First rap ever recorded

[Nick419]

Alright guys as you can imagine I'm kind of nervous to see what kind of response i'll get. I just bought a mic this week and just so happened to come across a commercial on BET that they're having a competition to submit 16 bars over this beat on video for a chance to be in the bet cypher and tickets to go to the award show. So naturally i figured it was the perfect opportunity to motivate me to record my first verse. Like i said this is my first rap i ever recorded/mixed so don't trash me if u think its terrible lol

feedback - viewtopic.php?f=38&t=146521&p=1939861#p1939861

link - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=es6R-vEl_WY

the rap starts about 30 seconds into the vid. the intros annoying cuz i wanted to start rapping when the beat dropped

[Ka0t1c]

it didn't have volume, no sound at all for me for some reason

[Nick419]

you sure? i've sent it to friends and they can hear it:S

[Ka0t1c]

nvm, my sound is messed up, it was plugged into hdmi when i watched a movie somehow it didn't fix itself, i'll give it a listen then


* it sounds decent, keep it up, some parts you slip at but can be redone. practice more

[Nick419]

thanks man^^ and yeah i can tell i slip up some but the vids for the competition were due today and i worked this morning so i had to do it in one take, edit it, record the vid and live with it or i wouldnt of been able to submit anything

[Ka0t1c]

it's cool you did it, but imo, it wasn't ready to submit, but it is good motivation to do something positive, stay focused

[Solace]

Whattup Yelawolf...Lol.

You have a really good delivery for a bigger, and it really does sound like a Yelawolf thing going on there lol. The biggest flaw in this is that your flow is scattered like you're trying to push too many syllables in a single line. I hope you know what I mean, like pace yourself when you rap. Doesn't sound like you wrote to the beat. If you fixed that up this would be heaps better. Your lyrics were alright, if you posted them up too I think that would help me judge that better but yeah. Keep at it.

[ShAdYTiLIDie]

not bad at all man, the lyrics were pretty good, flow was choppy obviously because you had no time to put it together. Nice man.

[TripleNineThree]

Beat - The beat was pretty sick. It was real hype and I enjoyed that. - 8.5/10

Voice - Your voice sounds alright. It's unique as far as I can tell, I'm not a big fan of it but it's alright. - 7/10

Flow - This was really good considering it was your first track. It was choppy and could be way smoother but pretty sick for your first time - 7.5/10

Delivery - I was amazed by your delivery for the first time. When most dudes are new to recording, they sound like they are reading a book and have no emotion. You had good emotion - 8.5/10

Overall - Goodjob on your first track man. You're gonna do great! - 8/10

Do you mind returning the feed man? - viewtopic.php?f=38&t=146881

[Nick419]

thanks guys, and yeah my friend told me i sounded like yelawolf too. I have no idea why because hes not in any way an influence to me i barley listen to him, i guess thats just how my voice projects. And one reason why I believe my flow was choppy is that i absolutely HATED that beat (well i liked it it just wasnt my style) i just couldn't get my rhythm down to it no matter how hard i tried . But thats the beat you had to use for the competition. Another reason of course is that I'm new to recording and I was in a rush. I'll post my lyrics and return the feedback here in a bit^