Eedee ft. Mat Demaz & TripleNineThree - "All Gone" [Single]

[PAINKILLƎR]

THIS WAS FANTASTIC, I liked 9993's verse the most but the whole song was great, pint point flow from all of you. I can't really give you guys constructive criticism since ya'll are more experienced and junk. Great song overall. Can't wait for Phoenix to drop bru.

[Eedee]

My boys listening.

[TripleNineThree]

Thanks everyone for listening. Glad to hear you enjoyed the song and my verse. On my own feedback for the song, I had no idea Demaz could sing that well. Eedee sent that over and i was like ...what?!

[Trimss]

THIS WAS FANTASTIC, I liked 9993's verse the most but the whole song was great, pint point flow from all of you. I can't really give you guys constructive criticism since ya'll are more experienced and junk. Great song overall. Can't wait for Phoenix to drop bru.

9993's verse was great and his mixing/adlibs often make it better. It had sense to rap about god in this one I guess, so the content was also appropriated and on point. GREAT job moafucka.

Eedee, you had a good verse too. Really solid, like everyone said, the storm part sounded a little off but it wasn't actually bothering me and i didn't particularly notice it until Abram said it. (Faggot)

Demaz.. That hook is genius my bro. I loved it. And your verse is fire, one of the best I heard from you..

Will replay.

[TripleNineThree]

9993's verse was great and his mixing/adlibs often make it better. It had sense to rap about god in this one I guess, so the content was also appropriated and on point. GREAT job moafucka.
.

Thanks man. Eedee wanted his verse talking about the end of the world from a scientific standpoint and asked me to talk about the end in regards to sin, the second coming, etc..

[TripleNineThree]

Glad you enjoyed that Geno. I've gotten some good feedback on that part, the effect must have worked!

[Eedee]

Glad you enjoyed that Geno. I've gotten some good feedback on that part, the effect must have worked!

All these Godless heathens feel it sounds familiar.

[TonyTilt]

The song was great! 9993 Your delivery was perfect. Hook & bridge were both also on point as well! Cant wait to hear the tape!

[Mr.DGAF]

Really good song. Your delivery was awesome on this, but I wasn't a fan of the flow. The storm part stood out, but there was a few other lines. Other than that, no issues. Flows not something I worry about with your tracks so I feel like you'll be good.

Trip had my fave verse. Shit was cash (haha). Awesome scheme to end the verse, you've come a long way in terms of pure writing ability. Lot more complexity there. Delivery and all was great, good stuff.

Mat, you had a good verse as well. I actually liked the bridge first listen, and your delivery is really good. Lyrics still a little tough to understand, but that's all I can critique.

The hook...well yeah haha.

[mdemaz]

Wow, thanks for the good looks guys.

Honestly, I wouldn't of reached this pinnacle if you wasn't for you guys pushing me to improve.

Cheers.

No, seriously, thanks a lot, guys; I honestly appreciate it.
I'm not saying this half-heartedly, I'm serious.

I think Eedee's and Triple's verses was better written than mine; mine was just a old verse I wrote ages ago when I was fucking around with flows.

I tried adding a religious theme, the devil won the battle, but there is still hope if we are willing to work for it; we gotta carry on.

Maybe this track came off as a bit cheesy and cliche, yeah, but, surprisingly, it worked.
It's hard to not come off as pretentious sometimes when it comes to songs like this.
I tried not to sound too preachy

[Eedee]

^ I think we made it work, though. I really love how the song turned out. Awesome thing is, IMO, this isn't the best song off the mixtape. :3

[Le Tunisien]

Yoooooo im feeling the hooks its fuckin dope man, mdemaz killed the track honestly...he could have killed it more if he focused a bit more on multi's.....tripple nine was cool too he had a real nice delivery im diggin it, eedee in this track you had a kinda rushed delivery i felt like u rushed some words here and there the flow could have been structured better you know but your delivery was pretty nice ...i think you too should use more multi's

nonetheless..i love the hook yo Great singing mdemaz for real im surprised ,good song guys KEEP IT UP

[Eedee]

Yoooooo im feeling the hooks its fuckin dope man, mdemaz killed the track honestly...he could have killed it more if he focused a bit more on multi's.....tripple nine was cool too he had a real nice delivery im diggin it, eedee in this track you had a kinda rushed delivery i felt like u rushed some words here and there the flow could have been structured better you know but your delivery was pretty nice ...i think you too should use more multi's

nonetheless..i love the hook yo Great singing mdemaz for real im surprised ,good song guys KEEP IT UP

[Willy]

Track was pretty cool, not my cup of tea. I'm going to give you guys some constructive criticism so don't take it the wrong way:

Eedee:
Dont' compromise what you are saying to rhyme, I don't think anyone has ever felt as small as an ant farm because that's a bizarre comparison. Abram was spot on with the flow thing too, the pause in your line throws the listener off in a bad way. I thought it was kind of funny tbh, but your last words before the object crashes into the earth is "What?".. :P

My biggest advice for you is to keep what you are saying conversational.. Your house being torn apart maliciously doesn't paint a convincing picture in the listener's head (does the storm have evil intent?), and no one talks like that. It's clear you just wanted to rhyme with victory, or vise-versa. Also, you are ending your bars in the middle of sentences. Unless it's done correctly, it will sound awkward and is an indicator of lazy writing.

Triple3:
You had the best verse quality and delivery wise, but there's room for improvement. You should have used 'came and went' instead of 'came and gone'.. again it's important not to sacrifice what you are saying to rhyme. If you really want the listener to be immersed in what you're saying then use language that's accessible. I understand what you meant, but it struck me as odd and unnatural. Also, and correct me if I'm wrong, it sounds like your god is using an expandable tooth-sword to slay non-believers? Doesn't sound very nice of him to be honest.

Mat:
I loved your singing on the chorus and you have definitely come a long way since the last track I heard.

I agree with Geno though about toning your voice down. I don't think it sounds unconvincing, but it makes it hard to understand what you are saying. I'd also avoid using 'really' like that... there's little difference between 'cryptic' and 'really cryptic'..execpt for the latter being unecessary bar filler.

[Eedee]

The ant farm line was symbolism. The whole track is an atheist/religious view on the world ending. Sometimes it feels like we're as small as an ant farm, aka, the whole world is being manipulated/watched by some higher power, but we can't quite reach it ("no one I can call"). In the regard in which I was writing/conveying that symbolism, picking an ant farm to compare it to is spot on.

As for the storm being malicious, of course there's no malicious intent behind the storm, but in a human's eyes as their fucking house is being torn apart, yeah, it's gonna look malicious as if it has "no regard for human life". I like to have my lyrics have deeper meanings and use poetic elements, so you have to re-read/listen to get the full effect of what I'm saying. I disagree wholeheartedly with saying it's lazy writing.

Thanks for the feed though.