Eedee - "Free Fallin"

[Eedee]

YouTube: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1S8RHnZw_JU [Lyrics on the video!]
Download Link (if interested): http://www.looperman.com/tracks_detail.php?tid=112114 [Under the details of the song it'll say "Download Track"]

Hello! I'm a 17 year old rapper from Alaska, trying to get my music out there, and what better way to get feedback then from the fans of my inspiration, Eminem? Produced by Thomas Swanson, I rap three verses. This is my first single, that I wrote when I just got into rap. We have more songs on the way, so keep a look out. Any feedback, comments, opinions, and criticism are welcome, and they'll only make me better! Thanks for listening! Take care, guys.



Link of Feed: viewtopic.php?f=38&t=121643

[Phantom]

love the beat. your lyrics are good all i can say is work on your flow and match it to the beat and youll be good. i hear an eminem influence in your voice. i hear it easily cus i dont listen to him i came to this forum to only post music im not a huge em fan. anyways, good work on this, just work on flow man.

[EyeSpick]

Way to get my hopes up with a Sagan sig and avatar

You need to learn to flow. It will take time and it won't be easy but it will be worth it.

[Instant Legend]

this fuckin beat is just....wildly dope - flowin pretty clean, i might have pulled back on the energy just a tad, but either way, you're ridin the beat proper brother

keep it movin

return the favor please

viewtopic.php?f=38&t=121587

[Eedee]

@ Phantom:

Thanks for the comments! This was one of the first songs I ever wrote after I got into rap, and to be honest, I didn't know what "flow" was. But now I do and my recent writings have pretty good flow (I'd like to think so, at least). I'll post them up as we finish them, so keep an eye out! Thanks again!

@ EyeSpick:

As said above, this was written back when I didn't have a clue what flow was. Sorry about that. But thanks for the criticism and I'll definitely take that into account when I write songs in the future. But thanks for giving it a listen and commenting. Much appreciated!

@ Instant Legend:

Yes, I thought that too when I heard the beat. Thomas Swanson just nailed it. Thanks for the good words though! Feels good to know you liked it. And I'm sort of in a rush, so when I get a free few minutes I'll check out and feed your song.

Thanks again, everyone for the comments! Have a good one!

Eedee.

[mdemaz]

Good start, but then you start missing steps and bars man but you rejoin them again, also you vocals seem to change....Uuuh.....Tone...
Goes from dull to high treble for some reason, I dunno if it's because you used a different mic position of just forgot to use the right settings but that really puts the song into a sorta of weird phase.
The gap after the first verse without any vocals is weird..I'm guessing that this is obviously a demo but it's not a good ideas to pause for so long during a end of a verse lol.

The hook was trippy and interesting, the background music blended with the atmosphere of your falling pretty much.
2nd verse it's FUCKING FUCK FUCK FUCK.
You amp it up a bit and it catches my attention.

After that verse it's just music until it fades.
It's a pretty weird song layout but it's catchy.

Nice piece.

[Eedee]

Good start, but then you start missing steps and bars man but you rejoin them again, also you vocals seem to change....Uuuh.....Tone...
Goes from dull to high treble for some reason, I dunno if it's because you used a different mic position of just forgot to use the right settings but that really puts the song into a sorta of weird phase.
The gap after the first verse without any vocals is weird..I'm guessing that this is obviously a demo but it's not a good ideas to pause for so long during a end of a verse lol.

The hook was trippy and interesting, the background music blended with the atmosphere of your falling pretty much.
2nd verse it's FUCKING FUCK FUCK FUCK.
You amp it up a bit and it catches my attention.

After that verse it's just music until it fades.
It's a pretty weird song layout but it's catchy.

Nice piece.

Wow. Thanks for the detailed review!

And we decided not to have a hook in there so the beat would be more appreciated. Plus it gives it that aura of you just "falling" into abyss... into nothingness, "when will it end?" etc.

What do you mean by the 2nd verse is "FUCKING FUCK FUCK FUCK" ??

And thanks for the comments by the way. Appreciate you listening to it!

[Eedee]

Also I'm not gonna fucking make a new topic to ask this question, but are we allowed to post acapellas up on this section? I looked around and there's no section for them. There's a section for beats to use, but no section for acapellas to use. I have a few acapellas I'd like to get out there if there's a producer who could use them. No rush and no worries if you're not allowed to. Just wanted to ask.

Also, what if we just wanted to post up lyrics for others to see and review and get feedback? Yeah. New here, but learning the ropes, but I'd like an expert opinion on these queries. Thanks!

[Solace]

Lyrics goes into Creative Writing.

viewforum.php?f=24

Acapellas, sure post them in the Audio Stage.

[Eedee]

Lyrics goes into Creative Writing.

viewforum.php?f=24

Acapellas, sure post them in the Audio Stage.

Thank you! Much appreciated!

[Solace]

Aside from that, you're extremely off beat. As others said, you've gotta learn to flow. You just sound like you're rapping randomly and placing the vocals over the beat. You rush everything you're saying, you need to let the rhyme hit the snare and pace yourself man.

Other than you having major flow issues, you actually are not bad. I mean, your lyrics aren't that great, but if you got your flow on lock that would EASILY make up for it. You've got a good voice, and definitely your quality and whatever mixing you're doing seems fine.

So keep at it man, just pay attention to how rappers keep up with beats and you'll get there.

[Eedee]

Aside from that, you're extremely off beat. As others said, you've gotta learn to flow. You just sound like you're rapping randomly and placing the vocals over the beat. You rush everything you're saying, you need to let the rhyme hit the snare and pace yourself man.

Other than you having major flow issues, you actually are not bad. I mean, your lyrics aren't that great, but if you got your flow on lock that would EASILY make up for it. You've got a good voice, and definitely your quality and whatever mixing you're doing seems fine.

So keep at it man, just pay attention to how rappers keep up with beats and you'll get there.

Funny you should say that... haha. I recorded three verses and sent them to my producer (without listening to the beat) and he just put it on one of the beats. This is the product. Not my best work, and not his best work, we have a new track coming soon called "Triumphant" and I'll post it up here, and it's LOADS better. I actually have a structured rhyme scheme and flow on a terrific beat.

Thanks for the feedback man. Appreciate every single review I get! It only makes me better.

And yes, I'll listen and learn and hopefully in time, I'll get better and be worth listening to. But for now... *yoda voice* in the shadows I'll wait until the time is right, yes... mhmm. time is right. *end yoda voice*

[B.A.D.]

If You Want to post acapella's for producers to use, you can do so in either The Creative Lounge or Producer's Lounge under The Studio Section

Listening to Your Track now:

I like your lyrics and the way that you write. But you need to change a lot of things if you really want to keep on doing this. Like the entrie way you approach the song. You leave long blank spaces open, you are very off-beat. Try practicing more, maybe do cover of some rapper's song so you get the flow idea.

[Eedee]

Appreciate the input! My producer and I should have a track finished by tonight called "Triumphant" and compared to this, I'd LOVE to think it's a huge improvement!!

So let's call Free Fallin pre-season and the season opener starts soon