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Da R Star - Journey (Wedding Song)

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Da R Star - Journey (Wedding Song)

Postby da r star » Sep 15th, '13, 18:12

feedback: viewtopic.php?f=38&t=163986#p2326421

What's up, I posted a song here a year ago but didn't get any feedback, hopefully I get some this time around.

This is a song I wrote for one of my best friend's wedding. It's about the mixed emotions, ranging from fear, doubt and ultimately joy, of a young couple approaching their Wedding Day. I made the beat too. Lyrics below.

If you like this, please follow me on Twitter for more updates: twitter.com/mrstraightfire.



Journey

[Verse 1]

Sitting with my whole life ahead of me
24, I'm already ready to write the rest of it
Such a commitment to make at any age
Much even greater when they say that many fail

It's daunting, the pressure is building up
And it's specially getting tough with the dread of splitting, plus
Many of the guys, tell me to try
A slice of every pie, but in my eyes that's a heavy lie

And in my heart of hearts I know I'm right
Seven years by my side, that is clear she's my bride
Or am I just, convincing my self
That's the Devil in my ear, just messing with my head

'Cause to me, when you know then you just do
But there's only a few folks who think it's true
You and I, two souls meant to fuse
You and I, a new road meant for two

[Chorus]

So come walk with me, to greener pasture
I don't ever see, being without ya'
You were meant for me, so from here and after
I ain't going on alone so please

Follow me, come take my hand so we can
Walk right down this Journey
Follow me, until the end
And we'll walk right down this Journey

[Verse 2]

The day with The Big Dress: a little girl's dream
More than tale of a princess, it means the world to me
Such a commitment I've waited to make for days
Nothing is greater than embracing your love this way

Surely I've heard the: "It's too early"
Mommy told me to tie the knot with somebody that's worthy to be
The father of my daughter or the father of my son
I'm pouring out my heart in this, he ought to be the one

But with all the magazines and the stories that you read
From women that you meet or when your friend's been deceived
Hard not to believe that every men lie and cheat
But somehow somewhere deep I know this ain't applying to me

It' something special, such a blessing, see
Call it luck or destiny, but regardless to me
I'm so proud to have landed such a man and a friend
And now is the beginning of plan 'til the end

[Chorus]

So come walk with me, to greener pasture
I don't ever see, being without ya'
You were meant for me, so from here and after
I ain't going on alone so please

Follow me, come take my hand so we can
Walk right down this Journey
Follow me, until the end
And we'll walk right down this Journey

[Verse 3]

Now, here's my message to ya'
Listen to yourselves and no one else, 'cause that's what is love
I'mma be honest, I hardly know a thing about it,
But when I look at you, I think I got it

You alone have a say in how the story develops
Don't be like one of the people who chose to let up
I wish it works forever, this is for worst or better
So when it's storm and rainy weather, think how long you've stayed together

'Cause it's no Journey, without a share of twists and turns
'Cause really, that's what marriage is for sure
But what's a fight here and there in a whole life of joy
When stuff go down, just work it out 'cause no one likes divorce

And I know it's probably obvious, but I hope it got you conscious
To be grateful 'cause most people don't get to find this
Bond, this fondness for each other, two consummate lovers
I dedicate this poem, doing this song was my honor

And my final word is, I wish you the best
'Cause you highly deserve it, this I can bet
Ready for the ride? Guess that's the case
So for one last time look at each other and say

[Chorus]

So come walk with me, to greener pasture
I don't ever see, being without ya'
You were meant for me, so from here and after
I ain't going on alone so please

Follow me, come take my hand so we can
Walk right down this Journey
Follow me, until the end
And we'll walk right down this Journey
da r star
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Re: Da R Star - Journey (Wedding Song)

Postby Eedee » Sep 15th, '13, 18:56

I really like this. I love the imagery you used.

The beat is simple but it works. I feel I've heard that bassline before though. The melody of it. I swear I've heard it before haha, but I can't for the life of me place it.
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Re: Da R Star - Journey (Wedding Song)

Postby mdemaz » Sep 15th, '13, 18:58

Flow is tight, cool beat, the hook could of been better, I feel...
The recording quality is good, but it sounds a bit too raw.
Would of helped if you squashed the vocals a bit.

Other than that, pretty damn good.

I no longer use Twitter much, but, I'll keep a look out for you.

Keep grinding.

One final thing, Mat is my name and Josie is my mom's name.

That made me chuckle.
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Re: Da R Star - Journey (Wedding Song)

Postby da r star » Sep 15th, '13, 19:10

Eedee wrote:I really like this. I love the imagery you used.

The beat is simple but it works. I feel I've heard that bassline before though. The melody of it. I swear I've heard it before haha, but I can't for the life of me place it.


Thanks for the feedback. You did hear it before lolll, it's a variation of Lil Wayne's song Mirror. The notes are very similar but it's on a different scale and the drum pattern is taken from that song too.

@mdemaz Thanks man. What do you mean squash the vocals? And sorry if I made it weird for you at the end :D
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Re: Da R Star - Journey (Wedding Song)

Postby Eedee » Sep 15th, '13, 19:15

YES! I'M NOT CRAZY

I fucking knew it was from something haha
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Re: Da R Star - Journey (Wedding Song)

Postby mdemaz » Sep 15th, '13, 19:19

What recording software do you use?

If it's mutiltrack, you should send all the vocals to one track and put a limiter on that track, then just turn up the other tracks with vocals up, making them louder and more warm, but the limiter stops them from distorting.

That gives your vocals more UMPH.

I use Waves L1 Ultramaximizer+.

But, raw recordings work well if you're layering entire verses.

Sorta like Relapse...

For hooks, I usually go full volume center, half or full volume second layer in the center and half volume hard pan left and right.

And I thought that bassline was familiar but, what matters is that you made the beat.

Sometimes it helps to have a template to work with, so, it's cool.
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Re: Da R Star - Journey (Wedding Song)

Postby da r star » Sep 15th, '13, 20:14

mdemaz, thanks for the tips. I'm using Cubase 5 to record.

I'm really not too good with the technical terms and all, but I don't get what you mean buy raw recordings when layering verses like in Relapse? I would think raw recordings is when you don't put any effect or compression or anything, but I did compress my vocals a bit and added reverb. But I understand putting a limiter, I will try that!

Yeah, I wrote the song to Mirrors because I didn't really know what kinda beat would suit my idea and it helped me come up with the track.
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Re: Da R Star - Journey (Wedding Song)

Postby Mr.DGAF » Sep 15th, '13, 23:49

You've got a cool voice man, it kinda reminds me of Trip-9-3 in how it's kinda gravelly but deep and shit. This was cool. You've got some nice schemes, nothing like shockingly impressive but it shoes that you've got a grasp on some of the technicalities. As far as flow, I feel like sometimes the pauses between bars was a little too much or something, but it wasn't something that made the track unlistenable or anything.

All in all this was pretty damn solid dude, I don't usually expect this from people I haven't seen post around here a lot.
You'd be surprised...
How many truths you can hide in flows

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Re: Da R Star - Journey (Wedding Song)

Postby da r star » Sep 16th, '13, 00:47

Thanks for the feedback Mr.DGAF. I do understand what you are saying with the pauses. At times I wanted to give it more of a talking vibe and make it seems as if I'm thinking on the spot. I guess it's hit and miss.
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Re: Da R Star - Journey (Wedding Song)

Postby mdemaz » Sep 16th, '13, 08:05

da r star wrote:mdemaz, thanks for the tips. I'm using Cubase 5 to record.

I'm really not too good with the technical terms and all, but I don't get what you mean buy raw recordings when layering verses like in Relapse? I would think raw recordings is when you don't put any effect or compression or anything, but I did compress my vocals a bit and added reverb. But I understand putting a limiter, I will try that!

Yeah, I wrote the song to Mirrors because I didn't really know what kinda beat would suit my idea and it helped me come up with the track.

Raw is unprocessed, barely any processing...
Like, all you do is amplify the vocals...

I think it might be your microphone, I dunno...

Well, oh well, just experiment with your voice is all I can say.

Try different settings.

You should download Reaper; it's a pretty dope DAW.
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Re: Da R Star - Journey (Wedding Song)

Postby TripleNineThree » Sep 16th, '13, 19:21

This is dope. I listen to a lot of people's tracks on the forum but usually don't bother posting anything because most of the time the songs suck lol but I really like this. I just got married a couple of weeks ago at a young age as well (19) so I definitely relate to this song which is one of the reasons I like it so much. Keep it up man, you did a great job!

The mixing could be better but that will come with practice and experimentation. The hook was really simple but it worked because it matched the beat good.

Overall, great job!!
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Re: Da R Star - Journey (Wedding Song)

Postby da r star » Sep 17th, '13, 01:50

@TripleNineThree Damn 19 is young!! I'm 25 and I can't see myself getting married now, but more power to you. I'm glad you could relate to the song, because I was not the one getting married but I tried to put myself in someone else's shoes and write from that perspective which can be difficult. Thanks for the feedback!

Also, I listed to that Broken Dram track of yours, really good!! I loved the hook. Who did the beat?
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Re: Da R Star - Journey (Wedding Song)

Postby Flamez » Sep 17th, '13, 17:18

This is pretty awesome I liked it the flow was good to me, and the beat sounded fine to me. Good stuff :y:
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Re: Da R Star - Journey (Wedding Song)

Postby B.A.D. » Sep 17th, '13, 20:21

brother this is quite quite sick man, very straight flow and proper quality. There is no feedback I can give you honestly, I enjoyed listening to this man

The hook is magnificent, I love how you deliver the "so come walk me"

good on ya mate
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Re: Da R Star - Journey (Wedding Song)

Postby da r star » Sep 18th, '13, 12:45

Thanks man! I'mma check out your stuff too @B.A.D.
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