I Cant Be Broken

[Spyder]

viewtopic.php?f=38&t=134213&p=1817496#p1817496

http://www.megaupload.com/?d=G9FQD3AV

Hook
I wont give up, on things that ive spoken
I wont back down, I can’t be broken.
I will stand tall, come ready to fight
Despite what they say, I make the best of my life.

Ill put the kids into their place when Im spittin this rage
Leave bones broken as I spoke in the most vicious of ways
Go unnoticed, holdin briefcase and shift into shapes
Freeze lines and the sand of time sifts in its place.
Im mockin your fam, comparin God to a man
Climbin Mount Olympus with nothing but the palms of my hand!
I was not gone as planned, forgot Adam and Eve
More like bust in, chop your Adam’s apple and leave!
Trafficking thief collecting for black markets
Robbin rap artist the second their track started,
I rap half hearted, because I never cared to much
You rap half hearted cause only halfs there to pump!
So spare ya lungs, I set fire to fans
Equipped with lighter in hands and watch you ignite where you stand.
Spyder the man, ill keep swinging with broken fists
Notice this, trying to defeat me… hopeless wish.

Hook
I wont give up, on things that ive spoken
I wont back down, I can’t be broken.
I will stand tall, come ready to fight
Despite what they say, I make the best of my life.

To everyone tryin to bring my down, my regards to
Youll never see me break I swear on my honor,
When I bury emotions I become a violent author
But when I berry-moore I become the fire starter!
Times are harder but im back in a new race boy,
And I aint never seen tail, Two Face Coin!
You pigs make noise, hog-tie ya hands and feet
Out breaks of Polio who attempt to stand with me,
You try to branch out but it cant ya see
I go out on a limb, you cant like an amputee!
I command the streets you couldn’t be cursed with worse
youll eat ya words, puke til ya whole verse rehearsed
my wordsll burn, to nerds thinkin rappins fun
but now that shits done now that the masters come
every syllable just proves your whole tracklist dumb
in fact, urinary’s only dope track you got!

Hook
I wont give up, on things that ive spoken
I wont back down, I can’t be broken.
I will stand tall, come ready to fight
Despite what they say, I make the best of my life.

[_Ironic_]

given ya a listen.

beat goes hard. some shit u can spark a lighter and let it wave back and forth..

your delivery is AWFUL...you do not sound comfortable at all on the mic...huge problem if you want to take this up a level.. the lyrics are straight..nothing too special. flow is average..again nothing special..

the best thing this has going for it is it's beat and hook. but u didn't do either. sorry if this seems harsh but im not one to give u fake feedback..this is a very below average song.

the listener from the begininng is only engaged to the beat..the quality, flow, and delivery really turned me off. sorry but this wasn't my cup of tea.

3.5/10


-----im actually gonna give u two reviews cuz after lookin at this...I realize that I meant to write this for feedback of "No more nightmares"

the following is the feed for this song------->>


delivery shows signs of improvement...best way i can say it. ur adlibs were a little off...doubles were as well. the hook could have been alot better...the delivery needs work...u just dont sound like ur comfortable. lyrics are good

quality is decent.

I like this MUCH better than "no more nightmares" but its still fundamentally flawed. the hook has potential, and I can see the creativity..but you need to work on ur voice and how you deliver it. keep elevating..it gets easier...

6/10



rtf if u get a chance.

[Spyder]

thanks man i agree with nightmares feed, i do believe i did better on this track

i was wondering what u were talking about the hook not being mine haha

im still novice to mixing, i couldnt figure out how to get good effects on the hook
so if u have pointers theyd be greatly appreciated

ill rtf tomorrow at the latest

[B.A.D.]

ok, first advice I can give you is, if you want more feedback and listens, you should upload to a site that allows streaming, like youtube, hulkshare, soundcloud... there's many.. (not zshare though, fuck that site) anyways, I downloaded, listened, and here's my feedback:

the hook has really bad mixing man, its very unclear. a bit hard to enjoy.
your normal voice is kinda cool, very similar to eminem, so u might get a bit of a hassle for that, but I dont really mind.
your flow is really good, but not consistent, like for instance, on the begining of both verses you struggle to stay on beat, then you start to get comfortable and sounds better, still a few minor slips though. My advice on that, is to re-work your writing, make sure the syllable rapping matches.
also, you focus wayyy to much on "impreesive' vocab and complexity... sometimes its not as good cuz it keeps you away from many things, like focusing on the flow, the structuring, the overall content, the creativity.... so focus more on perfecting the actual song in all technical aspects, then u can start elevating.

its a pretti good song, a little mixing issues on the verses like volume, but sounds pretti damn clean

keep at it man, looking forward for more

[Spyder]

thanks man means alot for u to say that
if u got some mixing tips id love to hear em through pm
especially for a good hook haha
thanks man ill rtf soon

[Steve Spag]

Haha, I remember this beat. I have to agree with Ax for the most part, the voice you use for your verses is enjoyable but when it goes into the hook it's too heavy for me. I think the mixing could use a bit of work, but hey I have the same problem so whatever. Lyrics are nice, flow is pretty decent, keep it up man, practice makes perfect!

[Trimss]

It really sounds better than your first track.

I just.. couldn't stand the hook. But it will get better with time, and I never know how to do hooks so I can't really say much about it.

Your flow and delivery were better, and it will eventually even get better than that. So just keep practicing.

Your writing is top notch so when you have potential man. Keep doing it.


I'm not gonna bump my thread but I just wanted to say in reply to your feedback in my thread, thanks and usually my accent isn't that heavy but i rushed it and it sounded like shit. I will drop a full track somewhen soon and I hope you'll feed it too man. But thanks for the feed!

[Ticalrecords]

the chorus was aite, you might need to find someone who can sing to sing it for you. the verses were nice, there were some points where you delivery was off like no other especially with the begining of the second verse with the honor line. overall it aint bad.

return the favor please? viewtopic.php?f=38&t=135175