Sentus & Tash-All I Do

[classthe_king]

Huge props to Tash for putting a chorus on this

http://usershare.net/763e5vme2win

I hope I'm getting better, also any mixing tips would be greatly appreciated.

(Lyrics)
I put my life in this music and I feel like if I lose it
I’m left with nothing so I grab the mic and abuse it
I feel like I am useless, another kid in the class
Now there kissin my ass cause I’m spittin this fast
Let’s revisit my past and see the fatal catastrophe
The betrayal attached to me and days full of agony
That created this masterpiece n amazes all that can see
The truth of the song with more pain than it has to be
I think I’m under the pressure of the deepest oceans
And everyone gave me poison when I needed potions
It’s these emotions that make sure the track is finished
The cruelty is fueling me to push it past the limits
I wanna tear up the mainstream, leave gashes in
Combining rhyme and melody like a master chemist
I don’t rap for gimmicks; I let the pen use my pain
To voice my struggle as music flows through my veins

(Chorus)

I put my heart in each rhyme, every part of the line
I work it until it is perfect and I am startin to shine
I’m starvin for mine; I just fuckin want my respect
So bad it eats me alive but everyone loves to reject
There is nothin that’s kept me from fightin for me
As I’m writin I see I’m the only one fightin for me
But right when I speak I have a new found power
To crown our passion, laughin as you clowns cower
I’m tryin to construct the best music ever conceived
Cause I know deep down no one’s truly better than me
But there will never be peace in my heart as long
As the dark is strong, my soul moans but I’m marchin on
When I start the song I’ll take anyone I swear to you
I’ll go toe to toe on anything, whatever you care to do
Bitch, I put a gun to my head and I pulled the trigger
So what the fuck makes you think I’m scared of you

(Chorus)

This isn't a sad song about all that I've had wrong
In my life, I already paid the price, it all adds on
Top of each other, if you've got to be smothered
By all the shit, call it quits and stop and recover
Cause it just ain't worth it, nothin remains perfect
It is a big waste of time cause no one deserves it
Since I’ve done this verse it has cleansed my storm
I've learned to cope as new hope begins to form
I won't pretend to mourn about the losses received
Cause if Hip-Hop’s all I have then it’s all I need
As I fall I bleed, but I stand up and shake it off
I know I still can so I will man up and take the loss
The mistake has cost so much time and energy
I wanna go back but I can’t rewind the memories
I don’t mind the enemies cause I know a hug changes
The fun changes and best friends become strangers

[Solace]

Weak beat. Annoying as fuck chorus. No nononononono x 3... Your flow was very awkward 1st half of the first verse...It got better but still not smooth. I think you dont have enough syllables per line and you tend to stretch out your rhyme. Spag used to do this. 3rd verse was best in terms of flow. But all verses are written great. The echo should be taken out of the mixing in the verses. Your 2nd best track so far.

If you're wondering about the syllables thing I said, well lets take this line in 3rd verse (cause it just passed and its a good example)

If hip hops all i have then its all i need

it would sound less choppy

if hip hops all i have then its all i would need

[classthe_king]

Thanks solace, and yeah tash talked to me about adding more syllables to the rhyme but my breath control isn't real solid so I can't really do that right now, maybe soon.

[Tash8]

Weak beat. Annoying as fuck chorus. No nononononono x 3..

[Solace]

Weak beat. Annoying as fuck chorus. No nononononono x 3..

Don't get me wrong, I'm not trying to be a dickhole but when it should've ended you dragged the chorus along and the constant No no nonono no was annoying as fuck. But this new re-mixed version is a lot better. Sentus, you're getting there.

[gutawafang]

I felt it. I didn't like the chorus.

[B.A.D.]

good beat, very simple but effective... I'd add some nice violin combo everynow and then, other than that great production.

the lyrics are written excelent, very well schemed, genious rhyme method, however you didn't rap them 100% accurate, in many lines you fail to start when youre supposed to. like you are breathing where you are supposed to start the bar. and then it seems rushed. the flow is very similar to what I sometimes do, so I like that, only if you practice to control your breathing you will achieve it. I love the methaphors and creativity of your verses. like the poison and potions line and the master chemist. first verse was the best. on the third verse, who's that, everything changes, the voice, the writing method, the flow, and changed to worst, didn't like it. the lyrics where good tho.

now the hook, Destroyed what it could have been a great song, Tash don't take it wrong, u my dude, but this is the worst hook you've done, I'll tell you why tho':
-way out of tone, very "make fun of me" out of tone
-too long, too annoying
-extreme chorus and reverb effects, horrible horrible horrible
-the lyrics are corny
-and the no nooo noo nooo.

anyways, great improvement from class, some more practice and you there. also I will suggest to change your mixing process to a more low, (bassy) and wet one. amazing track, its a shame about the hook, but either way. good track

[classthe_king]

You sound like you've been sitting at home for 6 weeks and have exhausted all thinkable options of entertainment.

That basically sums it up right there.

And thanks Big Ax-D, means alot.

[Jay-19]

I had something planned for this beat, but I felt it never turned out as I wanted it to...

Your flow is off and on man, like your switching it up like every other line, which makes it kinda hard to get into the song. The lyrics are really good though, I like these kind of tracks with this concept.

Hook is pretty cool!

Good job, just work on your flow and you got it locked man!

[Terry_M]

The lyrics are great and I really like them. The flow is very good for the most part too, at some parts it could be better but of course that will improve naturally over time. The hook wasn't terrible but I wasn't really feeling it either.

Overall, pretty dope track man.

[Mr. Chambers]

rap your verses on a treadmill while jogging/running...it'll help your breathe control

(+what everyone else said)

[classthe_king]

Word, thanks for the help

[FAME]

It won't let me get to the song, it says some 505 error

[classthe_king]

It won't let me get to the song, it says some 505 error

I just clicked it and it worked perfectly fine, but you can also check it on my myspace