Scrubz - S-O-S feat. D-Rav

[Scrubz]

Here's a single off my recently released album "Self Description"(http://www.viewtopic.php?f=38&t=112054). Feed back is much appreciated and will be returned!

Song Title: S-O-S
Artist: Scrubz feat. D-rav
Produced by: Scrubz [TGBProductionz]




http://youtu.be/QAn7KV-U4Mw
(Good looks to FreeDoom and the TMWR)
Reverb Nation: http://www.reverbnation.com/travisblakeslee
Fan me^^

LOF: viewtopic.php?f=38&t=113061

[classthe_king]

I was really diggin this man, you sound much better than you did when I first heard you. The melody in your flow was really interesting and made the song imo. In the begining I thought your vocals were too low but then I got used to it and it sounded good. Keep up the work man.


And yeah, if you want to finish that song with my verse and release it go ahead, I've been wanting to release that.

[Tornado]

Beat was alright apart from the synth sound before the outro but your vocals really overpowered the beat, especially the melody when you started rapping. Thought your 1st verse was a little shaky starting it but as your flow picked up, it made for a smooth verse overall. Thought D-Rav needed more energy in his verse, sounded a bit flat, but overall decent song.

[Block]

Your flow needs a lot of work. I don't mean rhyme schemes (which I'll get to later). I mean, a lot of the time you're stop, go, stop go.. Then stop, go, stop, go speeeeeed up. stop go.

You either rush words to hit the snare or you break words up so that they sound unnatural. You don't do this 100% of the time, just a lot. This is caused by the fact it (seems) hard for you change rhyme schemes while you're writing. By that, I mean you have a very simple A B scheme and when you change to another A B scheme it's sloppy because there's no bar connection made.

You can make a connection by changing these bars, like:

I'm battin lead off, the emcee you feed off
no papers to read off, sit back, brush your feet off
just cuz I look calm on the surface
doesn't mean I am, on the inside I'm worthless

to

I'm battin lead off, the emcee you feed off
no papers to read off, sit back, brush your feet off
we gone, looking calm on the surface
that doesn't mean I am, on the inside I'm worthless

^^^ See how it connects? I've never heard that from you. It would help your flow tremendously.
That's not the only way to connect lines, but you get my drift.. That's the easiest way.

Another thing is that your lines are usually way too short on syllables, or have too many. That's due to the face your flow is very stop and go. But it also CAUSES that stop and go type of flow.

This is an example of what I'm talking about:

just cuz I look calm on the surface

I would have written something like this:

just because I'm looking a little calm on the surface, it's..

By adding syllables your flow sounds more natural and less stressed.

Ehhh, you probably have no idea what I just said.. Moving on.

Your voice. Your voice isn't terrible but it sounds very unnatural. It's like you're forcing yourself to lack emotion. Whispering. All you really have to do is talk loud and then do it to a rhythm.


I'd say work on your rhyme schemes. Try to make your multies sound less forced and work on projecting your voice a little better without the whisper. When I first posted in your other thread I saw a lot of potential in you, which is why I posted saying that you lived close to me. You still have a diss coming, but that's beside the point.

[Scrubz]

@class: good looks. We need to get a hook for the other track, if I think of something I wil run it by you.

@tornado: thanks for the feed man, I will check you track out as soon as I get a chance!

@Block: Well finally an actual feed back from you, it's about time! Now maybe if this happened day one things would be different, but hell that's besides the point. I know exactly what your saying, the conjuction between bars is something that I have been working on recently to keep the flow fluid throughout. In all fairness(not to make excuses) that first verse is quite old(well over a year) as the 3rd verse is pretty recent. And I will try to be more aware of the syllables when I write though I think practice really helps in the grand scheme of things flow wise.

I've only been spitting on a consistent basis less than a year so I'm still developing skills and what not. I'm glad you actually gave me feed without being and dick and I appreciate it. And it's good to hear your gonna answer back, didn't think you were going too.

[Aligator]

dis is really gud. man u gud. u sound like u could make money from dis music shits. u do features wit other dudes?

[Scrubz]

Thank you, and yes I do features.

[B.A.D.]

Thank you, and yes I do features.

lol.. this aligator guy is apparently another user with a fake account.

anyways man, I heard this already on your tape, but non-the less very enjoyable man, wont post the feed again cuz, well... why would I repeat myself haha.. but keep at it man.

[Scrubz]

Thank you, and yes I do features.

lol.. this aligator guy is apparently another user with a fake account.

anyways man, I heard this already on your tape, but non-the less very enjoyable man, wont post the feed again cuz, well... why would I repeat myself haha.. but keep at it man.

ha, thanks ax.

bump for those who have not peeped my ep.

[preest]

right first thing I'm gonna say is that your vocals need to be just a bit lower to make them fit the beat...I think they are just a little loud and just need to be blended a bit so it feels like your part of the beat rather than serperate from it! I thought your rhymes schemes were good, I know Block said that you need to connect certain words better and gave you examples but I dont agree! if people were gonna hate on that how did Lil Wayne become successful lol I think what your doing is good bro, just keep em' coming, the way you say your bars just depends on your style! I think if anything it maybe lacked a bit of emotion and expression, the delivery was good but it kinda sounded bland (no offense lol), maybe just a little bit more GRRRR in your words, a bit more passion!

I know you often praise my music, i dont wanna sound like I'm hating I just wanna give you feed on where I see it could be improved....you dont get anywhere by people lying to you I suppose lol

Keep doing what your doing bro!