My first song post!

[Wonderbread]

This is my first time posting on here, so go easy on me! lol This is the newest song I've done. I liked the chorus at first, but a couple people said they didn't so now I'm shaky bout it. I'll post some of my older ones later. Let me know what you think!

http://www.zshare.net/audio/6883422c89ad68/

[Wonderbread]

Haha, I'm not worried about a lawsuit since I don't think I'm gonna be famous or anything. Thanks for the feedback. I don't allways sound like that when I rap. I sound different on every song.

[DelinQuent]

yeah the high pitched voice makes you sound unnatural.
the chorus... the singing is.... not so good but i like the idea of it.
the lyrics, idk i just didn't feel em. you rhyme well enough.
keep at it you def have some potential

[Call Me Pik]

"take the lint thats in your pocket and turn it into wealth" ..that was my favorite line i think u have talent n all that just need to werk on finding your voice some of the lyrics you wrote were dope and some of them the delivery wasnt there like the whole first verse sounded like a freestyle gotta be more confident wit it make a track not a mixtape ...keep up the gud werk

[shady_soldier_]

great idea. i'm trying to work on my first song too. any pointers i can take from you or anyone else? lol.

maybe for the chorus and the high pitched part you can get a girl to help you out there if you're not sure if you can do it yourself. just a suggestion.