Cry Me A River Freestyle

[TJMarrs]

This is a freestyle I did a few months ago after me and my girlfriend broke up. I was sort of in a dark place and came out with this. So check it out and let me know what you think and any advice is appreciated.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cg1Jo2ZB-FI

Feedback: http://forum.trshady.com/viewtopic.php?f=38&t=131264

[Cobo Black]

I'm assuming we have different definitions for the term "Freestyle". Its not bad for a written, but you definitely sounded like you were reading something. Since it was you just spitting over a beat with no real mixing, its excusable but you definitely need to work on your delivery and your timing.

The lyrics are there, very talented, good multi's you got your thoughts across well....I liked. Just work on your delivery and I would re-title it to something other than "Freestyle"...your gonna confuse people to thinking you thought of it all as you went along and that doesn't work when one of your delivery problems is you delivered it as if you were reading it.

I can't explain it other than it was too cohesive, no filler words, rushed in some spots, etc. I've freestyled most my adult life, won most battles i've ever been in and there are tale tall signs of writtens and free's. Other than that, again..it was a good written..just work on the delivery.

[TJMarrs]

I'm assuming we have different definitions for the term "Freestyle". Its not bad for a written, but you definitely sounded like you were reading something. Since it was you just spitting over a beat with no real mixing, its excusable but you definitely need to work on your delivery and your timing.

The lyrics are there, very talented, good multi's you got your thoughts across well....I liked. Just work on your delivery and I would re-title it to something other than "Freestyle"...your gonna confuse people to thinking you thought of it all as you went along and that doesn't work when one of your delivery problems is you delivered it as if you were reading it.

I can't explain it other than it was too cohesive, no filler words, rushed in some spots, etc. I've freestyled most my adult life, won most battles i've ever been in and there are tale tall signs of writtens and free's. Other than that, again..it was a good written..just work on the delivery.

Thanks for the feedback. Maybe my delivery sounded a little amateurish so I will work on that. And I was rushing to post this yesterday before I went out and wasn't sure what to call it because it isn't a full song so I just stuck with freestyle. But thanks for the tips. Appreciated

[Cobo Black]

No problem, return the favor when you have some time

viewtopic.php?f=38&t=130687

[°[~CHR!$~]°]

i agree with delivery...could need some work..in your case some thick cockyness get me?
and and those filler words are a good idea..cuz you had too many breaks..like a stop and go flow
but your flow actually goes pretty nice with the 808kick (i guess what it is)..anyway
and you got some swag in your voice.. make it more present and u good to go
not a bad drop..not an excellent drop..but worth listening

[mdemaz]

A lot of background noise haha, quality isn't soo good, but your voice is pretty cool, but you go off beat a lil' bit..
You gotta try to keep the flow consistent..Trust me, it may sound boring when you rap at the same speed, but it sounds better and you can spit double-time in between milliseconds anyway..

Anyways, pretty good freestylish track, keep elevating.
I assume by freestyle, you mean premeditated..

I ain't even mad doe.