ROM - Slicked Up (snippet)

[yung rom]

LOF: viewtopic.php?p=2119913#p2119913

ok so this is my first time posting here, read the rules but still have some questions like can u post snippets? well, whether u can or can't I'm doing this, so here's a song I wrote last night and recorded this morning with my sister (she sang background vocals)... the beginning is sung but then the rap verse comes. it's just a minute, but that's cuz its not the full song

lyrics in the description of the vid

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XrFd4AEw84c

also, if anyones wondering, I made the beat completely by myself in garageband (with no loops, all content mine other than the patches), so i guess I'm not just a rapper, i'm a producer, lol

[yung rom]

When posting a LOF, just post the entire link. The forum automatically shortens it for you. Please fix it.

As for the "snippet", it was decent. I don't really like when rappers change the pronunciation of words too much like you did on this. For example, Eminem does it on Relapse, but he's playing a character, so it's interesting, but you're REALLY stretching the sounds man. I don't like it very much, it seems lazy. That's just my opinion though. I'd like to hear something that's a little more normal so-to-speak.

The beat was cool. Not my style, but it's nice.

thanks for the feedback. i fixed the link, sry, i guess i'm much newer to this than i thought lol. I'm working on something right now and I'll try less dragging of the syllables (I totally know what you're talking about haha, don't worry) and i'll probably put it up here when it's done. but thx for the feedback!

[Solace]

I don't agree with Geno at all, the pronunciation and rhyming was cool. Your flow was on beat and it was interesting. Your problem is with the delivery and mixing. You're really just talking on the mic with some rhythm and pitch changes here and there. You don't sound like you give a shit about what you're saying. Work on emotion...Whether it's anger, fear, sadness, anything. Just ensure it's there. Once that is done your mixing will need work. What are you recording with?

[Solace]

He was basically whispering lol. Doesn't matter if that was the tone he was going for, it wasn't smooth or slick at all.

[yung rom]

I don't agree with Geno at all, the pronunciation and rhyming was cool. Your flow was on beat and it was interesting. Your problem is with the delivery and mixing. You're really just talking on the mic with some rhythm and pitch changes here and there. You don't sound like you give a shit about what you're saying. Work on emotion...Whether it's anger, fear, sadness, anything. Just ensure it's there. Once that is done your mixing will need work. What are you recording with?

well i see what you mean about emotion, but the absence of it in this piece was probably because it wasn't necessarily about a certain mood. I have a couple other songs (just look at the second to newest upload on that channel) where it's very clear what mood I'm in. It's just for this one, I was kind of unsure which one to portray. As for mixing... haha... well... there isn't any lol. I'm just using garageband with a really cheap controller and some soundfonts. the only 'mixing' that goes on is the compression when I export. for recording (assuming u meant vocals) i'm using a blue yeti mic with a pop filter.

i liked that flow you started with a lot , also who dat girl

haha that's my sister

[Solace]

You could have some amazing quality if you work on your mixing and fuck GarageBand, that's not good for recording vocals for rapping. Get Cool Edit Pro 2.1 or Adobe Audition, there are great tutorials floating around. For the singing part I recommend layering and panning, use the fact that music is stereo for the most part to your advantage.

well i see what you mean about emotion, but the absence of it in this piece was probably because it wasn't necessarily about a certain mood. I have a couple other songs (just look at the second to newest upload on that channel) where it's very clear what mood I'm in. It's just for this one, I was kind of unsure which one to portray.

A song doesn't need to have an angry or upset mood to allow you to have good delivery. As I said, you were basically talking into a mic. You don't sound confident at all, it's kind of like you were shy about it. I know you weren't trying that, but if you work on voice projecting you would sound much better. If your excuse for bad delivery is "Well I didn't know what I wanted to portray" then you should remind yourself that you'll never hear an accomplished rapper say that. The song talks about how dope you are basically but you're not letting it show with your voice.

[Ticalrecords]

i thought the flow was damn good, did you make the beat fit the rhyme or the other way around? either way it sounded pretty dope. might want to speak a lil louder though. the enunciation wasn't really a problem, its more of a volume issue.

mind checking mine out? its called AhdduB - LFT Intro

[yung rom]

i thought the flow was damn good, did you make the beat fit the rhyme or the other way around? either way it sounded pretty dope. might want to speak a lil louder though. the enunciation wasn't really a problem, its more of a volume issue.

mind checking mine out? its called AhdduB - LFT Intro

i made the rhyme fit the beat haha. and I checked urs out, check the page I left a comment

[Ticalrecords]

i thought the flow was damn good, did you make the beat fit the rhyme or the other way around? either way it sounded pretty dope. might want to speak a lil louder though. the enunciation wasn't really a problem, its more of a volume issue.

mind checking mine out? its called AhdduB - LFT Intro

i made the rhyme fit the beat haha. and I checked urs out, check the page I left a comment

well damn thats pretty cool cuz the beat and your flow meshed REALLY well, i was taken aback for a second.
and yes i saw, thank you for the feedback. i fixed the volume issue, could you check it out one more time please? i need as much critique as i can get loll