A track I'll be sending off to Shady Records soon

[4NorthTL]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X98-etGdos8

Edited by mod:
Feedbacklink: viewtopic.php?f=38&t=142385

[4NorthTL]

Bump, I think this just got approved.

[B.A.D.]

remember to post your feedback links bro

[iain08]

Love your delivery and flow, but the actual quality of your vocals bring it down. It sounds a little robotic or something.

Beat is great, you have a good singing voice too.

The bridge is catchy as fuck for some reason.

[Steve Spag]

Pretty good track, delivery is good, flow is nice, lyrics are pretty decent. Only thing I can complain about is the mix, it just seems to dull, needs to be more powerful. The vocals are too low I think, and lacks some bass. Keep at 'em man, I wouldn't be holding my breath in hopes to be getting signed to Shady but keep practicing.

[Eedee]

I'd have to agree with everyone. Lyrics were good, had a nice concept/flow going on there, just the whole clangy, metallic robot effect on your vocals really threw it off for me. Maybe if you re-do it with your raw vocals, add some EQ or compression on it it'll sound better. Nonetheless, it was an enjoyable song and best of luck with Shady Records!

[4NorthTL]

Yeah, 2 things with the autotune effect.

1. I'm not an aspiring rapper, I don't really want that, I just want to be a songwriter, composer. My goal is to write a catchy verse/chorus/verse, built around strong lyrics that tell a story. I am not a producer, and do not have the equipment to properly produce a song, so my only goal is for people to hear the song for what it could be with proper production.

2. I almost have to autotune because I'm a single dad, and use a 20 dollar gaming mic from Wal-Mart, lol. Therefore the raw voice is too loud and all you hear is clicks and pops because the microphone is of very low quality. When I use autotune, I usually use detuner, which eliminates the white noise. On this one I used something called Aural, which does give it a different feel to the voice. I'll try to re-record this one and use something different. Thank you all for the feedback. As a songwriter, most of this feedback makes me feel good, because the only complaints were related to production. I'm well aware the production blows!!!! lol

Pretty good track, delivery is good, flow is nice, lyrics are pretty decent. Only thing I can complain about is the mix, it just seems to dull, needs to be more powerful. The vocals are too low I think, and lacks some bass. Keep at 'em man, I wouldn't be holding my breath in hopes to be getting signed to Shady but keep practicing.

Yeah, my mix is pretty limited. I don't have the patience to make a beat that is anything more than 16 bars and then loop it. I have a demo version of FL Studio that I learned how to manipulate, so I can't really do anything then basic beats. Like I said just above, I'm extremely limited because I'm always broke, and do the best to let the song withing the song speak for itself. Thanks for the feedback.

[Tash8]

pretty nice track

Out, so he locks himself in the house, in his room
He's consumed, ever since he left the womb he's doomed

have you heard soundtrack 2 my life hahah?

there's a few other lines that i can relate to eminem, especially that first bridge, but regardless of all that, nice song..

[Le Tunisien]

i prefer this with proper studio quality than yela wolf

[Nefarious]

This was written nicely i just dont like the way your voice spit the words out lol, probably the autotune thing people were mentioning, but i noticed something you were doing with ur voice aswell that was just a bit irritating to my ears, very solid track though, something about it reminds me of younger eminem maybe the beat or the voice i was hearing.

[4NorthTL]

This was written nicely i just dont like the way your voice spit the words out lol, probably the autotune thing people were mentioning, but i noticed something you were doing with ur voice aswell that was just a bit irritating to my ears, very solid track though, something about it reminds me of younger eminem maybe the beat or the voice i was hearing.

Yeah, IMO my voice is too high pitch, even though Em, Wayne, etc. all have high pitch voices, I just personally can't stand my own voice, lol. Like I said, the autotune thing is a must because of the quality of the mic I use, but I used one in this song called Aural which gives it a metallic kind of feel to it.

If anyone is wondering what this song is about, it's about envy of the person you could've been. It's about not living up to the expectations that people rightfully put on you. When people are comparing the person to another man, that other man is who everyone thought he was going to one day become. The second verse makes it try to sound like he's sneaking in to murder this man he envy's, but he's actually committing suicide, because he envy's himself. Then the small break is the sounds of hell after he shoots himself, and it snaps back into reality and the third verse describes the effect his death had on those who loved him. The end of the song tries to put a positive spin on things, like you can listen to this song and find strength when all seems lost, which brings you back to the bridge where the man is speaking to his mother about the true meaning of his writing. Anyways, I'm going to try and re-record this one without the strange autotune. Peace.

[Epidemik]

good track

lol the first bridge reminded me of Bone Thugs

[Vettori]

You need better quality, because of it it may be the reason its sounds nasily, I hate using that word but it best describes it. You have Good structure on the first verse, very clean. I'm not a fan of the way the chorus sounds. The words where good, maybe look for someone locally or try to network with a good vocalist.

As for the rest it's sick, You think in depth which is good.i can tell from the verses.

pretty cool song