Eedee- "Punishment" (ft. Big Ax-D)

[Eedee]

Link: viewtopic.php?f=38&t=162498

Finally got the two greenies on a song!
Enjoy!

https://soundcloud.com/eedeemusic/eedee ... t-big-ax-d

Eedee ft. Big Ax-D
PUNISHMENT
(Prod. by Big Ax-D)

[Verse 1: Eedee]
I'm under the sheets, I bundle for warmth,
My eyes are raining, there's thunder and storms.
Inside my head, but the time is wasting,
Are you fucking with me? Indeed, I'm blind to face it.
The hard truth is that, shit, my life is complex,
I tried the conquest but I've whined to talk yet.
So now my throat is all hoarse and raspy,
I've grown into the pain as the swords attack me.
I want more exactly how it feels in the present,
It feels real but it isn't but I deal with the settin'
Hot and choking, I need a breath of fresh air,
I saw me coping, I see the best, I rest there.
Calm but broken, keep the chest with less fare
Since all the open caskets are filled with death's stare.
I feel I deserve this, a punishment perfect
I'm runnin' from terms that just none of the words can...

[Hook: Eedee]
There's a punishment here that I know I deserve,
But this weight on my shoulders should be slowin' the earth.
Till it stops rotation and it's tidally locked,
The cold of the punishment, the side of it's hot.
But the light in the dark is the sun in the sky,
Never sinks below horizons so I'm humbled and die.
But I'm coming alive, but it's throwin' a curve,
It's just the fucking punishment that I know I deserve.

[Verse 2: Eedee]
So I finally got the nerve to send a bullet through my brain,
So now I sit in Hell, but I'm pulling through the pain.
I could hiss and yell for the Devil himself
To tell me to shush, but they ignore me... clever as Hell...
So instead I sit here just waitin' for my grim fate,
But dealin' with me? They're makin' up a big plate.
I keep carrying on, nothing they can do about it
Since they hauled me off and threw me out, shit.
So now I'm back on this Earth, bend down and kiss the land mass,
I smell the scent of nature, pretty sure it's the crab grass.
Damn, man, it's like I died and went to heaven,
But I was sent to Hell just several minutes ago,
But little I know, how belittled and slow I felt
I'm not on earth, it's a blow below the belt.
This is my punishment, aw fuck it, I feel
Like killing myself again 'cause nothing is real.

[Hook]

[Bridge: Eedee]
This is my punishment...
I deserve this fate.
Perfection...
Physical pain.
A paragon of punishment...
Pathetic.

[Verse 3: Big Ax-D]
*Will fill soon*

[Hook]

[PAINKILLƎR]

Really dope brother, loving this track. Your hook was awesome haha I loved it. I don't know what it is particularly about this track that makes me feel that you're in your element. You sound really confident and you flowed exceptionally well. Rhyming was great. Big Ax-D was fucking dope. Just really enjoyed this track. Can I download this or something? Is it coming out on a mixtape or album or anything?

[Eedee]

Ah shit, yeah. Let me turn on downloads on Soundcloud.

Glad you liked it! I felt comfortable doing this track. I think it was the production. Dope dope dope.

[PAINKILLƎR]

Yes really dug the beat, good shit brother.

[Ticalrecords]

hmm, couple questions about the actual rhymes, "i've tried to conquest but i've whined to talk yet"....is either grammatically incorrect or an incomplete sentence loll. even if the thought continues to the next line its still...incoherent. also, "the swords attack me" bar... what the hell does that mean? loll i'm just asking. other than that the mixing is pretty damn good.

[Vettori]

This beat is disgusting >.< shout out to whoever made it.....
First verse- Lyrics are fine. But you have a very structured style that seems to limit you.
You should try to change your pitch every now and then. Just to keep the ear entertained.
Chorus was done fairly well..A Better vibe then the verse gave.
Verse 2- Was Much better. I actually liked it a lot. Your concept was strong enough to allow me to ignore the monotone ish feeling..
Your quality needs a step up. It could be more enjoyable..
Verse 3- Ax sounds good.. Some negative thoughts which I don't mind but it's still ok. There is an audience for it..I like what you did at the very end with the "Volly-Ume--Up" Sounded sick as fuck... Before it it had a few struggled lines... but it's a dope track... Might not have the greatest replay value because of the lack of melodies...Maybe I'm wrong, it's more so personal preference... Some extra energy might help.

Cool shit dudes

[Eedee]

@Tical - Lol, for the grammar shit - word. As for the "swords attack me", I was inferring to the "hoarse and raspy"part. Ya know like if you have a sore throat, it's a saying like there's little tiny swords in your throat? That's what I was going for.

@Vettori - Thanks for the feed. I'll try and switch up the tone a bit, though I didn't feel it was "monotone" like you said. Thanks for bringing it up to my attention. I'll be conscious of this issue from now on.

[FxTDilz]

Hey bro big ups for this track, you tried something different imo and pulled it off. Not the biggest fan of this Big Axd dude but I'm sure with more listens I'll get into him a bit more

[Eedee]

Yeah, took me a while but I really dig his stuff now!

[B.A.D.]

Thanks to everyone

Eedee killed it!

This beat is also one of my most proudful productions thanks for the comments on it

[Eedee]

Shit, well thanks for letting me use it, mane.

[TripleNineThree]

Wow... This song is great!

Verse 1 - Dope. Lyrics, flow, mixing, everything. I really can't find anything to knock. It sounds great.

Chorus - This had to grow on me, the mixing sounded weird from the verses to the hook but I enjoy it now. I just had to get use to the change. It fits the beat well.

Verse 2 - Same as verse 1. It stayed consistent, there's not much for me to knock.

Verse 3 - Big Ax-D did his thing. The verse is good. It has a different feeling and flow to it which seems to match the beat and the darker concept of the song. As far as I listen closely, the lyrics sounded good. I like Eedee's verses more but this one is also good.

Overall, great song. Good job guys!

[Eedee]

Cheers!