Toughts

[Tomer666]

First of all, I know that I'm not that good and I'm not posting it here to get fans or something, I know that I'm not good at rapping and I'm posting it here regularly to get honest criticism by you guys. But, if you feel like I'm spamming this forum even though I do realize by myself that I'm not so good, please let me know and I'll completely stop posting here.
I fully understand if you guys would wanna keep this forum for people who's already good and keep the development's progress out of here, just let me know.

So, this is the third time I record myself.

Feedback: viewtopic.php?f=38&t=149906&p=2020267#p2020267
Link: http://soundcloud.com/tomer666/bum

Lyrics:
Damnit, it's too hard for me to make it outta here
Fuck it, it's an harm for me, couldn't get me outta here
But I'll roll tough, I'll go rough, I guess a thousand bucks ain't enough!
Won't give up till my motherfucking pockets go buff
Fuck these people who ain't real and go bluff
I close my eyes for one second and all my friends ain't here anymore
I'm ashamed that my people don't want me anymore
I spit blood, so dumb I get rejected by sluts
I'm not doing nothing but listen to rap god - I'm a motherfucking bum

[Eedee]

You pan your vocals to the right ear way too much. Also, your vocals are extremely quiet.

What program do you use to record and mix your vocals? I'd boost your volume on your vocals, maybe add some compression and whatnot, EQ and normalize them. Add layers as well. It'll make them pop out.

Your lyrics are really basic, I know you're not English, so I'm not gonna harp on you too much, you seem to have the grasp of the language and the message you wanna send.

[Vettori]

That beat is cool, You need some sort of mixing/recording software, like adobe audition. or pro tools etc...
Volume of the vocals were too low. Seems like your just in the beggining stages of recording. The best advice I can give is to keep experimenting, and keep trying. It took me a while to get comfortable, Your rap voice needs practice as much as a singer would need to practice their vocals. The more time you invest in this the better you will get. Always aim to exceed your previous work.