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Life Is Unfair

The forum for TRshady family audio songs and albums / mixtapes.

Life Is Unfair

Postby Emadyville » Dec 28th, '09, 22:59

This is a song I featured on, just one verse, but it's going on my mixtape that I'm working on. Just thought I'd get some feedback:

http://www.zshare.net/audio/7049947133c144fc/

Look, you see me coming out a rainstorm,
and I walk inside then I brainstorm,
with a pen it’s became this norm,
but I’d rather write than pull a Kurt Kobain in my dorm,
you look at me now you think I’m uptight,
but I’m not standing down though I’m can’t stand upright…
see I don’t coerce the stress,
but it’s a job that I’ve always worked the best,
and some people their worst is yet,
to come for me but my nerves are set,
and some of those words I sent,
they were versed and meant,
you wouldn’t cheer up like air ducts I vent,
and this pen will relieve that, believe that
what’s said is the truth-but you don’t wanna see that,
so just become more shallow,
and rewind this as I foreshadow…
Menzo wrote:Its cuz you're dope and Daddy Dubs. No one fucks with that


I love you Daren
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Re: Life Is Unfair

Postby GibbzyTrShady » Dec 29th, '09, 00:07

haha this beat is sick ive used it before SINIMA RIGHT ???? nice work man liked it
As Of Right Now.....
Im Just Slowly Takin Over'


http://www.forum.trshady.com/viewtopic. ... 8&t=102582
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Re: Life Is Unfair

Postby Emadyville » Dec 29th, '09, 00:31

GibbzyTrShady wrote:haha this beat is sick ive used it before SINIMA RIGHT ???? nice work man liked it


yeah it is, thanks for listenin :y:
Menzo wrote:Its cuz you're dope and Daddy Dubs. No one fucks with that


I love you Daren
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Re: Life Is Unfair

Postby ,-,'-{Bar}-',-, » Dec 29th, '09, 01:02

wasnt feeling the way you did your flow over the beat, but its a personel thing, overall its actually a very good track, love the beat and sample :y:
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Re: Life Is Unfair

Postby Emadyville » Dec 29th, '09, 01:06

,-,'-{Bar}-',-, wrote:wasnt feeling the way you did your flow over the beat, but its a personel thing, overall its actually a very good track, love the beat and sample :y:


thats cool man, i appreciate you taking the time and everything :y:
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Re: Life Is Unfair

Postby Tash8 » Dec 29th, '09, 06:17

what the eff is that effect you guys have on your vocals? it's awful...beat is pretty sick, first verse was dope imo, you're verse was good but the way you delivered it made it hard to enjoy it..

overall cool song, could use a bit of better mixing though

edit: let me know where you found that beat, i really wanan spit a verse over it.
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Re: Life Is Unfair

Postby Emadyville » Dec 29th, '09, 08:01

Tash8 wrote:what the eff is that effect you guys have on your vocals? it's awful...beat is pretty sick, first verse was dope imo, you're verse was good but the way you delivered it made it hard to enjoy it..

overall cool song, could use a bit of better mixing though

edit: let me know where you found that beat, i really wanan spit a verse over it.


I think he used autotune, idk I really like the dudes music, we've done about 4 songs together, he lives in maryland tho so it's all send and receive shit. sorry u didnt like how i delivered that, not sure if you meant it was a bad delivery or just something u couldnt enjoy. and i didnt have this beat, he sent me that in the summer, sorry, but its sinima so if you can find his shit maybe get it offline somewhere :y:
Menzo wrote:Its cuz you're dope and Daddy Dubs. No one fucks with that


I love you Daren
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Re: Life Is Unfair

Postby B.A.D. » Dec 29th, '09, 11:23

Jesus!! the beat is nice!!, great beat choice

hmmm youre verse 2 right??

I think I never heard you rap before, not bad at all man, the flow is kinda strange but I guess it works, your verse reminds me a bit of kanye. Either way, very re-playable track, I enjoyed, your verse is good, as well as the mixing... so well... keep it up man, this is good :y:
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Re: Life Is Unfair

Postby Emadyville » Dec 29th, '09, 17:07

Big Ax-D wrote:Jesus!! the beat is nice!!, great beat choice

hmmm youre verse 2 right??

I think I never heard you rap before, not bad at all man, the flow is kinda strange but I guess it works, your verse reminds me a bit of kanye. Either way, very re-playable track, I enjoyed, your verse is good, as well as the mixing... so well... keep it up man, this is good :y:


yeah I'm verse 2, thanks a lot man for taking the time and feeding the track :y:
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Re: Life Is Unfair

Postby slimsoxshady » Dec 30th, '09, 00:19

Pretty sick bro, I think you paused too much before "upright", the first pause was spot on, but ithought the second time sounded awkward. Delivery fit the beat tho. You say the first dude is from Maryland? He sounds familiar to me, whats his rap name?
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Re: Life Is Unfair

Postby mcZu » Dec 30th, '09, 00:28

I think the problem people might be having with your flow and delivery lies in the timing of your flow at some spots and your voice didn't really blend in with the beat. Like ''Kurt Kobain in my .... dorm'' th pause wasn't timed well, if you know what I mean.

The delivery problem isn't that big of an issue, it's just lacking a bit of emotion, that's all.

That said, I still like your verse, it's not your best, but it's good. Now if you would tweak the flow a lil' and rerecord it with some more emotion in your delivery, well, then it will sound way better.

Still, an enjoyable track Dubs. Keep up the good work.
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Re: Life Is Unfair

Postby Emadyville » Dec 30th, '09, 00:54

slimsoxshady wrote:Pretty sick bro, I think you paused too much before "upright", the first pause was spot on, but ithought the second time sounded awkward. Delivery fit the beat tho. You say the first dude is from Maryland? He sounds familiar to me, whats his rap name?


Travis K or Tragik

mcZu wrote:I think the problem people might be having with your flow and delivery lies in the timing of your flow at some spots and your voice didn't really blend in with the beat. Like ''Kurt Kobain in my .... dorm'' th pause wasn't timed well, if you know what I mean.

The delivery problem isn't that big of an issue, it's just lacking a bit of emotion, that's all.

That said, I still like your verse, it's not your best, but it's good. Now if you would tweak the flow a lil' and rerecord it with some more emotion in your delivery, well, then it will sound way better.

Still, an enjoyable track Dubs. Keep up the good work.


thanks guys, yeah idk I honestly liked how it flowed, I thought the pauses sounded real good, and I am definitely one to admit when I thought it sounded off. All I know is my one friend said the same thing then listened two more times, and said he started to feel it more. So idk haha but I do appreciate you guys listening :y:
Menzo wrote:Its cuz you're dope and Daddy Dubs. No one fucks with that


I love you Daren
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Re: Life Is Unfair

Postby _Ironic_ » Dec 30th, '09, 04:59

diggin the beat and sample..pretty dope.

flow was too spaced out..very basic, doesn't really catch my ear.
lyrics again were pretty basic..nothing too complex in here.

delivery was pretty good, coulda been better, but it's not bad..I guess if the flow was upped this coulda been better..

work on your overlays...I only heard you use them like once or twice..almost every line should have an overlay to keep the listener interested..also try to work on your punchins.

lol@autotune...it's pretty decent..not very professional sounding, but you got the jist of it.

keep droppin, this wasn't bad homey

7/10
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Re: Life Is Unfair

Postby Emadyville » Dec 30th, '09, 05:08

_Ironic_ wrote:diggin the beat and sample..pretty dope.

flow was too spaced out..very basic, doesn't really catch my ear.
lyrics again were pretty basic..nothing too complex in here.

delivery was pretty good, coulda been better, but it's not bad..I guess if the flow was upped this coulda been better..

work on your overlays...I only heard you use them like once or twice..almost every line should have an overlay to keep the listener interested..also try to work on your punchins.

lol@autotune...it's pretty decent..not very professional sounding, but you got the jist of it.

keep droppin, this wasn't bad homey

7/10


yeah i normally use overalys over everything, but this song I didn't want to because of the verse, it's supposed to be somewhat depressing in a sense, based on the hook and everything. And I'm not autotuned, it's just travis k, thanks for the feed :y:
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I love you Daren
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