Jay Tunes - So Fresh (Feedback)

[Jay Tunes]

Youtube: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iJDdVDvdpMU
Listen/Download: http://hulkshare.com/r4ucqzkds2wa



Lyrics:

I go in! harder than u ever been, spit fire like I stay drinking gasoline
My swag mean, i be killing shit up like a pissed wolverine
Im a rapping machine, good ass music its just part of my daily routine
Get on my level, you need 20 ladders and a big ass trampoline
Im a monsta you better look under yo bed
Be scared of me, shit I ont blame you go ahead
Ima be over here chillin tryna get some bread
After I tell ya ugly girl that I ont want head
Stupid motherfuckin flow like my brain dead
My rhymes so nasty i wanna throw up (asdfghjkl;')
Holy fuck I think my mic is about to blow up
Giant for you niggas, take some vitamins and grow up
No im not on the top, im little bit more up cause im im im im…

[Hook]

And I was out for a minute, this is just a warm up
Still strong like I done like a hundred pull ups
Ripped another beat, fuck ill have to get it sewed up
And no, im not with young money, but I do it big
Hot as mofocka, bout to take over ya dig
You cant deny the swag boy u just gotta admit
They say music is life, and motherfucka I wanna live
doing what I do, dressing like I do
You cant stop staring when I walk my ass through
Never seen fresh like this, no dejavu
Kicking shit nigga, master in kung fu
Niggas about to start hatin, they just motivatin
Im on my cocky shit, im too elevated
I don’t wanna hear devatin cause im im im im…

[Hook]

[Outro...]


APPRECIATE THE FEEDBACK!

LoF: viewtopic.php?f=38&t=108637&p=1545655#p1545655

[Tranquil]

First off i hate the term swagga, its over used and shit, and i didnt like the hook that was there, didnt like the auto-tune really.... BUT! your verse's are fire man

I loved the wolverine line, and i like the multis you used in the first part of the 1st verse, toward the end it kinda got a little stale imo, like you lost your motivation half way through the first verse, but the end is still aight.

Your flow was insane man, you rode the beat really well and had me bobbing my head Overall this is an alright little track, 4/5

Oh and btw the cover made me laugh when i first saw it, hahaha good work man

[Jay Tunes]

thanks man yeah i knoe mad ppl dnt like it i really dont even use it but i just like the beat so i was like ima go in ! dgaf lmao ... but i feel ya anyways thanks for checking in it out appreciate it

[Trimss]

Dude your flow was crazy! Really liked it and the chorus didn't bother me, it's not like you were really singing or rapping with autotune so, it's just a hook.

First verse is crazy, i like it more than the second even if both are good.

[Scrubz]

Flow was great, rhymes were good and you sound good as well. Good production and beat was nice. But I the thing i dont like is how generic it was. Sounds like you should be in young money, not very original.

The mechanics of the song was great dont get me wrong, but the song itself was not my cup of tea.
Kepp at it, your a good rapper.

[Maybe]

I'm sorry, but your lyrics are extremely basic and offer no depth or imagery. In 2 verses and a chorus, you managed to say nothing that stands out. For that matter, the rhymes themselves were very simple, offering no redeeming multies or change-ups in the tone. The flow wasn't bad, but it doesn't in any way make up for the lack of polish on the lyrics.

This song seemed like a carbon copy of the music we have blaring today, and was quite insignificant.

You can definitely rap, and I won't argue that with a bit of work your flow can be very good. Do yourself a favor, don't waste the talent you have on this type of music; you should be doing something better.

[Jay Tunes]

Goodlooks everyone.

- Thats not me on the hook, it came with the beat

- @ Trimss thanks man.

- @Wasnut thanks for listening man, and yeah i really feel ya on the "generic" .... like on some 6'7' type shit

- @Fauxpas thanks man, thats sum nice feedback. but i ont know wat u mean by change up in the tones like if it was all the same "tone" i would sound like im talking in my sleep... and i really dont feel like that was it... i actually work on changing the tone in my bars bc b4 i sounded.. like i was talking in my sleep, or just reading lyrics. Lyrics, being simple... i feel ya, but not " extremly basic" bc feels like ur comparing me to lil b or some wack ass rapper... But really appreciate your feed, next time ima get a point a cross.. talk real stuff or stick to a theme... & talent, damn first time i heard that. good loooks man u really told me something ... hit me up with sum of ur music so i can give u some feedback/see example of what u recommended

[Maybe]

Goodlooks everyone.

- Thats not me on the hook, it came with the beat

- @ Trimss thanks man.

- @Wasnut thanks for listening man, and yeah i really feel ya on the "generic" .... like on some 6'7' type shit

- @Fauxpas thanks man, thats sum nice feedback. but i ont know wat u mean by change up in the tones like if it was all the same "tone" i would sound like im talking in my sleep... and i really dont feel like that was it... i actually work on changing the tone in my bars bc b4 i sounded.. like i was talking in my sleep, or just reading lyrics. Lyrics, being simple... i feel ya, but not " extremly basic" bc feels like ur comparing me to lil b or some wack ass rapper... But really appreciate your feed, next time ima get a point a cross.. talk real stuff or stick to a theme... & talent, damn first time i heard that. good loooks man u really told me something ... hit me up with sum of ur music so i can give u some feedback/see example of what u recommended

There's no doubt that you're talented man, and you definitely have the voice and flow for good music, I just hate to see you waste it on generic songs. What I meant by tone was that the song sounded the same thoroughly, not so much your voice, more the lacking of attention to detail, etc.

I'll post some stuff up soon, and I always appreciate honest feedback.

I wouldn't fret, though. I can tell by what you wrote that you're capable of good songs, mainly because you avoided writing nonsensical bullshit like most people. When you post something new, just shoot me a PM with a link and I'll check it out.

[Jay Tunes]

hmmm i see man. thanks again

[B.A.D.]

hmm.... reading everyone's comments I thought this was going to be some wack ass track, but not man, for what it its I think its pretti pretti good man. I dont think there's even a problem with the lyrics cuz they fit the song 100%. and the flow is great.

The hook is kinda kool, but its no that fresh lol hahahaa. it grows on the listener by the 3rd listen.

I dont know man, its hard to judge on this type of songs, but it sounds pro man, great flow, great delivery, I dig it.

[Jay Tunes]

thanks man, appreciate the feed

[WesTMusiK]

I'm not too fond of the auto-tune and the use of Swagger, too. The hook isn't my cup of tea and the style of the song isn't my style either, but you do it alot better than anybody else using this style of hip-hop.

Good punchlines and great fucking flow, homie. Keep this shit up and you might get me to start using the word swagger, hahah.

[Jay Tunes]

i feel ya. That wasn't me on the hook, it was the producer's so it wasnt me on autotune haha ..
and dont worry man, i got more real shit, songs that say sutten, just tryna get back on my grizz...

thanks for checkin it tho

[_Ironic_]

returnin the feed-


hook is what it is, decent, nothin too special.


your flow is pretty damn good, better than most on this site, slips up a bit but overall good...delivery is decent..doesn't really stand out, but that you don't want it over powered on this kinda track.

the more I listen to the hook, the more I dislike it..it just has no energy.

decent song, nothin too stand out though, i'll check for more of ya stuff.

6/10

[Jay Tunes]

good looks dude