man, for lyrics, I'ma say it's good.

thnaks for the depth advice , bro ,, but can i know where is the tone went wrong ,, so that i dont do it again ,,, cuz i'm not seeing , what u are sayinh here,, so can u jus point out to me bro ,, and ,, thanks ,, again ,,

[gutawafang]

^ it's the way you "rap out". you see, certain parts you need to force out the emotions. I know you tried, but it should be forced out more. ceratin words sounded funny when you said it, like it's not portraying the subject of the song.

[Slim Zaddy]

^ it's the way you "rap out". you see, certain parts you need to force out the emotions. I know you tried, but it should be forced out more. ceratin words sounded funny when you said it, like it's not portraying the subject of the song.

ya i got what u mean ,, and hahahah ,, for those funny words,, i think u 're talking about haboola and sanfooora,, these are just nicknames , i called her with ,,

[gutawafang]

^word man. eh, we should collab. our lyrics do tally sometimes man.

[Slim Zaddy]

^word man. eh, we should collab. our lyrics do tally sometimes man.

i would love too ,, man ,,,,,,, i will pm you ,, cuz it seems u'e not online , bro