Jay Tunes - Whatever Life Brings

[Jay Tunes]

Ya wanted some real shit (check the other song i posted up tho, my homies want feed )
Well this is the first song i wrote/recorded after a long time of not rapping..
I'm not really feeling it flow/delivery wise..... and my mastering type weak bc i didnt do it for a long time... but here ya go:

LISTEN/DOWNLOAD:
http://hulkshare.com/dntktf9e3rhf


Lyrics:

S-so I woke up this morning, felt like writing and recording
So im here spittin shit that is real and never boring
Somedays I feel like im on top soaring
And others I feel way below, like im in hell exploring
Friends are telling me that im not same
That im just jay tunes, aka the lame
Im starting to believe it, and im the one to blame
The truth is im just tryna get a name, but I don’t want no fame
Im a lyrical beast that needs to be tamed
Haters wanna bring me down, so at my heart they aim
Im full of emotions sometimes I don’t wanna have
Like being alone, me minus you.. just do the math
I dont trust people, like what the fuck is the catch
Im so hurt but I put a fight, and try to win the match
And I try to be the best at everything I do
I try to stay real on every single rap I do
I just try to be no one but the man in the mirror
When I think about it,it makes my crazy dreams seem nearer
And I just smoke so my thoughts get lil clearer
But I might quit since music is a lot better
There’s a meaning behind every syllable and letter
Some cats don’t like my songs, but I don’t care it doesn’t matter
I already know that you aint better, plus im a go getter
And im much clever, and ima be myself forever
Cause that’s really just how I think
Live life cus itd cou be gone in a blink
Random thought.. uhmm I really wanna get inked
But don’t get distracted, lets get back on topic
Once someone told me life is u make of it
So I don’t let no one stop me, im a locomotive
And no im not like them I dont mention money
Cause saying Gucci, loui, prada makes me sound phony
Im still sick buddy, and keep my head up like my nose runny
That’s just how its gonna be, im here to stay, yeah I paid the fee
Always me, jaytunes the em cee
And theres more to me than the eye sees,
and theres more meaning than the ear listens
throw shots at me, shit, I can take the dissin
cause ever since I started I was in it for the music
shes my only lover, so her lips I be kissing
cause girls nowadays just want my dick
they jump up on my stick, ill give it to any chick
no feelings involved, too many heart breaks made my heart cold
But I don’t fear anything, cause being scared aint my thing
Better times are calling yeah I heard the ring
So im fucking ready for whatever that life brings
(yeah yeah, whatever life brings)


LOF: viewtopic.php?f=38&t=110115

[FreeSpeech]

Sorry dude, you're garbage. Very cliche lyrics, bad flow, no impressive multis, no clever lyrics. Just bad.

[Jay Tunes]

rotfl @ you, never posted in the audio stage forum before, and you come to hate me... no constructive criticism, i wonder whos bitch u are... hehe

[FreeSpeech]

rotfl @ you, never posted in the audio stage forum before, and you come to hate me... no constructive criticism, i wonder whos bitch u are... hehe

I don't rap other than just screwing around at parties and shit, but I can tell what's good. I'm sorry, I did sound a lil mean, but I never hate just to hate. Here, I'll give you actual criticism...
-Your voice is very monotone, no one would want to listen to it. Also, I realize it's not your fault, but annunciate your words, your accent isn't very "attractive" rap-wise.
-Your multis were weak, and predictable. Rhyming words like boring/recording isn't impressive, it's like rhyming words that end in -ion with the "shun" sound.
-You shouldn't have to claim you are "real" it should be evident in the music.
-You never switch up your flow or voice inflections, it's boring.
-You forced a lot of your lines for the sake of a rhyme.
-You brag and talk about things I really doubt you have done (you sound like a skinny 14 yo indian kid, so I doubt chics are jumping on your dick). "Im a lyrical beast that needs to be tamed" mmmm nope dude, you're not. You didn't have a single impressive multi or rhyme scheme.


And way to throw a hissy fit at me saying you suck, when your verse has these lines:

-Some cats don’t like my songs, but I don’t care it doesn’t matter
-throw shots at me, shit, I can take the dissin

[Tash8]

I like how your flow isn't consistently hitting the snare, constantly changing which is great thing to do. Anyways your flow overall is ok, it's not there yet. Ur on beat, but flow isn't just about being on beat, it's a lot more than that and you'll learn soon when u keep working.. Anyways your delivery is laidback which i like. Usually i have a problem with accents but urs sounds sick imo. I just feel u need to memorize ur lyrics so your saying every syllable how you want to, rather than just reading and not thinking how you wanna say it. Lyrically here's my issue

Friends are telling me that im not same
That im just jay tunes, aka the lame
Im starting to believe it, and im the one to blame
The truth is im just tryna get a name, but I don’t want no fame
Im a lyrical beast that needs to be tamed
Haters wanna bring me down, so at my heart they aim

those are amatuer rhymes, they're isn't even another rhyme scheme in there to overshadow the simple rhyme scheme, same, lame, blame, name, fame, tame, aim... not good man, that's not impressive in the slightest..work on that, that's ur biggest weakness in this song...then again though, lyrically u aren't bad, it just seems like u didn't try in those lines, cause I honestly like this line a lot:

Like being alone, me minus you.. just do the math

it's clever, it has a cool metaphor. I wanna hear more of that man

keep it up, and would leave feed on either of my new songs Amnesia or Collie California

[Jay Tunes]

@Freespeech "a lil mean", its the internet calm dowm. If something like that wouldve been your first post (without the smartassness) i wouldve actually maybe appreciated the feedback. But you come outta nowhere, never posting here before, straight to my thread (which was pretty much at the bottom half of the forum bc no one had posted) and sound like a straight hater lol. If you at least posted on other ppls' song afterwards i wouldve thought ok, at least the kid is checking people out now, not just coming at me for no reason... but u looked like a straight dumbass.. idk if i hurt ur feelings on another forum, or who told u to.. but seriously how do you look. and "hissy fit", idk what your talking abt, bc i made it clear it was funny to me how dumb you made yourself look, I could careless if you like the song like i said, in fact i even stated at the top of the thread im not feeling the song myself lol, and your not throwing shots at me in a song, you dont even rap? e.e soooo you make no sense...


@Tash8 now thats feed. i know the lyrics are average, ive only been rapping for like 5 months or so then some personal shit happened so i stopped, and started writing/recording not too long ago but i feel you. and yeah im abt to check ur shit out homie.

[FreeSpeech]

@Freespeech "a lil mean", its the internet calm dowm. If something like that wouldve been your first post (without the smartassness) i wouldve actually maybe appreciated the feedback. But you come outta nowhere, never posting here before, straight to my thread (which was pretty much at the bottom half of the forum bc no one had posted) and sound like a straight hater lol. If you at least posted on other ppls' song afterwards i wouldve thought ok, at least the kid is checking people out now, not just coming at me for no reason... but u looked like a straight dumbass.. idk if i hurt ur feelings on another forum, or who told u to.. but seriously how do you look. and "hissy fit", idk what your talking abt, bc i made it clear it was funny to me how dumb you made yourself look, I could careless if you like the song like i said, in fact i even stated at the top of the thread im not feeling the song myself lol, and your not throwing shots at me in a song, you dont even rap? e.e soooo you make no sense...

How is me saying sorry for hurting your feelings making me need to calm down?

And no, I didn't follow you from another forum, I clicked the "view unanswered threads" page. Then I heard your song, decided it was shit, and informed you of that fact. The reason I don't post in the audio section is that almost every single person I've heard here has been awful. And the only time I rap is just drunken freestyles at parties and shit, I'm in college, I don't waste my time putting crappy verses on here.

I can write infinitely better veerses than you though, with actual multis:

Jay Tunes got offended when I “said he was trash”
“Head up his ass” he can’t see that he’s “pathetic at rap”
He sounds like nerdy little “Indian kid”
Pull even one chic? Nah he just “pretending he did”
His rhymes are weaker than his “wrists”, he’s a ‘Nancy boy’, a “bitch”
Watch me ‘damn destroy’ his confidence, he’s a punk, a “prick”
There’s no chance he even “might get respect”
Hell, bitch, I’ll even “write you a check”
If you do us all a favor
And make your “mic disconnect”

[Jay Tunes]

bc its the internet, you could be some 5'8' kid that doesnt think his shit doesnt stink, who knows? so why would i care or "hurt my feelings"... ur the one thats hella offended bc u look dumb, and replying to watever you call me lmao and ok ok ok, i dont care. you still looked dumb, and that is all.

nice multis, now go to your "parties" and leave the forum where everyones "awful" hehe.

[FreeSpeech]

bc its the internet, you could be some 5'8' kid that doesnt think his shit doesnt stink, who knows? so why would i care or "hurt my feelings"... ur the one thats hella offended bc u look dumb, and replying to watever you call me lmao and ok ok ok, i dont care. you still looked dumb, and that is all.

nice multis, now go to your "parties" and leave the forum where everyones "awful" hehe.

I look dumb by saying you suck? Haha OKKKKKK
And nah 6'1, varsity basketball, etc. But that's pointless to get in to...
Yep, I'll keep just screwing around freestyling at parties, having fun, and getting a degree, you keep recording garbage verses in your room.

[Scrubz]

bc its the internet, you could be some 5'8' kid that doesnt think his shit doesnt stink, who knows? so why would i care or "hurt my feelings"... ur the one thats hella offended bc u look dumb, and replying to watever you call me lmao and ok ok ok, i dont care. you still looked dumb, and that is all.

nice multis, now go to your "parties" and leave the forum where everyones "awful" hehe.

I look dumb by saying you suck? Haha OKKKKKK
And nah 6'1, varsity basketball, etc. But that's pointless to get in to...
Yep, I'll keep just screwing around freestyling at parties, having fun, and getting a degree, you keep recording garbage verses in your room.

im 6'4 220, star qb, 12 pack, 6 girlfriends. I bench 500 lbs and beat up dads for pleasure.

[FreeSpeech]

bc its the internet, you could be some 5'8' kid that doesnt think his shit doesnt stink, who knows? so why would i care or "hurt my feelings"... ur the one thats hella offended bc u look dumb, and replying to watever you call me lmao and ok ok ok, i dont care. you still looked dumb, and that is all.

nice multis, now go to your "parties" and leave the forum where everyones "awful" hehe.

I look dumb by saying you suck? Haha OKKKKKK
And nah 6'1, varsity basketball, etc. But that's pointless to get in to...
Yep, I'll keep just screwing around freestyling at parties, having fun, and getting a degree, you keep recording garbage verses in your room.

im 6'4 220, star qb, 12 pack, 6 girlfriends. I bench 500 lbs and beat up dads for pleasure.

Haha that's why I said it's pointless. I don't really care if you believe me, and I don't play anymore other than pick up, just in HS.

[B.A.D.]

lol, you need to fix your structure, the parts that you flow good its smooth as a mafucka, very comfortable to listen to. but many times you get lost in the structure and flow gets lost and revolts everything.

I'm a bit tired now so I can't be very constructive today, so just try writting less words per bar, focus on the syllable count. (I almost always have the same problem, but the diference is that my flow is very very werid, and well, u hear my other song so...) but you have a natural flow and really feel the hip hop flowing through you. so just fix it up and try to structure it better and you will see wonders.

after that, you have to step it up lyrically. be creative, get some mutlis going, and twist the outcome a bit, make it less predictable.

[°[~CHR!$~]°]

tash summed it up pretty well
im diggin your chilled laidback delivery
tho after a time your delivery gets really monotone...some highlighting adlibs would spice the track up
flow is really good and keeps entertaining..keeps bouncing....the exact opposite of your delivery.. mixing sounds a little thick to me..but thats just preference i guess..