Spyder - Hercules Freestyle

[Spyder]

LOF

Hercules Freestyle

alright so liked the beat and DL'ed it, then literally wrote down as fast as i thought no stopping to correct or think, so more of a keystyle but hope u like this quick verse


Here we go, top of the dome show ya how to do proper
Hercules, so Arm Strong I killed the original Moon Walker,
Make jokes about a Spyder on the Web I know dude
But I got a Poison Pen I Host every URL I go to.
Know I’m the little fish in a big pond but I’ll never expose it
Hell of an omen eleven explosives have your skeleton showin,
What choice ya got boy I aint stoppin that Ether
Sight’ll rob your eyes of their moisture with the voice of Aretha,
Comical yet phenomenal creature, I am watchin the reaper
Takin over like Hova, Obama want me to hop on a feature.
Im sick you a common disease brah, all on your knees huh?
Aint ready for whats about to Come like an open Urethra.
Flow so wet in the booth I got a suit for scuba divin
Move like lightning, an elusive Judokan fighting,
Roll with groups of troops like sharp shooters snipin
Crews get chewed when I’m in the mood for bitin.
Y’all rappers pathetic and should be shot up,
Belong in the kitchen with dishes and cook me pasta.
Scared and shook like a bookie want ya like that pussy Waka
But ya look like a Snooki crossed with the cookie monster.

[Eedee]

Here we go, top of the dome show ya how to do proper
Hercules, so Arm Strong I killed the original Moon Walker,
Make jokes about a Spyder on the Web I know dude
But I got a Poison Pen I Host every URL I go to.
Know I’m the little fish in a big pond but I’ll never expose it
Hell of an omen eleven explosives have your skeleton showin,
What choice ya got boy I aint stoppin that Ether
Sight’ll rob your eyes of their moisture with the voice of Aretha,
Comical yet phenomenal creature, I am watchin the reaper
Takin over like Hova, Obama want me to hop on a feature.
Im sick you a common disease brah, all on your knees huh?
Aint ready for whats about to Come like an open Urethra.
Flow so wet in the booth I got a suit for scuba divin
Move like lightning, an elusive Judokan fighting,
Roll with groups of troops like sharp shooters snipin
Crews get chewed when I’m in the mood for bitin.
Y’all rappers pathetic and should be shot up,
Belong in the kitchen with dishes and cook me pasta.
Scared and shook like a bookie want ya like that pussy Waka
But ya look like a Snooki crossed with the cookie monster.

Beat: Wasn't feeling it.

Flow: Way off, as a whole. We can totally tell you wrote this fast and didn't bother to check to see if it flowed well to the beat. There were lines where you sped up to cram in syllables and it sounded like shit. Your verse had some good parts that flowed well, but for the majority it didn't.

Lyrics: Rhymes were nice in places. Wasn't blown away by anything, tbh. You've done better. Tbh, I'm getting tired of your battle lyrics ALL the time. Change it up, dude... The last two bars had nice assonance to them, so that sounded good, however it felt like you botched them when spitting them. You didn't execute the lyrics to the best they could be. They were written well, but executed poorly in the recording stage of the process. You had some good wordplay, obviously playing off Neil Armstrong's recent death... I didn't like the way you used his name. Not the fact you DID use it (I feel anything goes in hip hop), but you could've pulled it off better. You just threw in the name Hercules in there to tie into the play on Armstrong's name and thought it would be better to name the freestyle "Hercules" to make it seem like the "Hercules" wording would sound better. It didn't work. Those first two bars are crap. At first, I almost went "ohhhh shit" when I saw the wordplay but on closer inspection...

Sorry if it sounded harsh, but that's my take on this verse. You can do better, I know it.

[Spyder]

lol ya man this was as close to a freestyle as it gets so not really worried bout the technical aspects lol
thanks for checkin it though

and my next track isnt punches, but if u checked my ep ud know i do more

[Ticalrecords]

i thot it was decent man, your flow could use some work but other than that its pretty cool. you know how to rhyme

[Solace]

Your flow was off the entire time. I don't think it's a good excuse to just say "Well I just scribbled these rhymes down and didn't really edit it" I mean, then that is YOUR fault for not trying to work it. It didn't flow at all lol, it's like you recorded it without the beat and placed it on. You rush everything because your lines are way too long. The lyrics were good, but you really need to work on changing from textcee-ing to writing for audio because it's completely different. Not even close to the best I've heard from you man, make sure you give each individual track attention when you record.

[Kez]

Remind me of Rain Matrix. A pretty great writer of lyrics and punches, but you definately need improvement on the audio side of things.

The beat was alright, but a bit overpowering on your voice.

Your flow was off through pretty much the whole song sad to say. And the delivery sounded like you were forcing it out.

The lyrics were pretty fantastic though. Snooki line was a pisser. So I guess i'll just wait til your next song and see how that goes, since apparently your EP has more and so anything I say here will probably be rebuked with that, as you already did to Eedee.

[Spyder]

thanks for the peep man

my next track should be out tomorrow and i concentrate on the audio side

good to see you feeding on here again man

[Kez]

thanks for the peep man

my next track should be out tomorrow and i concentrate on the audio side

good to see you feeding on here again man

I know man, I never made a conscious choice to dissapear. Work just ate up my time. I had free time and came on here to listen to some of the stuff I missed.