shadows Ft. DaViglio (Produced by Mart85)

[Mr. Chambers]

just a quick track..dunno if its gonna be on Suck It Bitch....

http://www.reverbnation.com/#/artist/ar ... ngs/904120

its the bottom one i haven't figured out how to move shit on Reverb....someone let me know.

everyday i come home from work and know your right there//
ready for my thoughts and hopes...show the right care//
you tell me my drops are dope....broke through my fears//
gives me balls....got me grown... go and fight fair//
but look when we fight....well.....noone fights fairs//
guess i'll be a passionate....and know my minds clear//
i'll switch it up for you...open mind here//
can't take back what i say.....no rewind here//
i can repeat...so you understand the concept//
honest to you....you don't stand for nonsense//
really...we a match made in heaven//
and i really dunno how i have such a blessing//
your understanding when i'm blab my confessions//
and when your demanding i lack my depression//
what you don't do's the actual question//
i love you....and thats back by connection//


when i come home with a clouded mind//
i can always jot a flow with a sound of rhyme//
no matter time i know your about my finds//
every word is truth..i grow plus i'm bound to shine//
every syllable....i can always count on lines//
cuz they don't judge me they fit in around my life//
so if theres darkness...i see my thoughts reflect//
i know its the one thing that won't wrot with death//
plant seeds and watch it flourish to a garden//
money keeps me grounded...but i'm soaring in my bars when//
i drop a sixteens...i know theres never boundries//
not afraid to switch styles for where a better sound be//
you can't ever ground me...so let my skill advance//
and if you can't get my picture..i can still enhance//
i want a deal demand....find where i really stand//
why put money where my mouth be with bills in hand//

[mcZu]

everyday i come home from work and know your right there//
ready for my thoughts and hopes...show the right care//
you tell me my drops are dope....broke through my fears//

The flow was really off there to me, your rhymes hit after the snare hits.

But as the verse goes on you pick it up and start to flow smooth again. Second verse has a way better flow, however, the 15th line sounds rushed. You rushed the last couple of words in that line to hit the snare. Lyrics are well written, heartfelt and you managed to convey your message. Delivery was perfect for this type of song.

My nitpicking on the flow comes from the fact that I've written 2 songs to the same beat. I've listened to that beat more than 30 times, so it's only natural for me to pick up the little flaws.

But I like the song, I've listened to it for 3 times now. However, if you want to use this beat and concept on your next project, I would advice you to tweak the flow.

[Mr. Chambers]

^thank you for the feedback

[B.A.D.]

I miss when Mart 85 beats didnt had tags

whoa, the delivery caught me off guard, this is great, You actually made your voice relate to the song, I dont know if u understand me, cuz on most of your other tracks there's the cocky feeling in your voice, and seemed you where struggling before with that same delivery, but on this one you actually sound passionate, sound real. this is great, the lyrics fit the track perfectly, verse 1 its easy to connect to, deep and emotional first verse, the second verse I like the switch into a bit more methaphorical, that was great aswell.

where was DaViglio?.. never heard his verse

the mixing, its definitively good, but its diferent from the other verse u did , I prefer that one, this sounds more dry, and stoney.

overall: you should've kept this for your tape without showing it yet. cuz its a really good track. the only shame is at the begining ("this is a mart 85, atomic beats")....

excelent.

and also, whats that page reverbnation. nice way to put up the tracks, how does that work?

[Mr. Chambers]

^thank you for the feedback...
and i guess its kinda of like a soundclick, only its more official cuz they can enter you in contests and help get you gigs.

[Mr. Chambers]

buttfuck.

[Solace]

where was DaViglio?.. never heard his verse

Chorus.

Great track

[Tash8]

u got the same issue as me, we're both kinda monotone (but i dont it's a huge issue) anyways liked the delivery, liked the flow, liked everything...good song but i feel like u coulda made it more special if u took more time.

[DƎRDYPK]

word life Tom I really feel you on this beautiful beat
i like it....but i feel you could make it better a bit...maybe add a 3rd verse or something
it just feels like you did this really quick

it's all good though
I'm digging this

[Mr. Chambers]

good looks on the feedback...


@ tash..its kind of what i go for....i ain't a real "Active" person in real life....so i try to convey myself how i am in real life kind of......in a more natural sense

[Tash8]

good looks on the feedback...


@ tash..its kind of what i go for....i ain't a real "Active" person in real life....so i try to convey myself how i am in real life kind of......in a more natural sense

i agree which is why i dont think it's a big issue..

[Mr. Chambers]

^they just don't understand us.

[mart85]

good to hear you on one of my beats, it was great and about the delivery, I think it fits on this track, it went with the vibe of the beat.

[Mr. Chambers]

^good looks, i'm glad the producer enjoys it. thats always the biggest worry

[Weather Man]

A this is sick man keep it up