Trimss - Fucking Problem 16

[Trimss]

So this is the last thing I recorded.. Still not that great with the pronunciation, but I'm now in uni and I speak english everyday so it will only get better. I think my flow gets better though.. Not like great, but better.

If you feed my song I'll feed back. #Fact

Link: http://www.sharebeast.com/4dwf3ydcf5uk
Feedback: viewtopic.php?f=38&t=150272
Or viewtopic.php?f=38&t=150338

Not right in the head i'm fighting against
demons again with some light on my bed
a damn mic and a pen i'm cypherin my man
Insane this game is suckin blood out of these veins
This shitt is taking my thoughts out of this brain
I'm spittin' a sick sixteen but no one is feelin it
twat I'm back to the lab until i'll be killin' it
Asap fuck this beat I'm heated I'm stealin it
They told me stupid do the music money will come
Bullshit I wanna use it to get it but got no incomes
Addictive addicted Im not even that wicked
I don't know the hood and the suburbs
But don't fuck with me cuz it hurts worse
I'm Ortizin' you faggots, if yoawa nna see me
step your game up lame fucks nothing but a stain fuck
Imma stop the song fuck a good end whut!

[Eedee]

Not right in the head i'm fighting against
demons again with some light on my bed
a damn mic and a pen i'm cypherin my man
Insane this game is suckin blood out of these veins

Loved the rhyme scheme here, your voice came in bombarding the beat, it sounded pretty sick.

This shitt is taking my thoughts out of this brain
I'm spittin' a sick sixteen but no one is feelin it
twat I'm back to the lab until i'll be killin' it
Asap fuck this beat I'm heated I'm stealin it

You slurred these parts, it felt like. Could've been better.

They told me stupid do the music money will come
Bullshit I wanna use it to get it but got no incomes
Addictive addicted Im not even that wicked
I don't know the hood and the suburbs

Your vocals were too loud on this part. I would've put the dB down a bit cuz the beat cut out.

But don't fuck with me cuz it hurts worse
I'm Ortizin' you faggots, if yoawa nna see me
step your game up lame fucks nothing but a stain fuck
Imma stop the song fuck a good end whut!

lol the Ortiz wordplay, that was pretty dope. I liked it.

The beat was nice, the mixing felt solid except for the part I told you about. I liked the rhyme schemes.

[Trimss]

You're absolutely right about the vocals being too loud. I noticed it too but accidentally deleted my Cool Edit Pro file so it has to remain like that. You're right about the part that I slurred too.

Thanks for the feedback man!

[Eedee]

You're absolutely right about the vocals being too loud. I noticed it too but accidentally deleted my Cool Edit Pro file so it has to remain like that. You're right about the part that I slurred too.

Thanks for the feedback man!

I feel you. Sometimes I add effects and shit over something I need to fix and I'm like FFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUU and then I save on accident, force of habit and I can't undo and shit... lol. I totally feel ya.

[Trimss]

man! you really stepped it up, lyrics, delivery and pronunciation!

always on a rise my friend!

and that YAOWA line had me dying

Thanks a lot my bro.

@Eedee, yeah that's really annoying. I wanted to do even more mixing and even deleting some adlibs, but eh. It's like that. haha.

[Vettori]

the beat is dope, You wer'e off at some points, The beggining seemed to slow, or just a little delayed.
Quality is ok, It could maybe use a little reverb. & I found it hard to make out what was being said at certain parts.
Not bad, But I don't feel it has much replay value. Work on You clearity, maybe experiment aa little more with your voice.

[RainMan44]

You started off nicely, the flow was actually pretty smooth. The rhyming was nice, I dug the multies. I feel like you started off strong and ended a bit weak, but you even pointed that out. Nice little touch haha.

The Joell punch was DOPE! Haha. I liked it, for a foreigner you seem to be doing good and you will only get better. I dug this, not something I would keep replaying but it was a good little verse, that got a little lazy at the end. With some more concentrated effort, this can become a solid piece. Good shit though bro, keep pushing.


Mind feeding mine? viewtopic.php?f=38&t=150350

[RainMan44]

You started off nicely, the flow was actually pretty smooth. The rhyming was nice, I dug the multies. I feel like you started off strong and ended a bit weak, but you even pointed that out. Nice little touch haha.

The Joell punch was DOPE! Haha. I liked it, for a foreigner you seem to be doing good and you will only get better. I dug this, not something I would keep replaying but it was a good little verse, that got a little lazy at the end. With some more concentrated effort, this can become a solid piece. Good shit though bro, keep pushing.


P.S, the thing that most stood out to me about this was the "eerie/creepy" tone you delivered it in.
Was that intentional? I liked it.

Mind feeding mine? viewtopic.php?f=38&t=150350

[Buck515]

First off, super props for english not being your native language and still doing the damn thing, and being more lyrical than a lot of people these days. The quality was decent, nothing really stuck out, but it was very listen-to-able (not a word, but you get me). The flow was alright, felt choppy at times, but it wasn't terrible. Overall good drop man, keep it up!

[Trimss]

You started off nicely, the flow was actually pretty smooth. The rhyming was nice, I dug the multies. I feel like you started off strong and ended a bit weak, but you even pointed that out. Nice little touch haha.

The Joell punch was DOPE! Haha. I liked it, for a foreigner you seem to be doing good and you will only get better. I dug this, not something I would keep replaying but it was a good little verse, that got a little lazy at the end. With some more concentrated effort, this can become a solid piece. Good shit though bro, keep pushing.


P.S, the thing that most stood out to me about this was the "eerie/creepy" tone you delivered it in.
Was that intentional? I liked it.

Mind feeding mine? viewtopic.php?f=38&t=150350

Thanks a lot man! Don't think I forgot or didn't want to feed your stuff, but I've been really busy these days.
Yes, I really wanted to make it creepy, dark. I thought the beat should've been use to make a dark song. Like when I say "Some light on my bed" I don't know, I just think it sounds eerie.

I'll feed your piece!

[Block]

Did I hear the wrong song? I heard 'catch 22' and it sounded like a black dude..