tomb stone feat. lil-bri and maddman

[enjinn]

http://www.zshare.net/audio/50984778d7c91ea6/ ...i go first and do the hook...lil-bri is second and maddman is third...here's the lyrics to my verse and hook...all feedback is much appreciated!

yo i live in a pit, with a dying mind
buying time, as i wait for the light to shine
and its like im blind, cuz i struggle to see
how im gonna live life with this fucking disease
its been troubling me, but i stand strong
ask god, why im not free...what im trapped for
like i never succeed, so its better to leave
and my own fears wrecking my dreams
i chill and i take it slow, still i be praying yo
im a carcass filled with an ancient soul
i need a basic goal, gotta get me a plan
reach out and ill lend you a hand
everybody kinda left me and ran, but i hold no grudge
cuz im blessed by a god and his holy touch
so i build cuz i need to stay strong
and i will persevere till the demons are gone

hook:
trapped in the past will i last its a tough decision
and im mad cuz i rap in this fucking prison
tryna pass as i grab all the love im given
and i act when i rap cuz my trust is hidden

[Kez]

Loved it

Enjinn:
Delivery nice and strong
Lyrics are nice, rhymes are sick
Flow is great, i liked how it was a bit abstract.
Hook is sick

The other 2 were also good but i liked yours most to be fair.

Sick track

[enjinn]

thanks a lot Kez!...im really glad you feeling it

[DelinQuent]

loooooved it, your verse was dope. definately the best on the track.

i can tell you have an accent, but your pronunciation is great, i understood every word.

i loved the flow you had, the pauses in some spots were great in my opinion.

rhyming was also good.

also, loved the effect you put on "holy touch"

2nd guy did well.

3rd guy was terrible, his verse was extremely boring.

i'll definately be playing this again just to hear your verse keep it up and keep working

[enjinn]

DelinQuent, THANKS FOR THE COMMENT!...its really appreciated!

[Jay-19]

Wow man, your part is straight fire!
The delivery is top-notch for this type of track.
Some really really good lines. I love your voice dude! Fits this beat perfect.
The beat is off the hook by the way!
Hook is also very good, could have been a little better without those empty spaces in it if you know what I mean, like an echo or something would really make it hotter in my opinion.
Second dude was alright, he had nice flow with some okay rhymes.
Third dude wasn't that good.
You did best on this track without a doubt man!
Keep making more tracks similair to this and you got at least one true fan in your fanbase, me!

[enjinn]

damn KillahGoat...thanks the comment!...it means a lot to me

[Jay-19]

damn KillahGoat...thanks the comment!...it means a lot to me

No problem man, I love the track!

[Xray]

I agree with the others, you killed it. Enjoyable track homie

[Call Me Pik]

commenting as i go .......intro is sick la laaa laaa wit the distortion sounds like something major is bout to happen...eh.not sure i like the voice but i def like the lyrics so far there really good.........hook is hott...but the second time u sed it u can tell u copied and pasted it .......second person is ill ...to much of an effect on his voice tho lyrics are solid tho...def sounds like a poetic track like how second verse ended his verse song is tuff so far ....oh shyt....3rd verse is crazy how u slowed it down like that damn this shyt is crazy i love it 10/10 def a good mix of verses on the same track