sorry bout the last post heres a better song

[DelinQuent]

yeah the only positive is the emotion. where'd you get that beat? it's fire.

honestly all i can say is keep working. it seems you don't understand the basics. once you get the basics i think you'll be on track.

here's some of the basics that form a song.

most verses are 16 bars, most choruses are 8 bars.
1 bar=2 snares usually
a snare is the kind of high pitced drum you hear (can't think of better description)
you want to either hit your rhymes or meaningful words on the snares to start. once you get better an constructing bars you can then get the hang of flow, and then you can basically do whatever you'd like.

when i first started i rapped like you, but slower, i had no flow, no structure, and i had no idea what a bar was. then i started to hit a rhyme on every single snare. then i started to hit rhymes on every other snare (every bar). if you got any questions feel free to IM me on AIM at delinquentisdq i'm always willing to help.

EDIT-just read your reply to my feed in your other topic. i didn't say you were wack. i just gave you honest feed, you decided to get cocky but it's w/e. you wanna hear that you're the best? fuck it, you are THE SHIT, i love your music, i want your cock. or would you rather have honest feed than can help you with the improvement that everyone thinks you desperately need?

[Kez]

Your delivery kinda suits the feel of the track (angry), but your flow is way off. Sounds as though you accidentally mixed it a few seconds too quick. Beat is hot shit. In the hook you sound way too much like Eminem, though, i'm sorry. Lyrics are alright, nothin too complex but they're alright. Your quality's alright, but sometimes your pella goes a bit quieter, and sometimes when you scream your mic pops or fuzzes. Sounds a bit bad when you shout quality-wise.

[<Stiiccy>]

Your delivery kinda suits the feel of the track (angry), but your flow is way off. Sounds as though you accidentally mixed it a few seconds too quick. Beat is hot shit. In the hook you sound way too much like Eminem, though, i'm sorry. Lyrics are alright, nothin too complex but they're alright. Your quality's alright, but sometimes your pella goes a bit quieter, and sometimes when you scream your mic pops or fuzzes. Sounds a bit bad when you shout quality-wise.

yeah im gettin a new mic ...i ordered it a while back it should have already came but of course fuckin ebay takes forever

[B.A.D.]

man, u have to give others feed too