No Sucka MC's Competition - The Dark Wanderer

[Willy]

LOF: viewtopic.php?f=38&t=152359&p=2095586#p2095586

Yo! This is my entry for the competition. I would love to get some criticism/feedback/praise..

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9UcOETYcJJU

Also, if you have some spare time stop by my artist page and "Like" it. I'll be using it to post random videos/music/thoughts on life.. so I guess if you hate me you should probably stay away, but otherwise go for it.

http://www.facebook.com/pages/Dark-Wand ... 58?fref=ts

Thank you my good friends.

-willy

[AbramIsaac]

This shit was funny.

I liked the way you'd "fuck it up" and play off of it. It added some variety to it, made it seem less forced, which is always a danger with freestyle type of song. The bit at the end also, good shit.

You're getting there with your delivery. The ad libs were funny, and the writing was good too.

[Eedee]

As I told you on Facebook, I really enjoyed this.

The writing was great, had some great rhyming consistently throughout and that made the flow so smooth.
Delivery was enjoyable as well! You had that sarcasm/darkness about your tone that made the lyrics really pop out. Mixed very well.

I hope you win the contest!

[Willy]

Thanks for the feedback guys - I hope I win too. @Abram, I'm glad you thought this was an improvement voice-wise over my last track.. I'm trying to find a sweet spot with my voice where I don't have to try too hard but can still sound convincing.

And come on, I'm sure some of you think I'm some big condescending asshole.. this is your chance to tell ME how bad I suck. Plus it'd be cool to see what some of the other members I hold in high regard think: Slik, Amadeo, EminemInsider, EminemBase, Crashband, Class..etc. You know who you are.

[EminemBase]

Nice work, you're growing - some interesting... side-steps of expected rhymes that, seasoned rappers like Em do, where you think they'll rhyme x phrase but then go another way with it, you're getting better in every aspect, but I think you should start to figure out what you really want to say.

Being angsty and rebellious for the sake of art, if that is you, and for the sake of wordplay and humour is definitely fun and worthy, and I always enjoy it - but I think if you want to be more than that or eventually have artistic avenues to expand in to beyond just goading a plain reaction or provocation; you should start to really figure out what your views are and seep them in to your lyrics, web them between the provocation so it becomes richer. I realize this is like, a freestyle for a competition though so you're probably intentionally more aimless and just looking to show skill etc. - I mean in general though, I think start to dig in to themes beyond demonic humour, attack subject-matter WITH the same spirit and style, but just add some more meat to the bones conceptually.

You're developing a knack for phrasing though, keep it up.

[Dlovetv]

Sounds like a mash of hopsin, that dude he raps with ( i think his name is swizz) and old eminem (slower biterphobia).

This is dope, like who ever mixed this with the adlibs, and demon voices

When i try to write songs with this wild style/topic I have trouble coming up with the things you did

[Willy]

Thanks man, Em's my biggest influence and I definitely dig Hop. Appreciate the feedback homie.

[classthe_king]

Nice job man, you're really improving on the things we talked about. The only thing I would say is, I know that this was just a free verse but make sure you're wary of your subject matter going forward. All the songs you've sent me so far have been very similar so make sure that you mix it up sometimes and try and get creative with your ideas and content.

[Willy]

Thanks for the feedback.. I think you and Base are getting at the same thing. I need to make sure I don't get predictable and just try different things. It also has a lot to do with incorporating my personality/views into my songs so I don't just come off as 'shock rapper' that can rhyme. I appreciate your input and I'll keep improving.

[classthe_king]

Yeah just to expand more, you don't have to do the stereotypical emo song or leave your style, because it obviously works for you, just use it in different ways. Eminem wasn't making an album full of Just Don't Give A Fucks, he had Just The Two of Us and Murder, Murder too.

[Solace]

I liked your page. Keep at it nigga.

[Willy]

I liked your page. Keep at it *****.

Thanks man, appreciate it

[Willy]

Yea I think my delivery is my weakest area atm.. I'm still trying to get comfortable with my voice. Thanks for the kind words tho man I appreciate it.

[12characters]

So you're back..for good?

[Willy]

Sure am