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Eedee - "Triumphant"

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Eedee - "Triumphant"

Postby Eedee » Aug 16th, '11, 07:42

New track is here!! Been working on this one with my producer for weeks now. Had to rewrite, rerecord and remaster a million times to make sure it was just right. :) Feedback is desperately wanted. Thanks for listening and reviewing to those who do!!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jOynxcqSZc4

Lyrics written and performed by: Eedee
Beat and mastering by: Thomas Swanson

Link Of Feed: viewtopic.php?f=38&t=122180

LYRICS:

[Verse 1]

I'm advancing on you like a battalion of Marines,
You enchanted me with your eyes, it's not the way it seems.
prior to my epiphany all I did was desire you,
This tired fool, requires a future rid of the entire you.
Events transpired the opposite of how I aspired to,
in a dire situation here, preaching to the choir, who?
You, you fucking jerkoff, took off without a minute's not-
tice, pissing off everyone who was dear to you!
wanna hear the truth? It was never me to whom,
you gave respect, lacked passion, I was free to choose,
someone who'd walk three miles in my shoes- over you?
Bitch, I'm a lit fuse, just waitin' to blow... BOOM!
Rosie O'Donald just took a flight to Hawaii,
And you said I'd only be dope when pigs fly...

[Chorus]

I'm tired of you always holding me down,
I'm fired up now cuz you're counting me out,
Fighting my way out, gotta give myself a chance,
You've been holding him back, he's gotta let himself advance.
Can't deal with your shit, gettin' outta your grip,
My voice drips of unrest, time to flip this script,
I'm stuck in the crypt, dealt with enough shit,
You're stripping me bare, this is my life, I am triumphant

[Verse 2]

Yup, so there I go, walking right out your reigns,
Your pheromone's putrid, hatred coursing thru my veins,
Our love was in vain, caved in, you hated my name!
That wasn't even FUCKING good enough for ya, was it, dame?
Trying to get over you, this shit is over due,
I'm a Freeman now, so what the fuck would Morgan do?
Boardin' up these windows in strict accordance to,
The importance of being alone in the dark with shortened noose.
What the FUCK am I saying? I'm better without you!
From you sprouts my bad side, there's evil throughout you!
Oh, sorry, I can't talk, not sure I was allowed too!
you clouded my judgement, this is a jail, I'm breakin' out!

[Verse 3]

I realize now I loved rap more than I loved you,
Shame isn't it, babe? Shove THAT up your retentive ass!
Oh, I need to learn manners? Am I too trashy for your ass?
I'll teach YOU to fuck with me, yeah, how's that for class?
I think you were just jealous I held the pen more than I held you,
Who's fault is that, bitch? Maybe if you were more selfless,
I'd be more zealous and helpless,
that's what you wanted isn't it, you fucking filthy succubus!
I've cried too many tears over your sorry uncaring ass,
I've tried to semi-pierce your wall of lies, the glaring facts
were right here, written down onto my sheet,
it's quite clear, spittin' rhymes unto the beat,
is what I truly love, you were just a side attraction,
Leaving you is like fucking addition by subtraction.
You're just an abstraction, our contraction was redundant,
the feeling of weight lifting is abundant, finally I'm triumphant!
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Re: Eedee - "Triumphant"

Postby JamaicanPattlez » Aug 16th, '11, 08:06

It was a nice track. :) Unfortunately again, I gotta say work your flow! However, HUGE improvement! :y:
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Re: Eedee - "Triumphant"

Postby Eedee » Aug 16th, '11, 08:11

JamaicanPattlez wrote:It was a nice track. :) Unfortunately again, I gotta say work your flow! However, HUGE improvement! :y:


You know what... haha. Flow can go fuck itself!! GRRRRR

Thanks for the feed though, man.
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Re: Eedee - "Triumphant"

Postby JamaicanPattlez » Aug 16th, '11, 08:19

Eedee wrote:
JamaicanPattlez wrote:It was a nice track. :) Unfortunately again, I gotta say work your flow! However, HUGE improvement! :y:


You know what... haha. Flow can go fuck itself!! GRRRRR

Thanks for the feed though, man.

Haha hey man, flow's important! You don't wanna be like Bizarre! :p It's nice though, don't worry. Keep that.
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Re: Eedee - "Triumphant"

Postby Joel Venom » Aug 24th, '11, 07:11

i agree with the dudes above, you need to work on the flow. the concept was nice and so were your lyrics just fix the way you drop on the beat a bit and you should be fine.
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Re: Eedee - "Triumphant"

Postby RainMan44 » Aug 24th, '11, 22:09

This wasn't bad, the lyrics were good...the structure was good too.

I'd say just a BIT of improvement on your flow and you'll be good. But it's not like you're completely off-beat or anything. It's listenable.


Feed mine please?
viewtopic.php?f=38&t=123542
"This dude doing this interview wants me to spin a few,
Lyrics while I tie my tennis shoes in the nude
A romantic interlude in a livin’ room,
In an inner tube with a dude with a bit of lube
Fuck that I’m sniffin’ glue, sippin' gin & juice,
And a little bit of paint thinner with my dinner too,
You better pay me for my bars like your rent is due,
Now hurry up and finish dude before I finish you."




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