Trimss - Hangover

[Trimss]

Okay I was just listening to Rittz and I tried to rap like him. This is kinda for fun and for my Slumerican buddies.

Feedback: viewtopic.php?f=38&t=160410&start=15

Link: http://www.sharebeast.com/d2zlg2qt060w



Here are the lyrics, you'll need them to understand me.

Last Try...


It's noon I wake up with this bitch I knew, what happened last night and what did I do
Have I been chilling with my sick ass crew? Wait I have a tattoo is that new?
Hangover, please help me get through the bed, got up too damn fast I'm puking mad
Look at myself in the bathroom what's that
I got a bruise in fact did I get jumped by some hooligans?
Gotta stop I knew it man still I got laid with this beauty damn
Something is telling me man slow it down, bitches telling me I ain't flowing on
the beat shit I'm going in I'm moving on, I'm so insane I'm shooting y'all
You ain't seen sickest than me since a dumb ass kid with aids,
I'm the illest bitch I'll fucking make a deaf faggot listen to the shit I say
Hating on me is that how you feel today? Bitch I ain't got time to waste you gay
Fuck since I don't wanna sound homophobic now I'll have to punch a hoe and bitch
I did it so these sluts won't throw me shit the same one they fucking ate today
Anyway I hate to say I'm made this way but I'm a fucking lazy bum
I know it may seem crazy yeah but once in a while I give a fuck like raping nuns

So what's a paradise for me it's a pair of dykes
who suck dicks and bow down when I slay this mic

Huh..

Shiiiiiit.. That was just for fun.. Ha!
YU AH YEAHHHH

[PAINKILLƎR]

That was actually really fucking dope. It sounds like your a pro tbh. Your flow was super nice there was one point where it was a bit too fast and slurry but nothing too serious because I got most of what you were rapping. Beast.

tbh

[Trimss]

@Hage: Thanks and yeah lmao. Very funny and annoying accent but gotta live with it.

@Bigray: Thanks man! That's nice to read.

@Pain: Thanks a lot. It's really cool to hear that you guys could at least understand some of it without the lyrics.

[Snakebeast]

You had some sickass Yela-type flow in some parts, but you randomly stopped at parts ._. Kinda screwed it up a tiny bit.

I like the rhyming here, it's natural and coolio :3

I did it so these sluts won't throw me shit the same one they fucking ate today
Anyway I hate to say I'm made this way but I'm a fucking lazy bum
I know it may seem crazy yeah but once in a while I give a fuck like raping nuns

[12characters]

Trimss lowkey has the sexiest voice on TR.

[Trimss]

Trimss lowkey has the sexiest voice on TR.

That would be Solace.

[SajN]

I think you sound like Le Tunisien. That's not a bad thing, just saying you sound like him. Pretty much because of the accent, style of rapping, kiiiinda the voice, and the fact that you string together the rhymes like him. Sometimes I think the rhymes are somewhat forced.

One thing I didn't like was that I feel you used too many cuss words in this song. I know... I listen to Eminem and he cusses a lot, but I think some of your cussing was just a little too unnatural, like this part:

I'm the illest bitch I'll fucking make a deaf faggot listen to the shit I say
Hating on me is that how you feel today? Bitch I ain't got time to waste you gay
Fuck since I don't wanna sound homophobic now I'll have to punch a hoe and bitch
I did it so these sluts won't throw me shit the same one they fucking ate today

It's not necessarily a bad thing, but I think it became too much of it. Also, "you gay"? That "rhyme" was too forced and obviously a filler. It's like... "I don't have to time to waste... oh, btw, you're gay". You feel me (don't feel me physically, you gay, smh) ?

The rhyming is still somewhat nice, though. Your flow is aight, somewhat choppy, nice other places, but I didn't like some of the stops you did. Kinda ruins it.


Your accent is sexy, but not sexier than mine.

[Eedee]

No offense but this wasn't good. The vocal quality was the only thing positive I can say about this...

Your flow was fucking awkward... you stop randomly at parts and try to speed up and shit and it's just a mess.

I'm not saying that because of your voice/accent either, I've heard enough of your music to get accustomed to your style of voice but this just wasn't good, bro. I know you were trying a new flow style like Rittz or whatever but it didn't work. Experimentation is good though, so awesome for trying a new thing, but it just didn't work.

Plus it feels the beat is too low and the vocals overpower the actual beat.

[Francesco]

Good try... This is your first piece I hear if I'm not mistaken.

[Trimss]

@SajN, I understand what you mean. I honestly added some filler (cuss) words because I had to add syllables. Like I said, it was more of an experimental/test track and I'm sure I could do better than that. It's really the first track where I try to rap faster.

@Eedee, I didn't feel like my flow was "fucking" awkward. I do feel like it might sound forced, but the slow/fast thing was done on purpose so the track wouldn't get boring. I understand what you mean though man, and thanks for the feedback. Always appreciate being criticized and being told what I should improve.
I'm still trying to find a voice, and if the fast/slow flow was realized in a better way (if it sounded more natural) it probably wouldn't have sounded awkward etc..

@Francesco, thanks man. I barely ever post audios, it has happened like 4/5 times maybe.

[PAINKILLƎR]

Eedee's wackass feed even hurt my feelings. That feed was an overexaggeration.

[Eedee]

Yeah it did seem harsh haha, my bad, dawg.

However, IMO, the flow was awkward though. I just wasn't feeling it.

[SajN]

Eedee's wackass feed even hurt my feelings. That feed was an overexaggeration.

Concentrate about your own feed (not that your feed was any better). Eedee's feedback had some good points.

[Trimss]

Eedee's wackass feed even hurt my feelings. That feed was an overexaggeration.

Concentrate about your own feed (not that your feed was any better). Eedee's feedback had some good points.

concentrate on your own ass being raped by a 15 inches monster motherfucker




but yeah eedee had some good points, and you did too. let's move on

[TonyTilt]

I do this with myself all the time trying to rap like Rittz, it helps rapping over rittz's songs with him rapping too at first.

Good work though! And nice choice choosing "Paradise" I love that song.

And I don't know why you fuckers are so harsh ALL THE TIME, he blatantly said this was for fun.