Belly of the Beast

[Solace]

Whatever.



Link Of Feed: http://forum.trshady.com/viewtopic.php?f=38&t=108543
Download Link

[Verse 1]
Right, tonight's the night so I have to mention how,
I'm sorry...And hopefully my last impression counts,
This mass aggression downs me, surrounds me,
And shows why this cold guy is only apathetic now,
My past depression's stout and I'm lost in the dusk ,
Stocked with disgust, leaving me just nauseous enough,
Coughing up blood, sitting here, my back is bruised,
I'm basked in doom with no exit to this padded room,
These massive wounds won't heal, I'm alone in a corner,
Crying, (chill), hiding (still?), and I'm known as a loner,
Broken, unsober...Tired of the lying and decieving,
'Cause I hate myself with every single fibre of my being,
Tired of the breathing...I smash in the wall,
My fist is bloody but you wouldn't understand it at all,
I panic and crawl, just look how much the pain hurts,
When you're laughing at me and you're pulling at my framework.

[Chorus] x2
(And I'm) Wishing for peace in the belly of the beast,
(So just) Listen to me and the medley of the weak,
(Know that) This isn't free, and I'll never be at ease,
(So just) Rip into me and then tell me I'm a freak.

[Verse 2]
I stand alone in the depths of hell with fractured bones,
You haven't known, never felt what I've had to hold,
Shattered hope, splattered dreams, hurt and dead within,
Straight to the temples would be the perfect medicine,
Learned to shed my skin and let the shark teeth scrape the vein,
Break my shadow with this pressure and let all dreams fade away,
All these days are grey as the paint I've laid decays
I don't who I am anymore, it's time to change my name,
I'm playing mind games...It's hate in prime state,
Searching for the answers to questions I'll never find, wait,
Maybe dead now but was blank in the past see,
And no I'm not okay but I'll thank you for asking,
Seize the day, plead for change, I’ve been driven by stares,
I need the oxygen but I ain’t livin’ by air,
Success is in the cup, and I ain’t sipped on my share,
Recently there's been a need in me to rip out my hair.

[Chorus] x2
(And I'm) Wishing for peace in the belly of the beast,
(So just) Listen to me and the medley of the weak,
(Know that) This isn't free, and I'll never be at ease,
(So just) Rip into me and then tell me I'm a freak.

[Verse 3]
Fighting to breathe, life’s quite frightening to me,
When I look in the mirror, no, I don’t like what I see.
Writing to ease my stress and my bottled emotions,
Sea of darkness, I’m drowning, lost in this ocean,
Everyone around me is my enemy,
And you’ll only ever see the guy that I pretend to be,
Fuck the memories…I guess I’ll never learn to listen,
Waiting ‘til the day that I die or I turn up missing,
I may have burned some bridges but this hate, I'd stop it, end...
Hard to cope, dropped the hope and had a loss of friends,
The pain stops my brain watch as I pour like raindrops,
And I'm still stuck in the same spot,
I'll go through with this but you’ve gotten me nervous,
Don’t try to stop me…No…I’m not really worth it,
I’m cocky and worthless, this where my patience ends,
It’s clear you’ll see, I’m here for me and not for making friends.

[Chorus] x3
(And I'm) Wishing for peace in the belly of the beast,
(So just) Listen to me and the medley of the weak,
(Know that) This isn't free, and I'll never be at ease,
(So just) Rip into me and then tell me I'm a freak.

[classthe_king]

First all, that cover art is awesome.

But dude, this was much better You're really improving

I still don't like that hold rhyme but it's all good haha, chorus was really good actually. Your flow was pretty good and I was diggin that delivery. Lyrics are great obviously. One thing I will say though is try and say your rhyme's the same each time. Like if you enunciate one syllable of a rhyme once do it on the rest of the rhymes with that word or if you say one rhyme slow don't say it fast the next time. I hope you get what I mean lol

[NicoleEM]

Maybe it's just me ,but some words seems sloppy?like your skipping some letters on some words?Dunno if it makes sense.I like the flow and the lyrics,tho it appeared u rushed in in some parts to catch with the beat.

[Solace]

Thanks Class...And yeah I understand what you're saying, don't worry.

Thanks Nicole, I think you're just noticing how much I slur lol. Thanks for checking it.

[Emadyville]

Not a bad track, I think the main thing you need to work on is not sounding monotoned. You sounded exactly the same throughout each verse, but I've been there too, just takes time to learn and progress

The flow was decent, but it was very noticable you were reading lyrics and probably didn't practice this a lot before recording. The first verse was the best flow wise, the second started with a lot of rushed parts to catch up, and third was decent too but you rushed at the end as well.

I liked the hook, maybe use some layering to make it stand out more as well as trying to have a different delivery so it stands out as well. Also, one thing I've learned for writing hooks, is to try and make the structure different then your verses. Your hook sounded just like the verses because of the length of each line, as well as the same delivery, but just a tip to maybe try and make the hook different in structure. I hope that all made sense, if not, lemme know I'll try to explain it better.

The lyrics themselves were pretty good, somewhat depressing, but they were hard to "feel" because of your delivery. Basically, not putting in enough emotion makes lyrics less believable imo. What Class said about saying the rhymes the same way was also a good piece of advice

Overall solace this def wasn't bad, you're on the right path, just work on some things individually and once you start becoming comfortable with each aspect of a song it'll just build on itself and start all coming together

[Vettori]

The writing was sick, your getting better..But again quality ruins it.. You should be more energetic.
and less adlibs. they make it sloppy


Cool song man

[Solace]

The flow was decent, but it was very noticable you were reading lyrics and probably didn't practice this a lot before recording. The first verse was the best flow wise, the second started with a lot of rushed parts to catch up, and third was decent too but you rushed at the end as well.

I dunno I feel the flow on the 1st and 2nd were well done, and the third wasnt because I didnt write to that beat. Sad thing is I wasn't reading the lyrics (memorized) and I practiced these quite a lot before the final recording.

I liked the hook, maybe use some layering to make it stand out more as well as trying to have a different delivery so it stands out as well. Also, one thing I've learned for writing hooks, is to try and make the structure different then your verses. Your hook sounded just like the verses because of the length of each line, as well as the same delivery, but just a tip to maybe try and make the hook different in structure. I hope that all made sense, if not, lemme know I'll try to explain it better.

I understand that, thanks.

The lyrics themselves were pretty good, somewhat depressing, but they were hard to "feel" because of your delivery. Basically, not putting in enough emotion makes lyrics less believable imo. What Class said about saying the rhymes the same way was also a good piece of advice

I was going for depressing so I don't see why I'd have an extremely energetic voice And yeah I'll keep that advice in mind.

Overall solace this def wasn't bad, you're on the right path, just work on some things individually and once you start becoming comfortable with each aspect of a song it'll just build on itself and start all coming together

Definitely bro thanks for indepth feed

The writing was sick, your getting better..But again quality ruins it.. You should be more energetic.
and less adlibs. they make it sloppy


Cool song man

As long as I'm improving bro lol

[Scrubz]

So the lyrics were good I really liked them. It was a decent track all in all il just tell you things I think you need to work on:
1. Flow- it's choppy and off at parts but all you really need to do is practice an fine tune it. You have flow just gotta prefect it.
2. Your delivery was pretty boring, put more energy into it. It woulda like your just reading of a price of paper.
3. Your recording sounds pod but you have very little emotion, I takes a while to actually feel comfortable and truly get into to what your raping. Right now it sounds like your just talking. Keep trying different styles and use which one works best for you.

All in all you just need practice, you got skills just need to refine them. Good shit Jimmie keep it up! And please peep my new song and leave some feed back! Thanks bro!

[WesTMusiK]

The flow was good for the most part, sometimes it sounded kind of sloppy.

Your delivery was good but just try and enunciate words better.

The lyrics were to me, pretty damn amazing. Very poetic.

Overall it's a above average track man just work on some stuff and clean your flow up and you got a pretty fucking dope path ahead of you.

[DƎRDYPK]

this is pretty decent bra
nice to hear you finding your sound
I like how chill your delivery on here is
your mixings a little rough but its whatever
keep at it

[Mahmoud48]

honestly i didnt think u were this good
i like the imagery and your vocabulary
and the ryhmes are good
the hook is amazing to

[Xray]

Haha...everyone is making covers for their songs these days. Ax-D started that shit, y'all needa pay up. Nah I'm messing, I like the font that you used, looks sick. About the song, I can't listen to it atm cause I haven't installed my soundcard yet, but I'ma feed your lyrics for now.

The lyrics are too much of a self let down imo, I mean technically it looks good and it flows good, but you're saying shit like "When I look in the mirror, no, I don’t like what I see." that shit ain't right my dude. I have days where I feel that way, and I'm sure most of us do, but it's wrong to make it public. That kind of stuff is self damaging and makes you look amatuer when you say it on a song. Because you are showing a sign of weakness to everyone listening, and I'm sure no one wants to hear someone hating on themselves. I used that line as an example cause that's how most of this song is, it's a huge emo song that you don't even need, nor in your art, neither in your life. I know you're just expressing your feelings, but son, you got a lot of potential in writing especially, and you don't need that kind of attitude dragging you down like that. I've done the same thing before, and it didn't benefit me, besides a couple of people saying they felt the song, but secretly inside I felt like a big pussy. And work on making your lyrics smoother to spit, and add some character in it, cause that shit felt like reading a dead persons verse. Not enough life and character and too much feelings. Technically it was very good though. Just stop wasting your time with these bullshit topics.

[Mr. Chambers]

^but thats what make an artist. its them being able to express themselves, their thoughts, feelings, and environments around them, whether it be music, drawing/painting, or some other mean.

[Xray]

Tbh my post wasn't even concentrating on his lyrics that much, it's morely concentrating on him putting himself down, and no artist should do that.

[Block]

^but thats what make an artist. its them being able to express themselves, their thoughts, feelings, and environments around them, whether it be music, drawing/painting, or some other mean.

I agree. Honestly, I loved the lyrics. But I agree with xray that you need to make them easier to rap. That comes with learning how to write to a beat better. That all comes in time. You're on the right track, man. You're only 15 or 16, right? Keep this shit up. You can only get better. And your lyrics are already above most. Anything you're lacking right now can only be learned through time and practice.

In contrast to what xray said, even though I know he has good intentions, don't ever change who you are as an artist unless you feel it's right. Personally, I love emotional songs. Sadistik, eyedea and slug are known for them.

And who produced this? The beat is amazing.