Eedee - "Too Far Gone" (ft. Anna) (Prod. by RockItPro.com)

[Eedee]

LoF: viewtopic.php?f=38&t=147423

*Produced by www.RockItPro.com

Song Link: http://www.reverbnation.com/eedee

*Okay, full song... Looking for flow, delivery, vocal quality, lyricism, etc. Thanks for listening!
*It's not on YouTube because this is a demo unless it gets positive feedback so I don't have to re-mix it etc.

LYRICS:

[Chorus] (:11)

[Verse 1] (:34)
I'm sorry babe, it's time I gotta let you go,
It's best you don't fight it, because it's set in stone.
That's why I left a note it's so you wouldn't waste your time,
Sittin' by the telephone waiting for me to say goodbye.
I had to face the lie, our falling out was too great,
The stakes were high thinking of you, the wife that you'd make.
You know I loved you so, we left it up in smoke,
You left me twice broken-hearted, I hope you fucking know
How much pain you caused me, it hurt the breathe,
The clouds would rain with strain of prison but now I'm bursting free.
The fuckin' cursed me, look at my wasted youth,
It hurt to the worst degree but now I'm tasting truth.
You're always in my heart, I hope you feel it too,
I used to think you'd be the girl I'd end up kneeling to.
Now that ring is smoke, our special thing is broke,
I wished for no one, I need someone to sing for hope...


[Chorus] (1:20)

[Verse 2] (1:43)
Now we talk a lot always texting back and forth,
Even snuck out together, oh god, these savage thoughts
Keep invading my mind, and baby, hold me tight,
I'm cold with fright and I do NOT want you to go tonight.
I want you to stay with me, gazing in your eyes,
Intertwined in intense passion the days turn into nights.
Hey, it'll be alright, even though my words are false,
I'll fake that loving smile when I tell you I'm not hurt at all.
Because the truth is, girl, you're fucking ruthless,
You know how to break a guy's heart there's nothing to it.
But something's brewing, 'bout to unleash the rage,
All these years in your prison, this fucking beast was caged.
I hope you meet the grave knowing that you broke my heart,
Burning in Hell rather than strumming on that golden harp.
Rot you fricking bitch, thinking you can do no wrong,
Hear that clock? It's ticking, it's distance grows, you're so gone.

[Chorus] (2:29)

[Verse 3] (2:52)
Now we've got that covered, let me tell you this,
Remember the first time I ever felt your kiss.
It gave me strength to smile, and that shit takes a while
My hearts a few inches wide but that thing raced a mile.
Your blonde wavy hair, it's on baby, yeah,
You are my everything, and you ain't gone anywhere.
If it's wrong, take me there, what's inside your mind,
We thinking the same thing? Let's not fight tonight.
Because you're quite divine, you're like an angel, babe,
I'm sorry to say you held me down like an ankle brace.
With that ball attached, you only weighed me down,
You gave me thoughts like maybe God'll take me now.
We've had our ups and downs, we've went to fucking town,
Even though it sounds wack, gave me a bunch of frowns.
Just know I'm tearing up, and that my throat's tight,
Being with you was so wrong that leaving is so right.

[Spyder]

not my topic matter but thats beside the point... i can appreciate a love song from others.

rockitpro is a good producer, i especially like Cant Back Down also done with Anna. so thats good. hook on here was great as well, but none of that was you so.

lyrics wise, i mean nothing special. but i know your not too advanced audio wise, and i know when i started(even now) i concentrate on the audio technique and that hinders my lyrics a bit. maybe what happened here. its solid, just a lot of simple rhymes and such

flow seems decent, ending on drums and seems pretty good with the beat. you start the multi on the snare, which when i have done that people say idk wtf you were ending on... so im interested to see if anyone criticizes you for this... no problem for me though

delivery was your biggest issue, i honestly dont know if its your voice or what, but it sounds like your a little timid and uncomfortable. some words you say louder than others and it seems like maybe your worried about catching the beat, so your listening for it, then you get confident youll hit it, and get the delivery down.

mixing seemed good.

not bad track sir

[Blu]

Your voice was the biggest turn-off for me tbh. I couldn't really stand it.

That's my only negative feedback lol. I'm digging the dope production tho.

[mdemaz]

This seems like the type of song that needs a lot of compression on the vocals, but you just recorded raw vocals, turned them up and mixed them in.

It's a bit of an outdated way of mixing, but it's a change from the normal shit.
Compared to a few of your other tracks, this is a poor performance vocally.

The lyrics are good as usual, the beat is a good choice as usual, but your presence and delivery just doesn't fit with the beat, it sounds like you are rapping this live.

Well anyway, keep on trying, don't let anyone tell you to quit because you got some serious potential.

I'll cya soon.

[Eedee]

Wtf, my voice? That was my most confident part about this song...

Fuck it, I'll record again and use more compression (I compressed the shit out of them on this one though...) I guess I'll use better delivery too even though that really was my most confident part of this track. Fuck.

[mdemaz]

Rap is hard, lol.

[Eedee]

Rap is hard, lol.

Apparently it's subjective as fuck though. One of my friends loved my delivery/vocal quality on this.

All three of you hate it. I thought it was okay.

FFFFFFUUUUUU

Oh and Spyder, I honestly have no idea what you're talking about with the uncomfortable voice trying to catch up to the beat. I was so fucking comfortable with my flow being on the beat on this one... that I was focusing on delivery. I emphasized some words here and there... maybe it's just the mixing that's making my voice sound timid because I can assure you I wasn't when I was recording it... *sigh*

edit: LMFAO doesn't matter anyway, I forgot to save the mix. I'll have to re-record it anyway.

[Spyder]

well thats just what i got from it man
people have been on me about voice flucuation, but i dont here it cause im obv use to my voice...
so u may not notice in your own voice man

just seemed to me like what was said above

and of course rap is subjective and opinionated where u been bro lol

[mdemaz]

Rap is hard, lol.

Apparently it's subjective as fuck though. One of my friends loved my delivery/vocal quality on this.

All three of you hate it. I thought it was okay.

FFFFFFUUUUUU

Oh and Spyder, I honestly have no idea what you're talking about with the uncomfortable voice trying to catch up to the beat. I was so fucking comfortable with my flow being on the beat on this one... that I was focusing on delivery. I emphasized some words here and there... maybe it's just the mixing that's making my voice sound timid because I can assure you I wasn't when I was recording it... *sigh*

edit: LMFAO doesn't matter anyway, I forgot to save the mix. I'll have to re-record it anyway.

It's just three dude's opinions, but we gave you valid opinions.

I'm not saying that your friend is an idiot, I guess they just enjoy music that sounds anywhere near good, which this track does.

I think the mixing is the biggest issue.

I could sit here nitpicking all day, but I got better things to do, at least your coming out with new stuff.
I haven't dropped anything here since last year, but I've demoed about 9999 songs on my SoundCloud...

[Eedee]

^ I know, man. I got ya. I'm gonna re-record it here soon and play with some mixes of it... Hopefully I'll get a better product this time around.

[ShAdYTiLIDie]

I actually liked this a lot man the rhymes were good and its good to hear a love song every once in a while haha! Your rhyming stayed good while keeping the subject which is nice! Your voice was fine idk what everyone didnt like aout it? I guess I dont have an ear for that stuff. As for delivery I am still confused as to how to judge that lol so no comment there. Overall this sounds pretty good man! Keep it up

[TripleNineThree]

Beat - First of all, I have to say that I love this beat. It's a dark emotional type of beat - my favorite. 9/10

Chorus - I love this hook. Whoever is singing it has a beautiful voice. I love the hook and the emotions in it - 9/10

Quality - The vocal quality sounds really good man! You said you got a new mic right? it sounds great! - 8/10

Mixing - The mixing sounds decent. You could still improve on this. You need to turn your vocals down, they are too loud for the beat imo. You could also work on adding some echoes in the background to make the track sound more "full" and professional. - 7.5/10

Delivery - Some other were knocking your flow and delivery but I enjoyed it. I can hear the emotions in your voice and it makes me "feel" the track and I enjoyed that part of the song. - 8.5/10

Voice - You should experiment with different "voices" when you rap. I don't mean to change your voice and make it unnatural but your voice sounds a little nasally to me. That could be because the EQ on your voice has too much bass and you simply need to pick a different EQ. You should send me the acapella of this track with the beat and let me experiment with EQs on your voice.


Overall - This was one of the best tracks I've heard from you man. Keep it up and keep improving, I'll be on the look out for more material from you! - 8.5/10

Oh by the way man, do you mind returning the feed? Thanks! viewtopic.php?f=38&t=147313

[Eedee]

Thanks guys.

Triple, PM me your email and I'll send you the beat and the acapella. What kind of EQ do you think would be good for my voice?

And btw, I did get a new mic but it was terrible, my old USB mic had better vocals than that, so I sent it back for a refund... cost me $54 to ship... lol. So stupid. So this is my USB mic's vocals. Not bad...

And I'll feed it now.

[TripleNineThree]

Wtf, my voice? That was my most confident part about this song...

Fuck it, I'll record again and use more compression (I compressed the shit out of them on this one though...) I guess I'll use better delivery too even though that really was my most confident part of this track. Fuck.

Hey man, I just mixed your track and sent you the mixed version. It sounds really sick in my opinion, I don't think you'll see the need to re-record haha - it's all about mixing

[ShAdYTiLIDie]

Wtf, my voice? That was my most confident part about this song...

Fuck it, I'll record again and use more compression (I compressed the shit out of them on this one though...) I guess I'll use better delivery too even though that really was my most confident part of this track. Fuck.

Hey man, I just mixed your track and sent you the mixed version. It sounds really sick in my opinion, I don't think you'll see the need to re-record haha - it's all about mixing