Trimss - One chance

[Trimss]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8Bm0krhc1dQ

This is my second attempt to rap lol. Still not glorious though, i wish i could lose that accent.
But i guess the more i practice the more it will be listenable.
(viewtopic.php?f=38&t=109408 Here's my first work, i think this one is better..)
So the lyrics are still simple but i wrote this at the same time as my first so. Now it's a little better but still not good though.
The quality is not really great, and sometimes the layering is well, shitty. lol
You're warned now !


Beat: Apollo Brown, One chance.

Link of feedback:
viewtopic.php?f=38&t=111930

[Scrubz]

So I listened, yeah your accent can get in the way but its not the major flaw. It's that you have no flow, your just spitting uncontrollable with no rhyme and no reason behind it. When your write you should have the beat playing and really ride the beat. Start simple with just one syllable rhymes hitting with the snare, once you got that down evol it a bit more, multi's half bar rhyming, rhymes whithin a rhyme. But yeah your main focus should be developing your flow because with out that, songs are hard to listen to... like this one. No offense. IF you got the time please check out my ep, listen to the whole thing or just listen to a few, let me know what you think! viewtopic.php?f=38&t=112054

[Trimss]

^ thanks for taking your time, i'll keep in mind what you said and i'll try to improve it next time i try to record or write something.

I'll check your EP today dude.

[i4ill]

Sup' there...I'm returning the feedback.

This wasn't THAT bad for a SECOND attempt; I give you that. I gotta agree with Scrubz though regarding the flow. It's really important to flow properly if you want people to enjoy your song; don't make the vocals sound unrelated to the drums. Lyrics content was cool, I think it's got potential for someone who has just got into audios. Delivery was kinda cool, it's true that the accent wasn't helping, but I DID feel some emotion there and I guess with better quality/mixing you can even sound better. Anyway, keep making music man that's how we all start...You sound 10 times better than me when I first started...Not that I'm a beast now or anything! lol

[Trimss]

Hey,

First off all, thanks for returning the feedback. Then, well, yeah I just got into audios/tracks, to be fair with you, i don't even know how to mix my vocals. I use mixcraft and put the instrumental version and rap over it , i don't even got a good mic. There are no effects such as reverb delaying or things like that, i just tried to layer the "rhymes"

I just began so i hope it's going to be better every time! And i was kinda "ashamed" to ask for help since i know there was a thread who helped for the mixing mastering but i don't find it anymore so..

Thanks dude, i'll keep trying until I get better.

[Instant Legend]

not bad stuff here homie, you can tell you're pretty green on the mic, but you're riding it proper, which is a big plus. now you've got to get comfortable with your personal style. kind of put that brand on it that makes it YOUR sound

good luck homie

check me out

[Trimss]

^ Thanks dude, yeah that's the hardest part lol.

[°[~CHR!$~]°]

yup start with simple flows..try to place ur rhymes on the claps or snares....
from there you can work further... also once you got that on lock
internal rhymes can help build a song or a flow too...

[B.A.D.]

I mean u have good flow by itself, but you need to flow into the beat, like try to guide yourself with it, feel its rhythm, and try to be the melody to it.

there's a technique that beginners can do to improve the flow which is "hit the snare", like divide each of you lines into 2, and make the middle and the end hit the respective snare with the last syllable of each.

try that, see if it works out for you

nice beat choice btw

[Trimss]

Thanks for the advice Big Ax-D, i think it'll help me, i'll try it.

Thanks too °[~CHR!$~]° !

[Mahmoud48]

OMG u have the hardest french accent iv ever heard