Eedee - "My Song" [Week 6]

[Eedee]

LoF

YouTube Link

Week 6 of 8

Sometimes it feels as if I'm not cut out to live this life
It's just my whole persona every day, nothing feels this right.
I hate myself, I hate my hair, I hate my walk, I hate my voice
I face this breath with anxious stares, I barely talk so face this void
with every single feeling that is dwelling deep within me
I need to keep it bottled up, I need to keep pretending
As if I'm alright, this star light illuminates the pain I feel
I came to seal the deal and change is real.
I'm lost at sea, and the waves are getting higher,
This background behind me is singing choir.
And everything I ever do keeps me behind the first
Place in this race, wake up to find the worst
Surprise in this life, I'm blessed cuz I'm the curse
My death comes slowly maybe I need to buy the hearse.
I try to burst but it seems that the seams reel me in
It's gotten so bad even my friends make me feel like shit.

I'm in college now, I thought that things would change
But to be honest it's only gotten worse, these fits of rage.
It's insane... I wanna throttle someone,
This is lame, I have so many things, a lot of undone
Procedures in my head, I'm seething till I'm dead
Feeling like I read every last freakin' feed I get.
I can't stand the bubbles that just boil in my belly
Because bastards bow to buckshots and toil in the steady
Flow of sick pretensions, think I'll get detention
If I spit a rhyme so ill that the world will fix attention
on me? God, jeez, I can't believe this shit
I need to ease the pen, somebody free this kid!
At least there's one guy who I count on every day
Some fly around the point, I've found he'll never say
The shit that gets on my nerves, interesting,
He's sick indeed, that bitch is me!

I curl up like a snake waiting to sink my teeth in
I'm awake for half my life but I'm fed up with believing.
That there's someone waiting for me with open arms
Fucking case in point is all the songs about my broken heart.
Show the scars to the world but no one seems to care
Flowing hard for this girl, I blow to breathe the air.
Cuz you can't inhale without first letting go,
Steady, whoah, let me know when we're going,
are you ready? No. Of course I'm not, bastard,
Got plastered with crow, you're asking to stop faster
Than the speed of light, that's beyond my powers
Faster than the speed of flight smashing the falling towers.
My world is going up in smoke, and I fucking know,
Showing up feeling whole then realize that something's broke.
It feels bad, but this game has started, deal me in,
I see the end is near but fuck it, cuz it feels as if:

[Tash8]

Great beat, i expect nothing less from mart.
I like the way you ride the beat, you do slip up once or twice but nothing big. I think you got better as the song went on and my favorite line in the song would proly be
"on me? God, jeez, I can't believe this shit
I need to ease the pen, somebody free this kid!"
just the way you flow that and how your delivery is so strong fits the beat real well; i also like the creative rhyme of sick indeed/bitch is me

keep this up, i'll have to check out ur other songs

[Eedee]

Thanks for the good looks, dude!

And yeah, I slipped up but that's what I get for rushing my recording and being 400 miles away from the studio... I shall work on focusing more next time.

[TripleNineThree]

First off, the beat and the hook are sick. The hook sounds really professional like something I would hear on the radio.

Your flow is good on this track. Although there are a couple of spots you fall off like the choir line sounded really awkward to me. Besides that, you flow was solid.

Your delivery was really good, I enjoyed it. I could hear your emotion in this song, especially since it was a deeper and more serious song I enjoyed your delivery and emotion on it.

Lyrics were of course always good, nothing to really knock on that.

The only thing I can really knock on this is the mixing but the mixing is still pretty good. I enjoyed the doubling up on the ends of your lines, it was mixed good. Some of the echoes in your verse sounded out of place and others were too loud making it sound awkward. You've improved in mixing a lot though so keep it up man!